OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

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Rich Bingham
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Feb 15, 2019 3:01 pm

Why yes, that's true. Although he almost never rode barefoot, on at least one such occasion he was able to employ the saddle horn as #21.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Feb 15, 2019 3:16 pm

We're not sure if this is the spare room in Dick's apartment or the shop on third street. He was mainly producing Bi-Strismic Kaphistulators although Gilderflukes and flackerpoths were still in demand. Neighbors often pitched in when needed. Dick took time out for kazoo lessons so as not to become too obsessed by his medazzlement. The town was also world renowned for it’s roadside mushroom stands and disgusting, smelly goats but KD called it home during the interim.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Fri Feb 15, 2019 11:42 pm

Not much has been mentioned about KD's accidental discovery, by reversing the postulatory ebb and
flow restrictor (too much Happy Sally, he later confided), he produced the first advanced phaspiculator
from a basic-frame kaphistulator. Something never thought possible by critics of the kaphistulation
process.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Feb 16, 2019 4:55 am

That is something we don't like to talk about because of philisofickle differences between KD and the Hiplefunk Corporation. They immediatly took claim of it's origin even tho photographs, charts and diaphragms proved otherwise. I ask you all to keep this photo under your hats.
phistulator.jpg
We can eazilee sea KD's influence on the halfaldasher windings and the picklepronk side piece. Flow monitors were added later but the twain didn't appear to deviate. I won't bore you with the other details but let's just say bytrons will be bytrons.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Wayne Sheldon » Sat Feb 16, 2019 5:03 am

If I am going to keep that photo under my hat I am going to have to get my printer fixed!


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Sat Feb 16, 2019 9:40 am

Gonna definitely need a bigger hat too.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Feb 16, 2019 11:06 am

Good morning Wayne and Thomas and everyone else for that matter. I should mention that you don't really need a printer. You can take some thin tracing paper, Venom as we call it in the trade, and lay it over the viewing screen. Then with prizmatic colored pencils you can trace the different colors onto the paper. With a little practice it looks just like a print. When I was a draftsman out on the desert and we ran out of the store bought venom we would catch a bunch of rattlesnakes and milk the poison out of them. Spreading in out evenly on a flat rock and letting it dry it was just as good. Maybe even better.
You must be careful to wash your hands thoroughly afterwards. We were fortunate to have a Lava-Tree near the office.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sat Feb 16, 2019 1:26 pm

Which sledge do you seek, oh Eaglous One ? The weight and handle lengths are many. They are stashed
between the wall studs near the welder and torch.

The Lava Tree was/is quite plentiful in Wyoming and my own region. Eruptions are rare, but spectacular
and dangerous. It was no place to have a treehouse when they let loose. The papers, old and new, are filled
with stories of horror and mayhem.

A large draw to both the Chugwater Regatta and other civic "parties" around Calhoun County was the
Rattlesnake Roundup. Especially when the supply of colored pencils was low, which almost always involved
the train being delayed in Buckskin Cañon by bandits or toads on the tracks. Who doesn't remember the
massive toad migrations ?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Feb 16, 2019 1:48 pm

Well they were then and still are an endangered specie protected by many laws and statutes for their protection as they should be. I generally start out with an 8 lb. In the morning and gradually work up to a 16 lb. by afternoon. Depending on the heat and my energy level I drift back a little before bed time. Do treat them gently. As for the papers with stories, I find them a bit scratchy and use the venom.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Feb 16, 2019 2:49 pm

As we veer into discussing hats and toads, it may be of minor interest to note that for Kalamity Dick, "keeping it under your hat" was commonplace. For many years, he kept a complex filing system in his hat which entailed documentation and blueprints of his inventions and machinery improvements, his daily journal, and all the receipts from Ernie's Saloon. It was the primary reason he chose to wear a tophat. The contents of KD's top hat provided upwards of 40,000 pages for the Institute's archives, all meticulously written out in long hand on pages of venom.

As for toads, sometime in the late 1970's, Slug Spaydaford's great-grandson, Ringo Spaydaford, formed a rock band in Chugwater, which he cleverly named "Toadhat". Besides being homage to the Wyoming toad migrations, the name was a spinoff of a popular British group Ringo admired, called "Froghat".

Disclaimer: Most naturalists agree neither frogs nor toads wear hats in the wild.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Sat Feb 16, 2019 7:21 pm

I sprayed for frogs and butterflies last week and so far havnt seen one. It is 25 degrees out so pull the top hat down to the collar line to keep your head warm.


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Sat Feb 16, 2019 7:23 pm

You must admit that hats in the wild brings to mind hunting squirrels for dinner with the 45-70 buffalo gun. Why? you may ask...Don't really know but it may have something to do with the empty bottle of Happy Sally sitting on my desk. What were we talking about anyway? I dare say it has been a long day digging out of the parakeet feathers here in the wilds of the LA Basin.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Feb 16, 2019 8:07 pm

Cuthbert Maddox was pretty handy with a trap-door Springfield that shot the .45-70 Gov't. round. He could shoot the top hats off of the lead toads during the migrations at 80 yards. At least that's what he claimed. I'm not sure of that, but I do know he could hit those Happy Sally empties at 40 paces two out of three times. Squirrel isn't bad eatin' when properly seasoned. Thanks for the reminder, Thomas, and by the way, if you have any parakeet feathers to spare, the Institute is trying to make up an authentic pair of chaps for the Kluterman Endowment display next St. Swithin's day. Contributions would be most welcome.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sat Feb 16, 2019 10:11 pm

The snow is piling up outside and the old woodstove is keeping the place pretty warm. As I
sit here weedling my mautox, the question popped into my head, did KD hone the inside of the
sonotube shipping containers for the parakeet feathers ? The sonohoner/reamer is still on display
in the central foyer at the Institute. This got me thinking, what to they use today ? Is production
automated, or still done by hand with the special gleening mittens ?

And while thinking of parakeets, the female Eclectus Vosmarii (a larger bird) is the only one known
to fly backwards. It is also the only one to shed its legs during migration to the South Pacific, where
it breeds and raises a clutch of eggs. Once the young are old enough to fly, they return to the Upper
Chugwater, growing legs during the return flight. At one time these birds darkened the sky, they were
so plentiful.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Sun Feb 17, 2019 2:03 am

Sorry Rich, it seems like the Parakeet feathers all floated away in the floods. I too have heard references to the savory taste of well seasoned squirrel, but it seems like with the small size of the current squirrels in Southern California,when hit dead center there isn't much left to cook. Trying to get better with head shots, but I'll admit with my advancing years I'm not as steady as I was in my youth. Perhaps I need to practice a bit more on the hamsters in the basement?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Feb 17, 2019 7:47 am

Another photo from the attic without any note on the back. I wish someone would have taken the time to let us know about this guy.

=0]goggles.jpg[/attachment]
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:15 am

He looks familiar as heck We're running it on Mug-O-scan right now.
Just wondering if these are still available for the Kluterman Endowment display?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Feb 17, 2019 8:32 am

The Mug-O-Scan locked up on Suzaophonist, Duke Fitzellwitz. We think it may be his brother Zeek. Cuthbert had a good friend named Zeek whom he fished and trapped parakeets with. I will keep the machine running for the rest of the day. Others will Surely know more.
Surely Moore also fished there.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sun Feb 17, 2019 2:19 pm

Duke and Zeek had more brothers than you could shake a stick at. Only Duke retained the
family name of Fitzellwitz (for stage porpoises) after coming through Immigration at Elvis
Island. The rest got a simpler name "reassignment" by customs officials of "Futz" and the rest
is history. Buck Futz was the most famous of the bunch. A Google search of "Buck Futz" will
pull up all sorts of interesting stuff for you.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Feb 17, 2019 2:24 pm

Interesting. Duke and Zeek also had a sister named Marva who entered the Sapwater beauty pageant. After strenuous competition and an unforgettable kazoo number they named her Marva, Miss Tree oil.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sun Feb 17, 2019 3:53 pm

Rich, who has custody of those vintage parti-colored parakeet chaps ? They would be perfect for the Kluterman Endowment display, much better than trying to make up a new reproduction for the display. There's plenty of time before St. Swithin's day.

Zeek Futz was indeed a good friend of Cuthbert's. The two of them did a lot of fishing and parakeet trapping with something of a twist. They would fabricate elaborate systems of lattice work and nets to trap fish in mountain streams, while using fly-rods to "fish" for parakeets. They would bait double-ought treble hooks with bits of salted nut roll, and cast into the trees for parakeets. They usually "limited out".

Wasn't their sister Marva a living doll ? No wonder she won the Tree Oil pageant six years in a row. Contestants who were jealous of her natural good looks often claimed she never should have won the contest on the grounds that the kazoo is not a "legitimate" musical instrument, but their arguments were specious. Marva was a virtuoso on the kazoo, and a very accomplished musician. Most people don't know that it was she who wrote the scores for Duke's many hit songs. She accompanied Duke on at least two of his concert tours, and was billed as "Marva: Miss Tree Oil". She had a huge number of devoted fans who would turn out just to see her accompany Duke on the kazoo.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Feb 17, 2019 5:15 pm

Hi Rich, The chaps photo came in from Herb's side of the octocable. He said something about a museum in Branson Missouri. If he gets time maybe he will tell us more.
What's this about a kazoo not being a "legitimate" musical instrument? Kalamity studied at Juilliard for 16 years.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sun Feb 17, 2019 7:24 pm

Thanks, Rich ! I believe the Kluterman Endowment has reciprocity with Branson. We'll wait for Herb.

Some of the pageant contestants had a beef with the committee, and pointed out that the New York Philoharmonica's list of instrument sections did not include the kazoo. Some claim that lapse amounts to some form of legitimacy, although it's a well-known fact that some of the finest orchestrations have included the kazoo, jew's harp, bulb horns, .38 caliber pistols and the like. We refer you once again to the masterful works of Lindsay Armstron Jones. (link back to previous posts on Prof. Jones in this topic)
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Feb 17, 2019 7:26 pm

german airplane.jpg
germans with goggles.jpg
pilot.JPG
These were found in the Goodwill store in Chugwater.
Do they have any significance to the Kalamity Dick saga?

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Feb 17, 2019 9:22 pm

We do know KD was crazy about flying. I've Zeroxed your question over to the Institute for further investigation.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Feb 17, 2019 11:31 pm

Ah Richard that somehow explains this photo from the Chugwater Gazette:
pizza.JPG
I wonder if there are mushrooms on that slice?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:03 am

In Herb's airplane photo above, we see KD's special flying shelter for the Diablo Perro
he kept as a pet. The perro liked the wind in his face so KD put him right up front.
In spite of the long lives the Diablo Perros typically have, few photos of KD's pet are
known. Here is one, captured by Cuthbert, when the two got into the big fight over the
Diablo Perro getting into Cuthbert's trash and spreading ot all up and down Wigwam Street.

trailcam1.jpg
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Feb 18, 2019 11:37 am

It brings up the old question "Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?"
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Feb 18, 2019 7:42 pm

Raoul, my deepest apologies for the malfunction of the octocable. The image that came through in error is actually from the Institute archives. It shows "Skinny" Spaydaford in his underwear testing KD's first generation night goggles. Photo below shows Kalamity's dog, Diablo Perro.
[attachment=0]image.jpg
Diablo Perro was actually a mild mannered Welsh Corgi whose shadow inadvertently startled Dick late one afternoon. Taking the Corgi's ears for the devil's horns, KD was relieved to find it was not Beelzebub, but a friendly, short dog. Kalamity called him Diablo as a joke. The tiff with Cuthbert over spilled garbage was a short one. The real culprit was a skunk which Cuthbert caught in the act. Unfortunately, the skunk caught Cuthbert with both barrels. It was when he went to Dick's place to apologize that the friends found Happy Sally was the best remedy for being sprayed by a skunk. It actually doesn't do anything for the lingering odor, but after a couple of shots, you don't care. It was shortly after this episode that KD came up with the formula for a miracle oil that would remedy most of the ailments Model T Fords are given to. Rather than admit he based the formula on skunk oil, Kalamity called it "mystery oil". Somewhere along the way he must have sold the formula.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Mon Feb 18, 2019 7:49 pm

"Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?" Good question. Much research has gone into that subject and the inconclusive answer has been determined to be hidden in the archives of the Chugwater Hysterical Society. Unfortunately it was misplaced during the reorganization of files back in the days of the renovation and no one can remember what it was filed under. Perhaps the files are still there, but are they filed under "H" for helmet or "K" for Kamikaze. Perhaps they were filed under "P" for Parakeet? It may take years of research to know the answer.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Mon Feb 18, 2019 10:44 pm

Not that dog, .... this one:

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Wed Feb 20, 2019 9:25 pm

By the deafening sound of silence, I am guessing nobody knows a darn thing about KD's
Diablo Perro. I'll send a telex to Heinrich at the Institute and see if he can come up with
anything.

Heinrich did send along this photo he found of Funkbunkler Street, just up the hill from
the pier, in Fecklersburg. Dated 1912. No other information. Looks like Buck Futz and his
beautiful bride Juana. Juana came from the Dumee clan, that mostly settled near the coal
mines on the upper Chugwater. In spite of her dainty appearance, it is said that she picked
the Trinity Church up off its foundation to save a drowning child. Newspaper reports confirm
it too !

fecklersburg.jpg
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Feb 21, 2019 7:29 am

Well here are some photos from the era when Kalamity collaborated with John Phillip Sousa:
musical instruments.jpg
musical instrument shop.jpg
By the way that looks like a photo of Thomas Edison up on the wall in the lower photo. I wonder if they knew one another, or did he know Henry too?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Thu Feb 21, 2019 10:50 am

All four traveled to China together to study Pandas, before forming the American Panda
Groomers Society. Business was slow, but they all enjoyed cupcakes equally. Pandas
respond well to Souzaphone music, studies have shown.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:58 pm

Though the Pandas tended to make low droning noises when eating the cupcakes coining the phrase "Panda- moanium". Must say that is an elegant music store.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Feb 21, 2019 4:58 pm

Has anyone seen Heinrich this afternoon? He's not in his office. He was supposed to be checking on the Diablo Perro and some other recent questions.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Feb 21, 2019 5:13 pm

We sent Sebastian up to check on him a few hours ago. He went through the cubby-hole at the back of Heinrich's office (visible in the picture) to see if Heinrich may have caused an avalanche in the stacks, but he hasn't returned yet. I hope he didn't get lost, he has the horse-radish sauce for my sandwich, and it's way past lunch-time.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:58 pm

I am slow to respond to this news of Heinrich being lost. I am worried, as that burger, sweet
potato fries, and smooth-sipping JB Black are going to go to waste or get knocked on the floor
if he stays away too long.

I must say, I like his organizational style, and the ambiance of the place is first cabin.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Fri Feb 22, 2019 2:18 am

I doubt that Heinrich is truly lost. Good research takes time and uninterrupted thought processes. There is also the possibility that the burger, fries and JB Black are there to lure the Diablo Perro out of hiding.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Feb 22, 2019 6:08 am

professor Damrell.jpg
I don't know much about this one.
I guess if you need to get somewhere and happen to have a litter of timber wolves you make do?
Was this due to one of Kalamity's failed experiments?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Feb 22, 2019 6:09 am

Was Professor Damrell an associate of Kalamity?

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Feb 22, 2019 10:13 am

Yes he was. He invented Grille cream. "A little Damrell do ya". Wolves make their own do.
The previous winter Dick had a lot of trouble making the Runabout crank up. He called on Carl Start. He talked Dick into installing an all electric carburetor which solved the problem and cut the gas consumption to nearly nothing. He mentioned it would have more draw on the battery and Dick protested "I don't want anyone drawing on my Battery". It took some convincing. Dick blamed the low battery life on the acid balance and added some salt. This did improve battery life but little did he know that "Salt in the Battery" was a felony in Wyoming and he spent some time in the slammer. Some quick thinking and he got the slammer to close silently and was let off with good behavior. This was just prior to the Whicheldopper design but didn't affect it any.
DickStart.jpg
DickStart.jpg (19.99 KiB) Viewed 28533 times
DickStCrb.jpg
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Fri Feb 22, 2019 11:19 am

We can now all say that we damwell know the answer to that one.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Feb 22, 2019 11:13 pm

As Thomas predicted, Heinrich was easily found. The circumstances are a little embarrassing, but Sebastian promised me he won't mind if I brief our readers on Heinrich's temporary disappearance. It appears he had misplaced the key to the executive washroom, and was obliged to use the gentlemen's convenience at the Seventy-'Leventy two blocks from the Institute. All is well, and Heinrich spent the rest of the afternoon eating cheese puffs and researching Professor Damrell's amazing journey from Stevens Point, Wisconsin to Milwaukee. It seems he was just kidding about going from Seattle to New York. "Who would be crazy enough to take a trip like that ?" was Professor Damrell's reply to reporters who had somehow heard a rumor that was his intended route. The Professor made a tidy sum selling postcards of the wolf team hitched to his light four-wheel gig, and using the unique mode of transportation to promote a new breakfast cereal called Killdogg's Kibble Flakes, equally nutritious for people and their canines. But the job was flakey, and so Damrell headed for Hollywood with his wolves, where things made more sense. The wolves made a lot of money for the Professor as stunt doubles for Rin Tin Tin in early silent movies.

Currently, Sebastian and Heinrich are hoping to shed some light on Kalamity's use of the electric carburetor. So far, what they have learned has been rather shocking. Sorry for the short notice. More later !
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:14 am

There is a half-page ad in the March 12, 1915 edition of the Fecklersburg Fantestical
that shows Kalamity Dick was marketing a kick starter for automobiles. He called it the
"Dick Smart Kick Start". By the looks of it, he stole the idea from the gasoline powered
Maytag washing machine that Ma Fromberg kept on her back porch, across the alley
from KD's vestibule factory. Coincidence ?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Feb 23, 2019 8:17 am

"Yo Rinny!" that was a favorite. No coincidence Raoul. KD often stole things from Ma Fromberg's porch. The "Dick Smart Kick Start" kept the fracture clinic in Peckersville busy for years. Dick himself got a kickback from them.
As for the Professor, he and Gilligan made that trip nearly a dozen times. Maybe more.
Heinrich wrote a rather lengthy apology to you all and has sent them out in the noon mail. If you don't get one be sure to send a telegram.
Time for my Kibble Flakes and cream.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sat Feb 23, 2019 8:48 am

I believe this is a photo of a proto type head cam that Kalamity was developing. He called it the head can.
Am I right or completely wrong?
can on head.JPG
After all photography was also a mechanical thing in those days.


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Sat Feb 23, 2019 10:17 am

KD was way "ahead" of his time. This is the eariest known work on memory storage. The modern computer is derived from KD's work on the head can. Turns out the can was filled with chips, he just had to wait for technology to catchup. I think the fact that spam has already been talked about in an earlier post. Thank you for this historical photo of early tech in developement.
I hope I didnt open a can of worms here. Now where is that can opener?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Feb 23, 2019 10:41 am

There was a bit of confusion at the time. When Kalamity said he needed to replace a head cylinder, Cuthbert tore down his raceabout. It took three weeks to get a new gasket.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Feb 23, 2019 11:16 am

Thanks Herb. I have been looking for that photo for months. It was taken outside the Sapwater plant as you can see. Travis Fitzellwitz (no relation) conducted the experiment. The original computer they developed ran completely on vacuum using a series of automatic valves. That is actually where Cuthbert's gasket went. Bill Gates later said it "sucked" but what would he know.
Joy just asked if KD was on any of the Lewis and Clark expeditions. They were way before his time. He did, however, play pool with Clark at Ernie's. He always made sure he carried a sack of gawea in his backpack.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sat Feb 23, 2019 2:01 pm

I believe this is the part of the story where Phineas Lumbarton Pilaster comes to play a
large role. His part in B-valve development was revolutionary across industry and dance
beyond the perimeter of the tri-burg area.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Feb 23, 2019 2:33 pm

PLP as he was known over home. Didn't they live in the two-story, fieldstone structure with brick chimneys? The B-valve as I recall it was famous for replacing the A-valve. A feet all in itself. The boys will look it up when they return from tether-ball practice.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Wayne Sheldon » Sat Feb 23, 2019 3:36 pm

And I thought he was going to "clam up" about the Bi-valve?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Feb 23, 2019 3:39 pm

Actually it was Cuthbert who went on many "Louis and Clark" expeditions. That is, he went fishing many times with Louis Hudspeth and Clark Dumbarton. As we know, Kalamity was not especially interested in fishing for fish. This is where Phineas Pilaster's valve improvements come into the picture. His final improvement after the "B-valve" was the "Sea Valve" which teleported ocean water into a cove in Chugwater Lake. Cuthbert along with Louis and Clark made the trip there many itmes as they especially enjoyed the oysters, Dungeness crab and Langostino that thrived in those briny depths.

Sebastian and Leopold just returned from tetherball practice a little non-plussed as neither was a clear winner. Uncle Lumby lost count while score-keeping. I'm a little worried about his memory loss of late. Perhaps his computer needs a new "B-valve" ?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:03 pm

Yah, the're still lookin'. So far all they have found is the G-valve which was used intermittently during the Spring-fest.
Gvalve.jpg
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Sat Feb 23, 2019 6:47 pm

Is that the same G-valve that was used to bifurcate the snarflogger and the cattlenoggles? It seems there would still be a market for those if the proper spark plugs could be found.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sat Feb 23, 2019 7:36 pm

Research to perfect the G-valve led down the path of developing a better spark plug, however,
in a typo slip, the researchers began working on a perfected spork plug, which in turn, led to the
invention of the spork. Picked up by 1000's of restaurants and plastic cutlery supply chains, the
team made millions, which in turn, funded the Pispacattiquawttimauken Lodge and Preserve, that
now occupies most of the Upper Chugwater drainage. Only the holdouts from the coal and flatulence
mines hold land in that area othewise dedicated to the preservation of bleens in their wild environment.
The legacy of Phineas Lumbarton Pilaster is now a large part of the historical fabric of Calhoun County
and the tri-burg area. And now you know the rest of the story.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sat Feb 23, 2019 8:25 pm

Phil Libby.jpg
What year did Phil Libby get started?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sat Feb 23, 2019 9:26 pm

Grunda Fulpants took up with Phil in the same summer as the big volcano eruption.
According Grunda's diary and expenditure log, Phil purchased a Dick Smart Kick Start
in 1921. May 12, to be exact. We might assume he got things started shortly after
reading the operating instructions and installing the congruence modulator ?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:37 am

Phil did all the maintenance at the Chamber of Coments quarters when he wasn't attending to his arrow head collection. He and Grunda had five wonderful children who also stole things from Ma Fromberg's back porch. It was quite a sport and some believed Ma put things there on purpose just to get rid of them. Pa Fromberg was a hopeless pack-rat and had a basement full of five ball Kingstons and the like. Farrapuka, the eldest, became a model for Masterful Engineering Magazine during their girly days. Of course Wilson put an end to that with his magazine reforn program. In hind sight working at the rear view mirror factory in Piddlesberg would have bin a better choice.
Heinrich went to the Squamish tunament at Chugwater and came in sixth over the weekend. He's running out of room for trofies.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sun Feb 24, 2019 11:32 am

Pa Fromberg was certainly well known for collecting. After he died, everyone in town knew Ma would fill her back porch with all manner of items. She hoped neighborhood children and anyone else who cared to would "steal" them. By the time she passed away she had only cleared a narrow path in the basement, just enough to take out the clinkers. (Pa had also saved the clinkers). Kalamity Dick himself would often stop by and have a cup of burdock tea with Ma, then "high-grade" the basement collection for useful items, often hauling off a half ton or more of mechanical items. To this day, there's an antique store / boutique in Saddledtring called "Ma Frombrrg's Back Porch".

Good for Heinrich ! I hear Squamish Tuna-mints are becoming very popular. The players are treated to lavish servings of tuna casserole after the match, and handfuls of after-dinner mints to aid indigestion later.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Feb 24, 2019 1:28 pm

Cigar bands, hot sauce bottles, chalk board erasers, tooth brushes, Viewmaster disks and radio knobs were some of the items Dick left behind. Pa could see the possibilities but lacked the skill to put things together that Dick did. He disassembled hundreds of early brass cars. Had it not been for the war scrap drives he could have retired at Hershey. Farrapuka liked to solder the brass items together for sculptures. Flux was here middle name. The other museum still has her carbide generator statue of George Washington in the basement.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sun Feb 24, 2019 2:32 pm

Farrapuka was a sculptress of incredible vision. Born with natural 200/20 vision, she always wore thick glasses to reverse-correct to 20/20. She was never given recognition for her abilities as an artist, although none less than Gutzon Borglum consulted with her before he began work on Mt. Rushmore. His rendition of Washington bears all the earmarks of Farrapuka's acetylene generator image. At one point Borglum considered sheathing the entire Mt. Rushmore work in brass, something like the Statue of Liberty, but gave it up when the cost of 10,000 gallons of Brasso was figured into the project budget.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sun Feb 24, 2019 5:07 pm

The idea of tuna mints was hatched by none other than Felix Farquardt. He felt the spear and
peppermint flavors of after-meal breath candies clashed with the lingering flavors of the meal.
He developed an entire line of more conventionally flavored after-meal candies, tuna being just
one of many. Wood, liver, pork, onion were just a few of the favorites.

Heinrich has mentioned more than once his interest in competitive eating. He laments that
restrictive rules and arbitrary enforcement keep him from taking it seriously. In our last discussion,
he stated that his best effort in the mayonnaise eating trials, 27 pints in 3 hours, only placed him
6th. Straws are not allowed, and training must be done in the state where the athlete was born,
regardless of where they might live today. So, a person born in Deleware, must document all training
being done IN Delaware, even if said person lives in Oregon today. In another gripe, he said the
Crawford brothers dominate all catagories, even though they have been caught practicing with sand
on several occasions. He did say that straw use is being weighed by the commission for legal use in
competition for the 2020 season.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Feb 24, 2019 5:16 pm

I'm sure the commission will be fair. They all come from good families. Heinrich is often found in a different state.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sun Feb 24, 2019 5:42 pm

There is a separate commission for the Fair. Whether or not they ARE or will be fair, is
another matter. The investigative team is still looking into verification of the "good families"
claim. After 40 years of hard work, they revealed with overwhelming documentation and
evidence that everybody was NOT kung fu fighting, as the widely broadcast claims stated.
This new work will take some time.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sun Feb 24, 2019 6:44 pm

It's true. Many at the time were very opposed to what they reffered to as "kung-foolishness".
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Sun Feb 24, 2019 7:07 pm

After the fire in the county fair cannabis pavilion there were rumors that the kung-foolishness turned into bouts of high-karate.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:12 pm

A quick call to the Sunday hotline revealed that the work on committee member background
checks will either have to wait, or will require additional funding for more staff, as the current
team is still finalizing data on the legal fallout over false claims that the City was built on rock
and roll, as this so does not meet code or ANSI engineering standards. Things truly WERE better
when common sense and ethics, like those employed in Kalamity's day, were employed.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Mon Feb 25, 2019 1:21 am

If you have enough, those common cents add up to dollars.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Mon Feb 25, 2019 10:36 am

Irving Fletcher relates a story in his 1972 book: Numbers, and How We Count, that this whole
counting system we take for granted, was in fact, conjured up and developed by Phineas Pilaster
and a few others, when the State forced them to inventory the booze and elixirs sold at Ernie's.
It was slow going, but Tyrone Shoelace (visiting his sister Wumba from Chicago) was especially
slow in picking up the numbers in order, and being able to add them up. For no less than ten
years he practiced on the front steps of Ernies by counting the hairs on Kalamity Dick's Diablo
Perro. The whole town finally gave up on him and he was asked to return to Chicago on the
evening train. The books at Ernie's have remained suspect since.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Feb 25, 2019 11:26 am

Ernie's books were suspects for many years, and were arraigned on charges of public indecency on several occasions. They never were convicted, however, as Maddox Milhouse (distant relative of Cuthbert), Ernie's offensive attorney, easily proved they were indeed, adequately covered at all times.

As for Tyrone Shoelace, on his return to Chicago, he was immediately snapped up by the think-tank initiated by John Maynard Keynes, on an assumption that he was an accredited accountant. When asked what he did, he replied "I'm a-countin' ". He had returned to Chicago with the Diablo Perro. Dick reluctantly allowed him to take the animal with him as it was obvious the two had developed a strong bond. Few people today appreciate how the present state of our country's economic condition owes so much to Tyrone's incapacity with mathematics.

Back in Medicine Bow, Cuthbert loaned Ernie his best sheep-dog, "Ol' Shed" to help with the inventory, and from then on, things ran smoothly at the Saloon. Ol' Shed was quite adept at math, although most agree he did struggle a bit with calculus.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by mtntee20 » Mon Feb 25, 2019 1:43 pm

Old Shed proved to be the best sheep dog in Calhoun county at the time. His math skills obviously aided his herding abilities. As was stated, he was only fair at calculus but he was a complete failure at trigonometry. He couldn't draw a straight line with a ruler. Having a total lack of understanding concerning trigonometry, he never could figure out why the chicken crossed the road.

When it came to mousing and ratting, Shed would try his heart out but could never keep up with Dick's Diablo Perro. Now there was a vermin getter if I ever saw one.

Does anyone know if Grunda Fulpants took up with Phil because he wore that suave' hat or because they both could wear the same size pants?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Feb 25, 2019 2:07 pm

Terry, thank you for filling out that sketch of Ol' Shed with more details. It makes a lot of sense now. I always wondered what he was doing with that surveyor's transit and those pegs in the ground spanned with yellow cord. Shed solved the chicken problem simply by not allowing it anywhere near the road. About the time Dick allowed Tyrone Shoelace to take the Diablo Perro back east with him, Ma Fromberg's tiny Yorkshire Terrier, "Goliath" went missing. You don't suppose there's a connection ??

As for the Libbys, you must recall in those days, ladies simply did not wear pants. If you study Phil's sprightly pose, you'll note it indicates just how light on his feet he was. Phil Libby was a tremendous dancer, and that's partly what Grunda found immediately attractive. Coupled with his manly good looks, and the fact that he was of excellent character and a good provider, when Phil at last proposed, that sealed the deal for her.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:25 pm

Grunda fulpants did wear the pants in the family. Grunda did wear Phil's pants once in a while but she told him he would never get into her pants!


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Feb 25, 2019 7:51 pm

:o Dallas, that can't be right - if that were the case, then where did those five wonderful Libby kids come from ? :o
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Feb 25, 2019 8:12 pm

I can't let another Birthday go by without mentioning Glen Glenn. Glen ran the "Safe and Sound" Terminal Cafe. It was nestled between Ernie's and the gymnasium until the flood. He also supplied fresh fruit for the snack bar at the marina. Here we see the gang inspecting some vomit. They suspected the valve seals were being smuggled out in short the cake.
TerminalC.jpg
When did I do that?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Mon Feb 25, 2019 9:30 pm

The Calhoun County Quick Response Vomit Inspection Team were kept quite busy through
those years on account of the undulating curves. Feck Feckler turned the first one up while
plowing his north field. Within a year they were hauling them out on the railroad and monthly
sales grossed almost double the amount originally estimated by Tyrone Shoelace, in his annual
report to the Commission, which, by the way, numbered only 12 on the off-season.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Mon Feb 25, 2019 9:44 pm

Grunda wore a mighty big pair of pantaloons. She ordered them from a catalogue and
townfolk still say they looked like a schooner's sails when hung out on the line. Whatever
credits Grunda lacked in feminine mystique, people said she was a sweet talkin' mama,
with a face like a gent.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Feb 25, 2019 10:21 pm

They didn't call it the Terminal Cafe for nothin'. Grandpa Larkvonnet ate his last meal there . . . as did a number of transients who availed themselves of the free soup kitchen in the alley behind the cafe. Calhoun County Sheriff Huck Shurtliff tried many times to close the cafe on the grounds that it was a public nuisance, but it was so popular with travelers bound for Chugwater the health dept. turned a blind ear to his complaints. Locals will remember the advertising sign that was posted in the train station lobby:
"Eat at the Terminal Cafe - right across the street - the food ain't good, but there's lots of it ! "
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Tue Feb 26, 2019 1:36 am

Glen Glenn operated the Terminal Cafe as a tourist stop under the assumed name of Felix
Fuzbottom for those riding the Union Pacific stage. See the "Overland Route" sign over the
door ? The Terminal Cafe had actually been declared an official "depot" for the stage.

As for the food, Cyrus Van Schlootenburgtonvilleswell said Felix's motto was "What we lack
in quality, we make up for in volume", adding that Felix could make roadkill taste like animals
killed along the highway, always aiming to hold himself to a standard of "not that bad". He
was often heard saying "If you go away hungry, it must be because you don't want to get sick".
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Tue Feb 26, 2019 1:46 am

Felix was also well known for his Happy Sally marinated Possum stew with wild mushroom and caper sauce.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Wed Feb 27, 2019 6:17 pm

Screenshot_20190227-181110_Samsung Internet.jpg
This just in! This was found in Austraila! Could it be from Kalamity Dicks tool kit? How did it wind up at the bottom of the world? So many queztions!


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Wed Feb 27, 2019 7:56 pm

The wrench is probably from Kalamity Dick's foray into the Outback of Australia, when he was trying to market Kangaroo meat as the answer to the invasion of tacos and hotdogs in the American diet and everyone knew that before you could grill the Kangaroos you had to remove the attaching hardware and adjustable wrenches allowed for easy work on various sizes of roos.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Wed Feb 27, 2019 10:40 pm

Speaking of outback. These two guys are out back behind this car. I wonder what they are up to?
guys by car.jpg


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Thu Feb 28, 2019 2:28 am

That's Bunch Hereford and Hiro Gliddy, longtime jailers in Chugwater. Note the jail bars
and gallows in the background. Many perished at the hands of these two for offenses as
minor as doing that one thing or possession of stuff. Although, to be fair, few got away with
doing that one thing, even then.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by mtntee20 » Thu Feb 28, 2019 7:26 am

That must be the 001 Chugwater Patrol car and not the 001A Paddy wagon since there are no bars on the windows. What a rare photo this is.

Badges? They don't need no stinkin' badges.

Hang 'em high or hang 'em low....Just hang 'em and get it over. The boys worked for the "Hanging Judge" Judge Nudge McGrudder. Not a man you want to have sitting in front of you. That's why the Pastor made him sit in the back pew for Sunday Services. Guess who had the ultimate control in Chugwater?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Feb 28, 2019 8:31 am

pidgeon car.jpg
I just don't know what to think of this photo. I think it was taken during the parakeet shortage, they had to make do with what they had. Probably during the war when tires were hard to get also. Those were hard times.

Do you recognize the occupants?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Feb 28, 2019 9:37 am

Herb, this photo is a tremendous find. Sebastian has been looking through the Institute files for years for a copy. This shows the Helgemandolar twins en route on their first and only trans-continental flight in 1900. The twin brothers, Branaman and Scrimshaw collaborated on this unique hovercraft made of wicker, and powered by a flock of pigeons, shown here, resting and feeding in a field near Chugwater before resuming the cross-country journey.

The brothers took off from Atlantic City, New Jersey on April Fool's Day, 1900, and arrived in Hollywood, California on July 15 (St. Swithin's Day) that same year. Their first prototype craft initially employed parakeets for speed and comfort, but they found pigeons had more stamina and endurance for the long haul, and besides, they could eat anything. The craft hovered between 12 to 20 feet above ground, with an air speed of 25 knots.

Although the brothers were first to claim sustained flight in a heavier-than-air craft, they never received the recognition they were due. There was too much negative response to the trail they left on their journey. Unsympathetic wags termed it "the great white way" and their accomplishment was soon forgotten. Besides, few were able to master training flocks of pigeons, so their theories and principles were unpopular among early aviators.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Thu Feb 28, 2019 11:06 am

Let's not forget the fuel leak issue, as seen in this photo. They were deep into the
journey when Branaman discovered Scrimshaw was leaving the pigeon valve open
when the hovercraft was not in flight and all the pigeons would leak out. This is where
KD and the finer cut of Calhoun County people came to the rescue, offering up an NOS
B-Valve to the brothers, along with complimentary installation in the alley behind Ma
Fromberg's place.

As a side note, KD pulled in the help of some of the Klammitboffers to rapidly devise
a combination pigeon scoop and funnel, for spill recovery and remediation. They then
went to work on an exhaust catcher, but scheduling required the flight push on before
they perfected a scrubber

Also, note the number "11" on the bonnet. It appears the cross country flight was made
with one of the racing fleet machines the brothers fielded for the 1899 season.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Feb 28, 2019 8:20 pm

There is such a wealth of information on this forum!


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Fri Mar 01, 2019 12:44 am

So true, Herb. Between photo diggers, researchers at the Institute, and our
own array of BS miners, a sketchy narrative can be factualized as fast as KD's
Diablo Perro could chomp down a slice of Ma Fromberg's raisin pie.

Has anyone else ever noticed the way a dog can eat an entire hamburger in
three seconds and never make contact with the pickle ?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Mar 01, 2019 4:34 am

I can see in this photo that the dog isn't remotely interested in the pickle barrel.
pickle barrel.JPG


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Fri Mar 01, 2019 11:34 am

Awesome photo of Phineas Pilaster's glowing dog ! Phineas left the dog in the store overnight
and returned to discover he had eaten a whole bag of radioactive dust. He glowed like a backlit
light fixture for the rest of his life.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by mtntee20 » Fri Mar 01, 2019 9:24 pm

That's Roscoe, Phineas' glowing dog. Just think about how much money Phineas saved NOT having to purchase kerosene for the lamps, later, batteries for the flashlights, and electricity for night lights. When the counterfeit spam required a midnight trip to the outhouse, Phineas would take Roscoe with him. He had light to see and protection from anything out there.

But, glowing isn't all it's cracked up to be. After spending 8 years in the Navy's nuclear power program, I can totally identify with Roscoe. Going to bed at night, my wife tells me to turn off the light. I tell her the light IS off. She tells me to pull the covers over my head so she can go to sleep.

Phineas once tried to see through a can of spam by putting it on Roscoe and waiting for the illumination. Too bad the tin was too thick a blocked just enough of the radiation to prevent any fluoroscope effect. If that had worked, it would have been a simple, sure-fire detection for the counterfeit spam.

Roscoe could sure scare the bejeebers out of the children on Halloween night. Talk about looking like a ghost dog. He would chase them around until they dropped their bags of candy and ran off. Then it was smorgasbord time for Roscoe. Everything was fine except the candy wrappers leaving a dark spot in his belly. That spot would disappear in a day or two after Roscoe would pass the wrappers. But, the wrappers would glow in the dark for a few days afterward.


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sat Mar 02, 2019 1:04 pm

There was (and remains) a lot of fascinating things going on in Calhoun County. In 1921,
Chugwater's inventor extraordinaire was contracted to build an experimental array for the
Fecklersburg Whatzit Authority. Work began down by the river, and by summer, electrical
supply lines were nearing completion to the Upper Terrace. The FWA had just finished the
Sumpumpler Dynomometer Facility, but research was still in its infancy stage on combining
audio to the video portions. In this photo, just unearthed by Heinrich's uncle, Count Fritz von
Hooligan Katznow, we see KD tying in the tap lines for the Schleiter-Duntov machine, being
installed at the SDF. KD's company-issued Overland runabout is seen below. He liked to take
breaks on the half and quarter hour to go down to the corner and oversee his new coffee shop
franchise, called Starfunks, a contraction name of his mother's name Star and his favorite
adventurer, Ferdinand (Ferd) Funkbunkler).

KDwires.jpg

The Count was visiting Heinrich from the old country, as he has always done every January,
to deliver the accounting rolls and state-of-affairs statement that Heinrich administers in
absentia, for his father, Prince Oeilielu Tiilikitivoos Wombat. They removed an old car from
the basement and discovered boxes of data in a hidden vault beneath.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Sat Mar 02, 2019 6:18 pm

Stirling Funkledecker, KD's cousin from Fossberg North Dakota also worked on the connecting crew for those power lines. He seemed to really do well until he was discovered to be connecting AC wires to the DC circuits. They finally gave him an early retirement because of his Bi-polar disorder.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Mar 02, 2019 6:55 pm

I had no idea Heinrich is royalty from the old country. Is that why Sebastian often addresses him as "Your Wonderfulness" ?

Even more amazing is the picture of KD working aloft as a lineman. Everyone knew he was deathly afraid of heights, even to the point of lowering the suspension on his raceabout. Most folks reckoned he was going for a low-slung, speedy performance advantage, but the truth is that he would often get a nosebleed climbing into the driver's seat of a stock Model T. I wonder how he was able to overcome his phobia in order to perform this marvel of electrical engineering for the FWA ? Another mystery: it was reported in the original thread on the 20218 forum that KD was essentially "allergic" to electricity and avoided dealing wit it - hence the patent he developed for kerosene turn signals.

KD's cousin Stirling was reputed to have been wired wrong from birth, doubtless the reason he was able to connect AC and DC circuits at random. He was able to lead an abnormal life in spite of this anomaly.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sat Mar 02, 2019 7:39 pm

I think people today underestimate KD's drive to deliver. While I see nothing in period
newspaper write ups saying there is a connection, KD is known to have dabbled in nasal
spackles and synthetic mind clouding fogs. Both could have been used to counter his fears
and allergies. Another possibility could have been KD's hyperbaric equalizer. He ultimately
made one so small it fit under his hat.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sat Mar 02, 2019 8:08 pm

Of course, Heinrich is royalty. The bejeweled crown isn't a dead giveaway ?

Speaking of, Heinrich sent over another shot of the Fecklersburg Whatzit
Authority project. He says a note attached reads:

"Platform built for opera presentation at christening celebration"

He is digging for more information on this event. Perhaps others here have
old photos or newspaper clippings ?

KDwire2.jpg
Is the fence seen here to keep the maurading bands of rabipillars from getting
in to town ?

caterpillar.jpg
caterpillar.jpg (51.42 KiB) Viewed 28204 times
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