OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

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Rich Eagle
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jun 04, 2019 8:49 am

Hmmm, doesn't say how it affects worms. Unless I'm mistaken that's Cuthbert Maddox (center) there to have his bronco mule attended to by the boys. No, that team was seldom outdone of the BB court. Harvey, on the farrest left, attended the Seattle School of Darning for three semesters without injury. Thanks for reminding me.
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And thanks Wayne. I've missed hearing that wonderful poetry for way too long.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:40 am

KDdelivery.jpg
Heinrich sent along this photo Mairo St. Albers' delivery rig on the old road to Fecklersburg.
Mairo bought the old stage delivery service from Cozza van Horn's widow, after the shamrock
incident, and supplied local residents with goods from the railroad depot to all points between
Chugwater and Silver Plume. The delivery hack wore the same advertising for Hanford's Balsam,
as well as hauling in both worms and syrup to the Bumstead factory, and hauling out the finished
product to the depot for national delivery. No local advertising was needed for worm syrup, as
Hiram Schlitzendorff (owner of the poon mill at Saddlestring) had won the election, running on
the ticket of "A bottle of worm syrup in every pocket !", paying for it all out of his own pocket.
Residents still enjoy their free bottle and the trust Hiram set up.

As an aside, Mairo was deeply committed to the unification of Czechoslovakia and Mexico as
a single country, even composing the Chexican National Anthem on the kazoo, that was a standard
for the Clerd Fynklebytner Kazoo Band for decades, and remains a crowd favorite. Mexico and
Czechoslovakia never were united, but the song lives on as a lasting memory of a man and his
patriotic dream.
More people are doing it today than ever before !

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jun 04, 2019 12:47 pm

"THE SHAMROCK INCIDENT!!!" I thought we vowed not to speak of it.
Shocked.
Rich

P.S., Nice photo.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Tue Jun 04, 2019 1:23 pm

Back to the group photo in the doorway of the old blacksmith shop, that is indeed Cuthbert Maddox at center. Interesting photo, as it shows as well Cuthbert's estranged brother Waldorf (in the derby hat) by his side. This was the only time Waldorf came west for a visit, hoping to make amends to Cuthbert for his part in the "Shamrock Incident". Of course, we cannot divulge any details, having been sworn to secrecy. The occasion was the spring shoeing of the zebra dun mule, an undertaking which required three men, a block and tackle, and a fifth of Happy Sally. The bronc mule did not like having his feet hammered on, but would become reasonably docile under the influence of Cuthbert's favorite tipple, permitting application of the heroic mechanical restraints the job required. Cuthbert always attempted to reason with the mule, convincing him it was all "for his own good". The mule was attentive and apparently understood, as he stood quietly for trimming, but sheer terror would always overwhelm his reason as soon as the farrier began to drive a nail.

The photo is of particular interest, as the farrier (the young man at the left of the group) is Charlemagne ("Charley") Stroschlap, eldest son of Binford Stroschlap of "Precision Machine and Ox-shoeing Journal" fame.

As for "Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh", since its introduction in 1846, it continues to be a superlative remedy for cuts, abrasions and sore muscles, truly "good for man and beast". Interestingly, the State of California prohibits its sale, no doubt fearing adverse competition with medical marijuana ?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jun 04, 2019 2:58 pm

Thanks Rich. I had not realized that was the same event as when Waldorf was out. It seems like just yesterday. (Maybe it still is). There is quite a family resemblance I must admit.
That may be little Stevie on the right who used to steal marbles from good old Nimrod.
Weren't those the days.
Back to the garden.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Tue Jun 04, 2019 4:49 pm

Later generations often fail to realize just how frequent were the interactions of noteworthy folks "back in the day", and how so many who shaped the modern world as we have come to abandon it often crossed paths. I'm not 100% certain of the identification, but I am reasonably sure that is indeed little Stevie Holleranger who tormented poor Nimrod through their grammar school days. He would steal Nimrod's marbles, and then tease him by saying Nimrod had "lost his marbles". In spite of his sadistic bent, he was very popular in school, and the other kids would join in, making fun of Nimrod. Difficult as his school days were, it's no wonder Nimrod took to the distiller's trade later on. Meanwhile, few know that Stevie's fascination with marbles led him in later years to pioneer a system of ball-bearings which he began making from the cache of marbles he had stolen as a youngster. The races were fashioned from native "mountain mahogany". The bearings worked poorly and did not hold up well, but he refused to abandon glass and agate spheres running in wooden races, which led to dissolution of the partnership he had formed with another young man whose name was not mentioned in the Institute's record of the short-lived venture. However, indications are the un-named partner continued on, making ball-bearings of hardened steel parts, proclaiming his new company and the improvements he made were a "New Departure" from previous unsuccessful methods.

Ah, I see by the clock on the wall that it still is yesterday . . . I had better post some letters before the deadline approaches !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Wed Jun 05, 2019 1:52 am

Something about the "Shamrock Incident" triggered memories of a morning when the dew was on the clover. I'm sure it will come to me, but right now the kettle is whistling and I need to brew some tea. Why is the hose turned on and laying on the driveway and has anybody seen my spectacles?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jun 05, 2019 2:46 am

For just a moment, I thought that read slightly different, and my mind ran ahead to
musing "Why would he ask THAT ?" and laughing pretty hard on the suggestion than any
of us had seen them !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jun 05, 2019 10:29 am

Even more Impressive than "Man Without Burlap" was this movie offering. Sebastian thought with the Holiday next month we should share this poster.
Swithins.jpg
The extreme celebrations at Ernie's with free Happy Sally supplied by the distillery that Kalamity helped maintain often proved overpowering. Birthdays on the Saint's day were much to make merry of.

"Be careful out there"

Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jun 05, 2019 10:46 am

Man Without Burlap will forever be my favorite movie, simply for my love of burlap
and the fact that no films have dared touch the subject in a meaningful way. However,
St. Swithens Day Massacre promises to be every bit a classic of it's own.

The scene where those two guys are doing that one thing is the most compelling
of any film ever made involving a duck AND a bagel, a six point star, and a pontoon
boat, especially on 24mm, and twice as much for the weight.

The trailer quote nailed it: "Never more truth that by far the same"
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:55 pm

Yes, all that and more. I must thank Sebastian for finding this. He said the Birthday theme was important as this is that of one of the volunteers at the Institute. However he wouldn't tell me which one.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! who ever you are.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Wed Jun 05, 2019 2:17 pm

I'll drink to that !! In fact, I'll drink to most anything, any time ! Some say I have a problem, but I never take more than an ounce of Happy Sally, and only at supper-time (medicinal purposes only). The hip flask I carry is only for snake bite. Oooops ! Time to feed the snake. More later . . .
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Wed Jun 05, 2019 2:42 pm

Rich said "Get a horse"

One of Kalamity's cohorts was Kid Sheleen, he already had a horse.
Lee Marvin Kid Sheleen.jpg


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Wed Jun 05, 2019 4:38 pm

Thanks for posting that, Herb ! I hope some of the other volunteers from the Institute will regale us with tales of "The Kid's" many adventures with and without KD. Sheleen sure could put away the Happy Sally ! That picture is worth a good horse-laugh, whether you have a horse or not !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Wed Jun 05, 2019 7:00 pm

Little known fact about the Kid. Kalamity got his idea for the rear view mirror on his raceabout from the Kids horse. See the kids horse was not energetic at all. That and the horse being up in years , the kid wondered at times if he had just passed on standing there. The kid had the local Chugwater harness maker fabricate a bit with extensions on each side and an arm toward the front. To this the Kid mounted a small mirror. Most that seen this misunderstood the purpose as did KD. See the mirror was not to see behind the horse but for the Kid to see if it steamed up. If it steamed the horse was still breathin. I think that old horse outlived the Kid. The mirror also had another unintended use that worked in the Kids favor. When the Kid had too much Happy Sally the horse could see him leaning in the saddle and find something for the Kid to leen on. Hence the photo above. I wish I could remember the horses name.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jun 05, 2019 10:09 pm

This might be bringing up a sore subject for a few oldtimers around Calhoun County. See,
the horse's name was Edmund Fitzgerald. And this is where the trouble started.

Edmund Fitzgerald became pretty famous for taking care of the inebriated Kid Sheelan, which
happened with some regularity. Twin Brothers Don and Dorace Hodge were shipbuilders on upper
Chugwater Lake until a drunken row drove the elder to begin his own operations on Lake Saddlestring.
But both had taken notice of the horse, and in a spiteful competition, each built a ship for hauling
milk ore and mushroom moss, ... both naming their ship "Edmund Fitzgerald".

Because Dorace had remained tight with KD, because of their mutual interest in two-wheeled
winter travel, he was able to employ a three turbine, reverse pitch kaphistulator in the ship's
thrombulatory wave modulator, giving his shop the distinct navigational and propulsion advantage,
thusly winning the lion's share of the traffic. Don broke down his ship on Johnson's Bar and moved
it piece-by-piece to Duluth, where he reassembled it to use hauling iron ore.
More people are doing it today than ever before !

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jun 06, 2019 12:12 pm

"Reverse Pitch"? How novel?

This from the "heterogeneous" bin. Doesn't say which Lake.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jun 06, 2019 6:22 pm

For obvious reasons, Heinrich has never looked in the heterogeneous bin. On rare occasions, he delegated a search in the bin to Sebastian, who in turn had Bartholomew do it for him. (Bart has no scruples on the subject). I, myself, have never had occasion to peruse its contents, so I am delighted to see this photo of Theophilus Sheleen, "The Kid's" eldest brother. I'm not quite sure how this one made it into the heterogeneous bin, there is no mistaking the orientation of the comely lasses in the picture, and Theophilus cuts a decidedly manly figure, in spite of his bathing attire. His hand is placed lovingly on the shoulder of his bride, Sheba Sheleen (nee Shalimar). It appears she is a little annoyed at her husband, he is in the bathing suit she wanted to wear that day. Her sister Shelley is at far left, holding the oar, and the lady in the center is Theophilus' sister Shenandoah. Their parents had a penchant for awkward names. Story has it their father actually was upbraided by the midwife for choosing to name his firstborn Theophilus; Pops Sheleen gave his reason by stating "That's Theophilus lookin' kid I ever seed." One can only speculate what Kid Sheleen's Christian name was, as he never revealed it. An aside, the children of Theophilus and Sheba never attempted to talk until they were well over six years of age. The reason being, the surfeit of "shhhhhh !" sounds when they were in the presence of the womenfolk in the family. Life can be strange, but we often make it stranger. To think this was taken only last summer !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jun 06, 2019 7:24 pm

Well, perhaps the caption was written years ago and at that time it was the recent Summer. Not to imply this last Summer i.e. 2018 as of this posting. The photo seems to have some age to it and being quite grainy and in black and white I would say it was taken perhaps in the late teens or early twenties. 1910s or 1920s that is. Not their ages although some might could be in their twenties but certainly not their teens unless of course it was their very late teens. That could be a possibility. At any rate those folks would hardly be alive or at the very least looking that young in 2018 although the Sheleens did live into their later years for the most part except for Garth but it was pretty much his own fault as they say. This is regarding your latter comment "To think this was taken only last summer !" and not to be picky but just my interpretation of what I see.
Thanks and hope you understand.
Rich


Can you tell which lake it is?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:24 pm

Gosh, is my face red ! Not only because the buffer wheel was over-loaded with rouge (I've been polishing the thermobaffle bushings on the first model kaphistulator I'm restoring) but because of this fox-paws over the approximate date of which "last summer" the note on the photo was referring to. I must apologize; I tend to identify with the era of the items and histories I'm currently working on, and in my intense concentration, completely forgot it's 2019, not 1919. Sort of my own, personal, "mental time-machine" if you will. Thanks, Rich, for explaining those early teen, late twenties differences . . . or were they late teen, early twenties ?? I can sort of recall being that young once myself ! Any road, Bartholomew is pretty certain the photo was taken on Chugwater Lake before they re-filled the swamp.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:53 pm

Gents, I hate to add more rouge to your embarrassment, but we must remember that
Calhoun County residents voted to cancel summer during the war years to conserve resources
for the war effort. Thusly, "last summer" had to date before or after the conservation decree.
I don't have those dates at hand right now, but if memory serves, it was enacted after the
Uvula League's annual Recitation of the Postash Agreement and before the Chugwater Regatta,
and rescinded after Hugh G. Rexion came home from the war.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jun 07, 2019 8:39 am

Good point Burger. I had nearly forgotten that. And here we have a photo of the Uvula League officers at the Regatta.
KD at right and the skipper atop the vessel were not officers.
For those old car enthusiasts visiting the Off- Topic site, the searchlamp perched affront the cabin appears to be a Rushmore 701.
Leaguexx.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Jun 07, 2019 6:36 pm

Wonderful photo. I, too, had forgotten that summer was suspended during the war years. Pretty bleak, overall. I'm pretty sure that's Cuthbert Maddox to the left of the flag. He wasn't an Uvula League officer either, but had a part interest in that sleek craft in the picture. Cuthbert wanted to christen it "Happy Sally", but the other owners felt that naming it after a well-known hard liquor (with an unsavory reputation) was not "seemly". They compromised by naming it "Happy Day", clearly visible behind Mount Rushmore . . . er, I mean, the mounting that incorporated the search-light.

The fellow next to Cuthbert is Benteen Codswollop, the only male member of the Uvula League. Most of the documentation of his biographical material is in the heterogeneous bin. Fistula Codsollop, his sister, is the lady in the plaid skirt holding the umbrella. She shamelessly pursued KD for many years, but KD never returned her advances.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jun 07, 2019 10:34 pm

On closer look, it could be Cuthbert.
Thanks
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Jun 09, 2019 1:32 am

KDriver.jpg
Not a lot of story here. Just a panoramic shot of the Upper Chugwater near Richford.
The Chugwater & Northern tracks cross the river on the "new" bridge, the original being
swept away when a mushroom moss raft jammed in the pilings, turned sideways, and
backed the river up until the pressure tore the whole thing loose and carried it all the
way to Lake Chugwater. The year was 1918. Rail traffic was kept moving by a swift thinking
Kalamity Dick, who, when consulted by RR Supt. Urquardt Voolenschnurt, adapted a shoo-
-fly projector to get the trains across the missing section of track until the new bridge could
be placed, using the giant kaphistulator shown at riverside in an earlier post.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Mon Jun 10, 2019 12:31 am

"Only for snake bites"
"Just for medicinal purposes"
"Time to feed the snakes"
rattle snakes.JPG
It seems you were right on earlier Richard.

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

The Happy Sally Or the snake bite?
I don't know for sure but I have heard that rattle snake tastes like chicken.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:46 am

As it turns out it's chicken that tastes like rattlesnake. Looks like they are having a ball.
As for the giant kaphistulator, it was a Model 701CC-KD501 with the castellated forespring as I recall.
More later.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:44 am

As it turns out, whenever anyone suffered a snake bite, both Kalamity Dick and Cuthbert would offer a sip of Happy Sally to the snake as well. You can't be too careful, they found !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:32 pm

A kind gesture and they really don't drink that much.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Mon Jun 10, 2019 3:41 pm

I know it has been said before, but there is a wealth of knowledge on this forum not found any where else on earth!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Jun 10, 2019 10:02 pm

So true. I have learned SO MUCH about nothing since queuing into this thread, and
am being forced to throw meaningful information "overboard" to make room for all
this solid intel.

Heinrich came by on a run to the sourdough smelter and we had a few moments to
farkle through the trunk of values. It is such a pleasure to see how excited he can
become when he finds a photo that he has background information on. With the recent
discovery of the backstory on the collaboration between KD and Mickey Mousetrap
(from Floatbowl, Florida) on their brief exploration and promotion of two-wheel winter
travel, Heinrich reports that Mickey and his twin brother Mookey opened a dealership
on First Avenue to sell motorcycles to the expected rush. He believes this photo shows
the inventory just as they opened their doors. Note that they had not had time yet to
put up the storefront sign.

KDmc.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:31 am

Actually, that looks like the Charter Members of Heck's Angels just before they took out on a ride to the Happy Sally distillery.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Jun 11, 2019 3:16 am

You could be right ....

Heinrich says he is just starting to unearth details of this venture, and record keeping
was a bit sloppy ....
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jun 11, 2019 3:26 am

Excelsior was ecstatic when the brothers expressed interest in their motorcycles. A boxcar load of the 61 cu in (1,000 cc) Model BigX's were sent on consignment the following May. Mickey and Mookey could have done very well had the Angels not adopted the agency as their club house and marshmallowing hangout. A nicer pair of fellows but not assertive enough to calm the quell. Misses Mousetrap had been the stunt-woman for Geraldine Farrar in "Guns Across the Choteau" ( the early version).
MnM.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Tue Jun 11, 2019 7:50 am

With the fellows grinning like that I wonder if they forgot to install the seats when they assembled the bikes! :shock: :shock:
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Tue Jun 11, 2019 9:24 am

Re/ throwing information overboard, I see the KD saga spilling over into the regular discussion page. Just to clarify, that is indeed Cuthbert Maddox with his little dog Bowser, standing at the rear fender of the early Model T. The picture commemorated owner Phineas Mousse's trip from Fleabite, Wisconsin to Medicine Bow in the spring of 1915. The picture was taken in front of Ernie's Saloon before the big fire. Also of interest, the two figures seated in front of the saloon in the background are Slug Spaydaford and his side-kick, Hobart "Rat" Bartleby (fellow on the left).
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Jun 11, 2019 10:30 am

Rat Bartleby was the first person in Calhoun County to have his neck removed.
The fashion of having one's head sitting squarely on their shoulders did not last
very long, but Rat was always seen as a pioneer in the movement.

The Heck's Angels sure did tear up society back in the day, didn't they ? The
horrors ! ☠︎
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Tue Jun 11, 2019 9:33 pm

Funny you should bring up Rat Bartleby having his neck removed. There was this un-explained photo found inside the pages of the ledger found in the old barbershop in Chugwater:
draw knife.JPG
Could that be Rat or perhaps Mickey Mousetrap?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Tue Jun 11, 2019 9:42 pm

After this photo he was forever know as One Ear Rat.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Wed Jun 12, 2019 5:39 pm

Once again, careful research reveals how these tidbits of history are so inextricably intertwined in their details. A few readers wrote in to say how they scoffed at the unlikely surname "Mousetrap" as it appeared in reference to the Excelsior dealing brothers, Mickey and Mookie, stating they were tempted to dismiss the entire post as nothing more than a frivolous play on Mr. Disney's ever-present rodent character. However, researching a previous post which mentioned Phineas Mousse's trip from Fleabite, Wisconsin to Medicine Bow provided family histories which revealed that Phineas' great aunt Minnie Mousse had married a Florida land speculator name of Inkom Trapp. Minnie was a "blue-stocking" and an ardent early-day feminist suffragette who refused to change her name to her huband's. She insisted on hyphenating her surname to reflect marriage to Mr. Trapp. The children of their union then became known as Hermione and Toulouse Mousse-Trapp respectively. Toulouse was the father of Mickey and Mookey, who early on found the French spelling, hyphen and extra capital T bothersome, and so upon coming of age, they chose to be legally known as the Mousetrap brothers. They were notable for capitalizing on their unusual moniker, probably best-known was the slogan they used to promote their motorcycle dealership : "A better Mousetrap can set an Excelsior at your door !"

(thanks to Basil for compiling this information together while Sebastian was busy untangling snakes down at the pit).
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:53 am

Mickey and Mookey, AKA Mookey and Mickey, probably enjoyed board-track racing as much as selling the Excelsior itself. Their Father Toulouse, AKA Too-loose, was a strict, almost mean man who always expected more. Victor Borge retold the indecent of him asking Mookey as a youngster;
"Mousetrap (he always used their last name) how old are you?"
"5"
"Shame on you Moustrap, when I was your age I was 10."
BrosM.jpg
At any rate the leather colanders were inspired by Cuthbert Maddox in true "Somewhere East of Laramie" fame.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jun 13, 2019 3:14 pm

This cable just in from Heinrich:
The Nephew's Borgward is no longer for sale
Stop
Thanks to all who expressed interest
Stop
The other entanglement resulted in several bites
Stop
Required q quart and a half
Can't Stop

What ever that means.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Jun 14, 2019 3:48 pm

Nigel Incubator Throatwarbler Mangrove was a Brit who came to Chugwater in 1901.
A friend of Kalamity Dick, by way of similar interests in tinkering and inventing, the
two shared ideas and theory, but remained at odds over Mangrove's insistence on using
British currency as the standard.

In 1912, the infamous Shyster McGrew had sold a large lot of wild deer fawns to local
dairymen and ranchers as bovine calves, before fleeing town under a cover of heavy fog,
with Sheriff Wild Bill Deeptrouble hot on his trail.

Mangrove, seeing a need, applied Gutenarian physics and French "Temblar Biologique"
to a cross between a livestock feed chute and a moonshine still, and came up with the
celebrated "Preston's Famous Cow Detector". Seen here at the Calhoun County Fair in
1925, Mangrove's invention was still in hot demand by a befuddled public. In spite of
demanding payment in pounds sterling, sales were strong. By this time, Mangrove had
added the feature of being able to detect whole herds from single cows.

In 1930, Mangrove and KD combined the cow detection system into a vestibule of black
walnut with birdseye maple inlays that made national news. This unit was preserved as
a benchmark in technological and architectural design and now resides as a centerpiece
of American history in the Smithsonian.

As an interesting sidenote, the name "Preston" came to be as a fluke misprint/misunderstanding,
when Mangrove placed his original printing order. The operator taking the order heard
Mangrove turn and say to his wife "What is all this bovine excrement about 'press one for
English' about ?" The operator typed in "Preston" as shorthand for "pressed one" and the rest
is history.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jun 14, 2019 11:17 pm

There was a Charles Preston that taught Algebra at Beaver Crossing. Probably no relation.
I am truly thrilled you brought up the cow detector subject. If we look at page 351 of the manual the Temblar influence can readily be seen. Just to the right of paraglam marked G we see the thrust plain that Dick and Nigel deemed necessary for full lifter bilth. As with the early confabulators continuity is hard to abstain to therefore trionic flux can't be accurately measured. Van Bockle described it as whimful blarking. Perhaps wishful thinking but not always so obvious. At any rate it cause simultaneous cabulation on the back thrust.
Down on the pilford side (marked "Q" left to right) the splines do not line up.
When Mangrove came to Chugwater this was often on his mind. If you jump to page 372 you can see the difference.
Of coarse Kalamity Dick had been all through this with Wilfred on the first go round so he chuckled much as you and I can now. Oh, to know now what we knew then, right?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:34 am

This is a picture of Charlie the Algebra teacher just before he retired. The story I was told is that he just couldn't take it any more and was into three quarts of Happy Sally before school every morning!

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1922 Coupe & 1927 Touring

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:36 am

I want to ask about that stack of pancakes in the machine. Are they used as a filter?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Jun 15, 2019 8:36 am

Professor Preston was exhibiting sines of madness while cosineing for a loan.
What you suggest as a stack of pancakes are the ventriculator coils of the Hasbrak flindrill. By scklooping viltrig conspastics in a counter flacktual apathy nearly all the coagulants are repedified. Any Bicopulist will tell you four shunts are required but a stack of 10 give nearly 6 times the outneach.
Thanks for asking, Perry. Others have inquired also.

Not to be confused with Charles Preston the stunt double in "Man without Burlap, the Seclusion Years".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Jun 15, 2019 10:22 am

Worth noting, KD's collaboration with Nigel Mangrove precipitated Cuthbert Maddox's losing interest in working closely with KD. It began with his difficulty understanding Nigel's British accent and partly it was owing to his lack of understanding of highly complex systems and his rudimentary work habits. KD was often heard to say about Cuthbert, "Wrench for a hammer, pliers for a wrench, hammers everything else. Just don't seem to make much difference, I sure do like him, but he's hard on equipment."

Another aspect was Cuthbert's scorn for the "cow detector" project. He could see abolutely no purpose or sense in it. He had a good cow dog he called Brute, and a little cutting horse he named Morwenna, and if a cow hung up in deep brush or hid in the willows, between them they never failed to find where they were hiding. There was no actual parting of the ways, however, and Cuthbert and KD kept in touch regularly and remained lifelong friends.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jun 17, 2019 12:47 pm

This photo of Cuthberty and KD was taken just after the Jazzberry Carnival which followed the 41st Annual Regatta. Way to much excitement, drinking, pun contests and of coarse the cow tossing. We see them here just relaxing on the lake with a case of Happy Sally. Memories of time with the Miss Harry and Hercules, Diddle, Hooey and Yahooey were still dancing in their hangover. Talking of old times, guilderflukes, flackerpoths and world peace. Little expecting the impending explosion at the mill.
DicknCuth.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Jun 17, 2019 1:42 pm

Rich, thank you again for posting yet another of the invaluable photos of the two friends. As previously noted, the pornograph section of my confutor has been permanently disabled, and though Heinrich and Sebastian have sent many historic photos from the files for me to authenticate, I am as yet unable to post them here.

This interlude was one of the most satisfying occasions when Kalamity and Cuthbert had a chance to reminisce, and catch up on one another's projects. In fact, both greatly enjoyed catchup on the buttermilk and anchovie sandwiches KD had brought along for the lake cruise. It was entirely unknown to the pair that Little, a mutual friend whom neither had seen or heard from in decades, was expecting an explosion at the mill. When the mill blew up, several of the workers were thrown well into the middle of the lake. KD and Cuthbert were unable to take them all aboard in their steam powered launch, as it was strictly a two-man occupancy boat, but a fortunate happenstance of their mutual creativity saved the day nonetheless. Examining the boiler return evaporator on the steam launch, Cuthbert opined that minor re-routing of tubing and the addition of a soup can would serve as a secondary distiller. The obvious purpose being to concentrate a portion of their store of Happy Sally to 150 proof. KD readily agreed, and within minutes, the pair had made the alteration.

Rather like the St.Bernards who carry a flask of brandy to revive stranded travelers high in the Alps, Kalamity was able to offer modest infusions of re-distilled high-proof Happy Sally to keep the survivors of the explosion from succumbing to hypothermia as they clung to the gunwales of the steam launch. When at last Cuthbert guided the craft into the pier at Chugwater, the entire crowd of Jazzberry Carnival revelers gave up a resounding cheer. Thanks to the inventive pair, not a sole was lost from the mill explosion. Little continued to be unavailable for comment, so as yet it remains a mystery how it was he came to expect the impending explosion. Perhaps as new material from the Institute is threshed over, more will be revealed ? I understand Basil has tossed another bale into the amalgumator just this morning.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jun 17, 2019 3:19 pm

Well, Little was very intuitive.
Interesting theory about the soup can. Those characters were certainly inventive.
They used those a lot. I tried to enhance the photo a bit and think I may have spotted it.
enhancedKD.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Jun 17, 2019 8:46 pm

Not sure if this might apply to the current conversation, but KD is quoted in many documents
mentioning cans of worms and a box, belonging to someone named "Pandora". Both Basil and
Heinrich report that no such mention of soup cans can be found in known documents. Not to
say, there were not soup cans used. Just that they are not specifically mentioned in documents.

Anyone know who this "Pandora" person was ?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:48 am

Actually, Burger, all things apply in this inquisition of Kalamity Dick and his world. Just because it may or may not be actual truth is no reason not to explore it. We often find that the facts are wrong and can only be corrected but our best guesses and intuition.
I have long sucspected that bean cans may have been used rather than soup cans in some instances due to their availability.
Only if we dig deep can we find the best worms or perhaps in your case the finest old bottles.
As for Pandora the boys have been working feverishly. It's possible the named evolved from pan-drawer. That is where we finally found the car keys.
Say Hi to the hedge hog.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:35 am

Last time I saw The Hedgehog, he was chasing the cat.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Tue Jun 18, 2019 2:11 pm

That photo of the hedgehog reminds me of photos I've seen of Cuthbert Maddox's second cousin Larkspur Bondurant. Larkspur was a rather colorful character around the tri-burg area in the late 1950's, and an 8mm movie sequence of him walking along the shore of Lake Chugwater not only appears nearly identical to this snapshot of the hedgehog, but still continues to be touted as photographic evidence that Sasquatch is a real creature. The confusion centered on Larkspur's habit of wearing a fur cap, waist-length bearskin jacket, and black angora woolie chaps winter and summer. He stoutly maintained "Insulation is insulation", and that his habiliment kept him at a comfortable body temperature regardless of the weather. "No sweat !" he used to reply when asked if he didn't get uncomfortably hot in August. As for Sasquatch, Larkspur claimed to have had many interesting conversations with him on the subject of molecular biology.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Jun 21, 2019 9:06 am

Speaking of molecular biology it appears that someone got the hedgehog or is this a porcupine? I don't know the biology of that sticky question.
porcupine.JPG

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:06 am

The Hedge Hog, a mammal of the subfamily Erinaceinae, interestingly has the head looking much like the Model T Ford transmission cover (without the pedals of coarse). Seventeen species of hedgehog are found in Europe, Asia, and Africa, and in New Zealand. Burger's photo looks to be in the Chugwater area. That would be an unusual instance to find one there. They do have a perpendicity for chasing cats and walking on the rear limbs.

Someone else may be able to identify the bolt action weapon.

Thanks for the input Herb.
It's always good to hear from you.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Jun 21, 2019 12:01 pm

Neither Larkspur nor Sasquatch understood that molecular biology has nothing to do with moles. Moles, of course, are not related to hedgehogs. Neither is Sasquatch. The rifle pictured above is indeed a bolt-action, probably a model 18 Sprungflump .27 cal. Very rare. Early ads called it a "blot-action" which of course was a typographical error. The Sprungflump Armory tried to finesse the mistake by claiming it was the perfect light rifle for "blotting out" various varmints such as gophers, etc. Our apologies to the porcupine.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Sat Jun 22, 2019 7:11 pm

This is a shot, (pun intended) from the last expedition to the Chugwater Highlands. The mutant squirrels got into the Happy Sally and became overtly aggressive endangering the locals and Uncle Mortimer and his cousin Weldon brought their Buffalo guns and rectified the situation.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:24 pm

Studies show that doing it in miniature is 10x as difficult as doing it in full size.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:45 pm

Milton Freewater was a Portugese-born slave that bought his own freedom in 1811 and headed
west with his wife Maude to become two of the first European settlers in the Chugwater basin.
Unaware of his own birthdate, his record for being the oldest human alive in 1937 was undisputed,
but no one could say exactly how old Milton was. He wife was roughly the same age, and both
lived to 1958, when they were sadly killed in a freak nutmeg accident.

Milton and Maude perfected the tanning bed, and although pale as ghosts naturally, both took
on a hue of what easterners called "puce". The Freewater Foundation was established in Saddlestring
in 1904 to protect the patents and remains a world leader in soft-serve ice cream as well.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Jun 22, 2019 10:46 pm

I can't imagine a more devoted couple as Milton and Maude. The nutmeg took them too early.
That reminds me, I need to renew my Foundation membership next month.
Also, my best to Mrs Leavenworth on her special day.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Jun 23, 2019 12:25 am

That photo shows Milton and Maude with his invention for fly fishing. It was layer perfected by Chauncey da Looney shown here with the results of using Milton's invention to get bait:
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Sun Jun 23, 2019 6:15 am

I never did understand the idea of fly fishing? I mean, what do you do with the flies after you catch them?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Sun Jun 23, 2019 8:00 am

Wayne if you notice Milton is holding a fly swatter.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:39 pm

Fly swatter? I thought it was a spatula!

Heinrich mentioned the other day that we don’t often discuss the Quiropactic Flungustifer. Next to the gilderfluke ratchet and can opener, it was probably the most efficient of Kalamity Dick’ inventions. While it was built for industrial use and saved valuable time most big companies made do with several of the smaller units and hired cheap labor.
Dick was flooded with customers that wanted to pay him to do the tasks but Dick’s passion was to build devises, not process commodities or cure disease.
The Institute for Extreme Dabbling awarded him their Gold Seal Award two years running for it. Much has been written about it’s features but it still holds a forgotten place in history. Fabricated from some of the finest discarded components, Dick magically constructed this in the facility on Boardman Street.
Many were interested to note that he used thermosiphon in the rinse cycle. Again Surge Spiklestine was called in to implement the minstroelectronics. His success for the Sinfacular Clostofrump had won Dick’s admiration. Also, he was on Summer vacation. Again problems crept up with the vanglitory valve. Wrapping the stelthoids with disputation tape and seal-coating helped but the tronable spastfeller kept stalling out. Month after month obstacles were overcome.
With all the bugs worked out it could easily process several Kessels in less than twelve parsecs as some of our other heros hoped to do.
Dick concluded that it was a worth while effort and the inventing is far more satisfying than sales or production. The next Summer found him back on the lake fishing with Cutbert and other friends.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Jun 23, 2019 6:09 pm

90 years ahead of his time, one will note the red adjustment wheel down low has
no mechanical connection to the copper steam return lines attached to the condensor
reservoir. The earliest documented "wireless" control system in history. In spite of
his technological overeach on so many of his works, Dick just walked away from the
achievements that would make others famous and build fortunes, content just for
getting the job done and another tip of the flask.

Anyone else notice how no one in the history of the Tri-Burg area were fame hounds ?
A humble lot, often heard to say things like "It was nothing" and "Anybody else in that
position would have done the same thing". Asked once about his greatest moment and
what brought him the greatest pleasure during his long career, Kalamity told the gathered
media it was the rounded edges on a toilet seat.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jun 24, 2019 8:44 am

Yes, humble and down to earth. That was our Dick. Here is a newspaper account of the Flungustifer introduction. Even with all the acclaim as Burger noted he said "Anybody else that could would have done the same thing".
We thank Riley for confiscating the clipping from Hennessy's widow. It was something the nephew had always treasured.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Jun 24, 2019 2:38 pm

I sure wish we could read the articles in that clipping. I have been trying for years to locate a complete issue of the Chugwater Herald for June 17. Obviously it was the annual special edition, as the 40-cent price indicates. What we can read of the articles indicates a report on the mill explosion, as well as the fete organized by Gerard Larkvonnet to honor KD's accomplishments. Oral histories of the event indicate KD and Cuthbert were awarded medals for heroism for their part in rescuing the mill workers from drowning.

Unfortunately, while the Institute's massive library holds most back-issues of the Chugwater Herald, this number is missing. Sebastian speculates it's because only three copies were sold; the usual price for Herald issues was two cents. Thrifty tri-burg residents balked at paying twenty times the usual price to read about events which they had personally experienced.

Footnote: The periodical, The Chugwater Herald has no connection to "Chugwater Harold", the itinerant gambler and window-washer who was jailed for making off with the spittoon from Henshaw's Saloon. One evening a week before the Regatta, Harold emerged from Henshaw's establishment somewhat the worse for drink, and mis-stepping into the spittoon Henshaw provided by the entrance to his saloon as a public service, got his foot firmly caught in the vessel. Making no effort to extricate himself from the embarrassing predicament, Harold merely limped on home and went to bed. Henshaw pressed charges for the thievery the following morning. The spittoon was badly dented when finally recovered. Harold's sox were never the same, but his shoe was dyed an appealing shade of Cordovan.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:24 pm

This just in ! Heinrich discovered the Hearst papers picked up the story of Kalamity Dick's citations as a "filler"article. The following edited transcription appeared in the June 25 issue of the San Francisco Chronicle, page 16, wedged between an ad for "Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh" and the Castro Valley artichoke market reports:

LOCO INVENTER HONORED
dateline, Chugwater, Wyoming,
Tuesday, last
Claiming inevitability, obscure
Wyoming impresario Gerard Lark-
vonnet commended inventer Richard
I. Klamithofer for his inventive skill
in improving known industrial machines,
and building others of entirely unproven
design from cast-off junk.
Proclaiming Klamithofer's inventions
as the salvation of humanity,
Larkvonnet and a committee of prom-
inent tri-burg citizens and officials
awarded Klamithofer with a half case of
Happy Sally and a dented spittoon in-
scribed to commemorate the occasion.
Larkvonnet read several telegrams of
congratulation sent from afar.
Most notable was a wire from
Surge Sprinklestine, well-known as the
"wizard of electrokeratosis".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jun 24, 2019 5:19 pm

That unheralded version is so good to see. Thank Heinrich when you see him and I'll make sure he gets an extra plate of ham.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Mon Jun 24, 2019 10:01 pm

Was it this spittoon?
spittoon.JPG
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Tue Jun 25, 2019 1:27 am

Hard to tell about that spittoon. I had always heard that the dent was on the left side.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jun 25, 2019 10:09 am

Good eye Thomas. Is it possible the photo is reversed?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Jun 25, 2019 10:41 am

Spittoon ? Bertram always wore this thing as a hat !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Tue Jun 25, 2019 11:13 am

Herb, positive identification would be the inscription Gerard Larkvonnet had engraved on the underside of the "bell" of the spittoon. Alas, there is no record of how it read. Personally, I would have expected to see more than one dent in it after "Chugwater Harold" stumped home from the saloon with it stuck on his foot. Thoughts ?

Burger brings up an interesting aside on the use of spittoons. Bertram Oberschlop, who worked in the alphabet mines above Medicine Bow was perhaps first to initiate the use of "hard hats" for hard rock miners when he equipped himself with a spittoon. He had struck a rich vein of "Vs" and "Ws" in a side gallery of the Abcedaire Mine. The spittoon provided much needed protection from the sharp points hanging from the ceiling of the shaft.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jun 25, 2019 2:01 pm

While Dudley was at recess we had him try to enhance Herb's photo. It's amazing to watch the magic. It does look like some sort of inscription is on that spittoon but I can't make it out. The research is always appreciated.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jun 26, 2019 8:17 am

Speaking of Bertram wearing it as a hat reminds me of the security crew at the mill during the bisporus feud. Not fully funded they took their helmets where they could find them. They were good natured boys but never backed down from a fight.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jun 26, 2019 11:44 am

I was just reading a book last year that had this photo in it. The chap at left
with the Marty Feldman eyes is Irving Fulpants, brother of Grunda .... we've
talked about her here previously. Irving was much younger than Grunda, but
left his mark on Chugwater in a large way when he brought color to the region
in 1933. Prior to that time, the entire area was black-and-white, and careful
study of early photos will show the earliest ones showing color date to Irving's
work in 1933.

After the aforementioned feud event, Irving was cited by Governor Stüülsample
for bravery and honesty and given the Percumbrian Award. This opened the door
to a board position at the Alphabet Mine, which in turn put Irving in a strong trade
position when the eastern states ran out of certain letters in the mid-1920's. Irving
capitalized on the need and worked a favorable deal for 6000 box car loads of color
in late December of 1932. Whole trains of color began showing up at the Chugwater
& Northern railroad yards in March of 1933, and distro'd along the line at various sidings.
The Woodman Sand Co. and D. Zelinski & Sons (Painters & Decorators) were hired
to then haul and apply the color to the entire Chugwater Basin. Initial work was
completed by October 1937, with touch up done as needed over the following year.

In 1981, the citizens of Calhoun County voted on a referendum to go back to being
a black-and-white county, on the suggestion by Rasmus Ersatz, that lots of money could
be saved. It was Heinrich himself, who showed that all the color was traded for, and
owned outright by the Fulpants Estate (later donated to the county) and that no debt
was owed at any time. In pre-hearing arguments, it was stated that any suit brought
against the eastern states for return of the alphabet letters would result in default
by same eastern states, as those letters were used long ago and could not be rounded
up in sufficient quantities to satisfy even a small judgement. Thusly, no attempts to
take the color back or seek additional compensation would ever be launched, and the
initiative was summarily defeated in an 8,921-to-12 county-wide vote.

Heinrich has the early 30's dossier of documents in the Institute Archives from
the Fulpants Estate that detail Irving's procurement of the color rights from George
Kodak and establishing the first color franchise in the Chugwater Basin. Prior to
his doing so, things were pretty bland for color all around the area, but people
never knew the difference, as everything had always been just black and white and
shades of grey until color was brought to town. Things have never been the same since.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jun 26, 2019 12:35 pm

I understand there is a list of those 12 and they left the planet under mysterious circumstances. Rumor has it that there are still some secluded black and white areas in Chugwater Canyon.
Thanks for your report.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jun 26, 2019 1:11 pm

Milford Pukepenny refused to allow color crews onto the Pukepenny Ranch and it
remains color-free to this day. Another area, in the cliff stretch of the lower canyon,
where the Chugwater & Northern had to tunnel, there simply is no access to economically
apply color, and thusly, it also remains without. Kalamity Dick was approached for ideas
of getting this work done, but he was already committed to his work on the Bumford
Principle and felt this whole color thing was a passing fad.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jun 26, 2019 1:53 pm

It should be noted that, like our inventor friend Kalamity Dick, Geo. Kodak was
an inventor, and like KD, often invented things for which there was no use or
market. KD and Irving Fulpants were barely acquaintences, the latter being
more of a marketer and businessman, while the former held deep disdain for
these matters. Their common friend, Mr. Kodak had invented a photographic
film that recorded color in a world that was all black-and-white. Faced with
what to do with his invention, he was forced to introduce a skeptical public to
a colored world, in order to sell them film that would capture it in pictures.
Enter businessman and marketer Irving Fulpants, and Kodak would build an
empire. KD enjoyed sunning himself on the giant granite outcroppings that
were all around the Alphabet Mine area, yet this and their common friend in
Kodak never really brought Irving and KD together as friends. I think it was
grief over the nutmeg accident that neither could get past.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Wed Jun 26, 2019 9:54 pm

Ah yes the Nutmeg incident!
Here she is:
the nutmeg.JPG
That is her on the left, Megan Broomhilda von Kraut.
She really wasn't a nut, but she could spin a yarn. If she was still alive I suppose she would be contributing to this discussion and helping us to get the facts written down correctly.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jun 26, 2019 10:16 pm

Brilliant research guys. Heinrich and Sebastian send their regards.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jun 27, 2019 2:23 pm

Herb, it is remarkable how you are able to find such interesting photos, each one adding valuable detail to the full history of Kalamity Dick and his life, times, and many associates. Thank you again ! In this case, the photo provides a link to the early history of Kalamity Dick at the beginning of his association with Cuthbert Maddox. Inscription on the photo notes it is a photo of Mr. Tescham and his family at their home in Glendale, in 1908. Megan von Kraut was Tescham's sister-in-law. Not Glendale California, but Glendale, Arizona. The jennet the little girl is riding was a half-sister to Cuthbert Maddox's zebra dun mule; both animals were foaled the same year, sired by Mr. Tescham's famous giant jack-ass named Goliath. Tescham came to Arizona in the early 1880s, and became quite prosperous by rounding up wild asses. He would break them to work, then began breeding mules and burros, selling them to mining companies as mineral development in the region expanded into hard-rock mining. Known in the territories as "Wild-ass Tescham", the sobriquet belied his shy, retiring manner. He was a tee-totaler, and his principles were ever at odds with the wild and free-wheeling behavior of Megan von Kraut, which no doubt precipitated the infamous "nutmeg incident".

Heinrich has promised to research the details of the nutmeg incident as soon as he finishes his second helping of ham. (Thanks, Rich!)
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Jun 27, 2019 10:46 pm

Tescham's other point of notoriety was music. After breaking off on a solo career, after spending
a few years with Clerd Finklebytner's kazoo band, Wild-Ass Tescham became a household name all
across the Tri-Burg area when he hit the charts with "I don't look good naked anymore" and the ensuing
dance craze, "The Wild-Ass Tescham" had people dancing in the streets from Silver Plume to uptown
Chugwater. Arrests were made and a bounty raised, but they just could not stop the W-A-T revelers
from doing what they did. Even before TV, it dominated the evening news. Grandma Pittipoo still
waxed on nostalgically about it when I was but a wee nipper.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jun 27, 2019 11:42 pm

This is most likely Wild-Ass Tescham leading the group at the Mascot Festival the year previous. Far left and out of the picture is Clerd himself in full regalia minus the toothpicks.
WATx4931.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Jun 28, 2019 3:40 pm

The Sans Toothpick period was only during 1921 and 1923 touring seasons. In 1922,
Cuthbert Maddox unearthed a small, but rich vein of toothpick ore in the gulch above
the Farquardt cabin and for that one season the famine was broken. Of course, we
all know the story of KD working with muleskinner and sometime logger Louie Louie
Weegaddagonow BECAUSE of the famine, that resulted in the successful cultivation of
the toothpick bush into a more tree-like form, resulting in yield potentials that could
sustain profitability, and thusly, the reliance on old forms and sources of toothpicks
were forever cast aside for toothpick orcharding. KD made a tidy 10% residual off the
work, and Louie-Louie became the largest toothpick orchardist in the entire Tri-Burg
area, including Silver Plume. And this does not include exports to Afrika.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jun 28, 2019 4:27 pm

It's good to see that side of the Filtcherqueeze. This was taken just upstream.
JustUpStream.jpg
Cuthbert often mumbled "Sliver me Timbers".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:11 am

Yes Burger the toothpick famine was finally broken and since then great strides have been made to keep a steady supply available to the consuming public.
toothpick.JPG
toothpick.JPG (59.13 KiB) Viewed 2557 times
And evenlater in the last century bigger refinements were made to assure a constant supply.
I believe little has been said about the association between KD an Paul Bunyon. I will leave that to more knowledgeable writers to enlighten us.
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toothpick.JPG 2.JPG


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Jun 29, 2019 12:52 pm

You opened a can of worms with this one, Herb ....

This will likely cause some anguish amongst traditionalist followers of American
mythology and folklore, but what we have here is another case of stolen culture ...
Like those lands stolen from our southern neighbor, this Paul Bunyan character was
actually modeled after one Pablo Ygnacio "Muy Mas Centavo" Buñon, a revered
figure of early 19th Century Mexico

KDpablobuñon.jpg
KDpablobuñon.jpg (18.7 KiB) Viewed 2546 times
Unable to maintain a job at the local celfone factory, due to child labor and union
restrictions, young Pablo went north to Escalanté, where his Uncle manufactured
artificial strawberry extracts and fish sticks from recycled mobile homes. It was on
the 3 month burro ride to Escalanté that Pablo discovered wild groves of taco trees.
Fascinated by the curved shell that tasted like corn, Pablo picked some of the fruits
and brought them to Escalanté, where the world of Mexican food was revolutionized.
Pablo was a centovonaire by the time he was 8 years old in 1813, and by 1860, was a
national hero and icon in the sport of squamish south of the border. Only 3' 9", he was
a giant in both real life and folklore.

It was scheming northern midwesterners Eli Weasel and Lars Witzkopfstein, in an attempt
to corner the olive pit market in Minnesota, who stole the legend of Pablo Buñon, enlarged
his stolen image to one of a giant, slapped on some clothing preferred by burly women
with strong negative feelings toward men, and renamed their character "Paul Bunyan".

Heinrich reports that sketchy records suggest Kalamity Dick's 3rd uncle, twice removed,
Ernest "Wah-Hoo!" Klamitbofer may have met Pablo Buñon in organizational meetings for
the establishment of the Chugwater Regatta, some 30 years later.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sat Jun 29, 2019 8:54 pm

That is so confusing. Are you sure you heard it right?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:19 pm

If I told you I was Native American, in order to get a lucrative position at Harvard,
would you believe me then ? :roll:
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Jun 29, 2019 11:08 pm

Burger, yes, I could believe that. Congratulations on your appointment to the Hahvahd faculty !

Meanwhile, I'm struck by the fact that Pablo Bunon (sorry, I don't know how to apply the proper orthographic marks, such as the tilda over the "n") was (height differences notwithstanding) a dead ringer for Emiliano Zapata . . . which leads me to digress - have our readers heard the remarkable story of how Kalamity Dick came to beat Zapata in an arm-wrestling contest ? . . . that would have been in Zacatecas back in '09. Quite the tale. Sebastian is rounding up documentation for a complete report later. Probably be ready come Taco Tuesday.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Jun 29, 2019 11:42 pm

Ah, ... and now you touch upon "the rest of the story", Rich ....

Prior to the years in Arizona raising burros, Wild-Ass Tescham was in acquaintance
with a now-aging Pablo Buñon. This was also prior to Tescham's teetotaling days, and
the two gents got into the tequila cabinet and worked themselves up into quite a state.
The pair stayed up all night working on calendar mathmathics and when the morning sun
rose, instead of the six-day week that had always been before, they now had seven days !

A roll of the dice gave Tescham the honor of naming the day, but Tescham being the humble
guy he was, named it "Taco Tuesday" in honor of his friend Buñon. Gringo audiences were
not as keen to honor the taco part, but "Tuesday" stuck. "Taco Tuesday" does remain part
of the common lexicon, in spite of the historic discrimination.

Sadly, the two friends did not keep notes of their math homework that night, and in spite
of the world's best math minds to have grappled with the numbers since, no one has been
able to duplicate their work and thenumber of days in a week remains at seven.

"And now you know ..... "
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Mon Jul 01, 2019 8:42 pm

Way up on this page there was mention of the Shamrock Incident. Through some lucky coincidences I was able to come up with a photo from that day! This was taken just before things went sour that day and really doesn't explain what happened.
shamrock.JPG
But it does give you some idea about what it was all about.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Jul 01, 2019 9:43 pm

Wyoming had funding for 12 Shamrock re-forestation teams like this. Shown against
a blighted shamrock forest with the tools they used for planting, it was said the team
led by Zebulon Toonbury could plant in 300 acres in a single day.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jul 02, 2019 12:28 am

There is some truth to that. The team had some successes over the years. Had the mushroom infestation not encroach on them it could have been exceedingly more profitable.
Shametc.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Jul 02, 2019 10:24 am

Funny how the solutions can often be worse than the problems. During the big economic
slump, the mushroom business was believed to be the answer to many peoples' woes. But
when the mushrooms got out of hand, it cost everyone plenty to reign that situation in !

Amusing as as they were, the giant chickens brought in the eat the errant mushrooms
became another problem the people of the Chugwater Basin had to deal with.

Heinrich could not locate a period picture, but here we see one of the crocobears Dirk
Funkbungler bred to reduce the population of giant chickens, when those got out of hand !
These remain a problem all along the less inhabited beach areas of Chugwater Lake and
make picnicking dangerous.

crocobear.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jul 02, 2019 1:00 pm

Chicetc.jpg
This might be it. It was in Heinrich's back pocket the whole time.
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