OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

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Rich Bingham
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Wed May 13, 2020 10:25 am

Wayne, I’m so glad you brought up both of those points. For some time now, certain anachronisms such as the modern currency in that old photo, have come to the attention of the research staff. Indications seem to point to the possibility that KD’s Uncle Lumby (Columbus Q. Klamitboffer) was occasionally transplanted for short periods into other times and places. Heinrich has been working on a mathematical equation which suggests a conflation between epsilon frequencies emitted by the first model kaphistulator and Uncle Lumby’s affinity for Log Cabin Syrup (in the clever tin container) may have opened portals in the space/time continuum. Lumby loved to watch the kaphistulator run, and was almost always on hand after a generous waffle breakfast whenever Dick fired it up.

The modern C-notes were not taken seriously, and were used as markers for the betting, similarly as casinos today sell chips to the players. As noted, Ernie took a dim view of the gambling for all the right reasons. The roach races came to an abrupt end shortly after an itinerant exterminator spent an evening in the saloon. It seems the cuffs of his trousers were (unbeknownst to him) quite full of insecticide powder.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed May 13, 2020 12:50 pm

And haven't we all found our trouser cuffs full of insecticide powder from time to time?
I credit the more modern looking bills to printing these old pictures on modern paper. Where are the printer purists.
Congratulations Wayne on your milestone. I see we have another milestone at 20 columns of KD gibberish to date. My My!

Here we see Phil Frothingcap and Adolph having a cool one. Phil often took a break from the malting bins and with Adolph out of work they would get together and chat about their youth and the vulture fries. The Owlsley twins (not pictured) were taking a swim.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed May 13, 2020 9:40 pm

Funny that you would bring that up right now, Wayne, ... as Irving Lipschitz is
visiting from Brooklyn. I know ! .... right ?

His mother always said he was such a good boy.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Thu May 14, 2020 4:01 am

And now, KD post number 1904, the year Ford introduced their new model B big touring car!

Is the thread still off topic? One wonders.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu May 14, 2020 10:01 am

Which topic ?

Glad to see Irving. We grabbed a beer at Ernie’s and he (very politely) reminded me that the title of this topic is “The Adventures of Kalamity Dick”, and he had come all the way from Brooklyn just to remind the Institute trustees that he, for one, would like to see more about real adventure.

His mother was right, Irving IS a good boy. We parted when the gang at Ernie’s started chugging boilermakers. He had left his schooner almost half full, a shining example of temperance I thought to myself, as I sobered up this morning. (Laws ! My head hurts !)
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu May 14, 2020 10:50 am

"More adventure", he says ! And I must agree.

Perhaps others have details, but the pamphlet given away at the Visitors Center
says that Irving Lipschitz's Great-great-great Grandfather was the 143rd fastest
gun in the west, and that a song was written about it. I need to look into this.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu May 14, 2020 12:43 pm

Actually, every day was an adventure for Kalamity Dick. With equipment in the valley either going on the fritz or getting out of whack, depending on which side of the river it came from, he was in a constant state of excitement. Readying his daily duty log I often have to put it down til the palpitations go away. If need be I will recite some.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu May 14, 2020 1:54 pm

Rich, I know from experience reading excerpts from KD’s log book how exciting that can be, so in the spirit of the Ex-Lax Kid, I have to agree if you can post more of KD’s adventures, that would indeed “. . . be a treat for all of us !”

I’m sure Irving will be much gratified by your efforts.

Burger, thank you for that reference to Irving’s ancestor. Bartholomew is researching a clipping from the Saddlestring Gazette, dateline July 15, 1867 :

Obituary : One Englewood Lipschitz, age 34, was shot to death in a brawl over one of Miss Lucretia’s crib gals, in Leland’s Saloon and Billiard Parlor Saturday evening last.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Thu May 14, 2020 8:24 pm

Thread post 1908, Ford begins production of the model T! Also the last year of the fabulous model K 6-40 and the NRS series!

This is relevant to KD in that he did so love his model T speedster!


Hmmm. I post one, the post count went up two? Sebastian needs to look into this.
Well, 1909 then. First year model of the fabulous model T!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu May 14, 2020 9:02 pm

Milquetoast Lipschitz begat an eldest son of Irving. Englewood was Milquetoast's
elder brother. It has been a long line of Irvings ever since. And a long line of almost-
achievers they all have been ! Irving II almost won the 1897 Whoever Smelt it, Dealt
It championships. Irving III almost came in 4th in the 1912 underwater bicycles races.
Irving IV almost set himself on fire (more than once!), and our visitor and friend, Irving
V almost ate a whole #2 Burrito Combo at the big Mexican event, held last year in front
of Ernie's. I hope you all can come out to cheer.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri May 15, 2020 1:41 am

In earlier posts, the name and exploits of Harry Organs came up. Heinrich did a presentation
today at the Uvula League Hall for both the Uvula League and the Ladies Auxilliary, Chapter 219,
on the building of the Wombat Tunnel, that was completed 135 years ago, today. Indirectly
related and preceding the Nutmeg Incident by many years, the twin tunnels were bored under
Mount Stinkwater at considerable cost in both lives and resources, enabling the lunch trolley
traffic to Ernie's to move in both directions , and with great efficiency. Ruling grade was .02%,
whereas the switchbacks over the top were 8% each direction and required doubling the hill
with the big steamers. In a moment of whimsy, KD carved the two 40' wombats and pedestals
from giant blocks of quartz, quarried above Silver Plume. People said they could never be moved
to the tunnel entrance, but the reverse-gravity inverser application on the kaphistulator again
proved invaluable. "Big Harry" Organs, Sr. was both the mastermind, engineer, and dance coordinator
of the entire project. It was said that Irving Lipschitz II carried water to the backhaul teamsters
in the second season.

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KD, seen here at trackside, lived in the small shanty between the tunnel portals, while visiting
the tunnel area and inspecting the wear patterns on his scuptures. He was very interested in
the erosion of natural elements, with the exposure to mushroom gas emissions from the trolley
generators.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri May 15, 2020 3:27 pm

And many happy picnics were completed in those tunnels.
This is from Kalamity Dick’s Log Book Volume #7. May 23rd.
“It was a partly cloudy day, 67 ° with wind from the SSW. I was calibrating some vacsanticle coils when the phone rang. It was the Boggs National Bank branch on Kleveland. Their Stradlator 16 coin washer was on the frits and it was money laundering day. I put the Waldrons in the speeder and headed down Maple through the tunnels and over to Boggs.
“Ludinia was wearing a triple stripe blouse with flowers on the sleeves. I couldn’t help but admire how pretty she was with her hairpiece on sideways. After examining the coin cleaner I could see that the Whilburgs were askew and no brithing fluid was present. Chiming the stelthoids I heard a commotion out front. I could see a masked gunman had entered the foyer as I looked through the disovitainer glass.
“The Villain ordered everyone to freeze and the tellers to put all the cash into a satchel he passed from window to window.
“Thinking quickly I reversed the paraglam quills from left to right and visa versa. Jumping the fowler pin with an auxiliary cable and using Spillman’s green visor as a reflector I could direct a 200 watt beam directly at the 50 round drum on the bandit’s Thompson. Although it still left one round in the chamber the remaining shells were frozen in tronable cavistat. He fired the single bullet directly at my head but I was quick enough to duck. It took my hat over the Vice President’s desk into the cancelled check bin.
“I threw the No. 511 wire-handled ratchet and caught the would be thief in the cheek bone sending him to the floor and unconscious. Drawing closer I could see it was the notorious “Alfredo the Dark” who was wanted in 7 states and the burgh of Chipaspray for murder, robbery and fowl language.
“Binford Stroschlap was acting for the Deputies who were at a gin rummy tournament in Laramie at the time. He brought the cackle truck and carted our criminal off to justice.
“Meanwhile the separator on the Stradlator had overheated and the styborgg fowler exploded sending shrapnel upward and straight through two collar beams and the vent housing. Barney Frothingcap, acting bank guard, said how lucky nobody was injured in either diversion. I soldered the #16 back together and re tuned the vesperators and the cleaning began.
“I had spent third grade with Alfredo and he seemed just fine in those days other than sitting on the tire swing backwards at recess. Serving in the Cadillac league may have been a bad influence.
This 16mm clip was enclosed in the page folds. Also a photo of the hat that received the bullet. Just one correction from the handwritten journal, the brithing fluid probably was beyond expiration date.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat May 16, 2020 3:38 am

How many times do we need to be reminded ?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Sat May 16, 2020 3:53 am

Well, the counter still seems to be unsure of where at we are? So it is either 1913 or 1914. Either way, the Ford moving assembly line is up and running! Spitting model Ts out the factory door like the world has never seen!
And at where is our hero KD at this time? What incredible mysteries of the universe is he playing with now? (Now being a relative term since the "now" we are discussing is 1914.)
And that hat does need to be repaired. Wouldn't want KD's dome catching cold now, would we?

Fear not. This frivolous foray into the land of non-sequitur shall soon time out.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Sat May 16, 2020 4:01 am

According to the counter, it is now 1915! And my runabout gets spit out that factory door. Finally, electric lamps are the wave of the future! And that unsightly old brass will soon be a thing of the past.

See you at Ernie's. I think I need a root beer.

Either that or I really need a lot more of that unsightly old brass. Anybody got some that needs a new home?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat May 16, 2020 1:18 pm

Arnie from the pharmacy asks that we all make sure that medications we are taking
are the ones actually prescribed for us, and that we take them in the proper dosages.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat May 16, 2020 1:42 pm

Thanks for the reminder Burger. I'm taking these in numerical order, left to right.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat May 16, 2020 3:59 pm

Point of information, KD swore by the “Wizard Oil” (far right). He claimed it was a “. . . marvelous mystery . . .” how it eliminated aches and pains after a hard day of adjusting kaphistulators throughout the Tri-Burg area, although it was never proved how the anaesthetic quality of a shot or two of Happy Sally factored in. The compound became unavailable when the supply of wizards ran out.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat May 16, 2020 5:24 pm

Yes Indeed! "There is no sore it will not heal, No pain it will not subdue. Pleasant to take and Magical in it's Effects. For liver complaints, constipation and all disorders of the stomach and digestive organs." KD also used a little in the timer of the Raceabout. It formed little balls that had to be removed occasionally but the Nephews loved to chew them.
As it turned out the concoction wasn't really made from actual Wizards, but from pets they had lying around on the porch.
There was a lawsuit and a song about the whole thing but I don't remember the tune.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat May 16, 2020 6:33 pm

The Hamlin brothers really were wizards, but that’s another story. Some made fun of the promotional poster shown above, but in spite of exaggerations of scale, it was based in fact. During summer vacations, KD’s nephews would take turns writing informational messages on the back of the elephant that accompanied the Hamlins’ traveling medicine shows. Stumbo the elephant would go down on his knees and bend over backwards while downing a bottle of the famous cure-all. Only his handlers knew that it actually contained Happy Sally, and occasionally beer, as the pachyderm was violently allergic to sassafras and chloroform which were major components of the Wizard Oil compound.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat May 16, 2020 10:15 pm

Let me ask again, how many times to we need to be reminded ?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Sun May 17, 2020 2:51 am

According to the counter, it is now post 1922, which may mean '23 skidoo ! The height of the model T's heyday.
And,"we're off to see the lizard, the 'pun-erful' lizard of odds!" He says there is still a chance I will be back tomorrow night?

Hey, I gotta keep reading all the rest of this stuff!

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun May 17, 2020 12:33 pm

Because, because, because, becaaaaaaause..........
The Slandacaster Gazette often referred to Kalamity Dick as a Wizard. Kd declined the praise saying he was more of an Automation Thaumaturge. Modest to a fault he often gave credit to his helpers rather than take it himself. Marconi, Fessenden and Sprague often swept out the shop and helped hold their finger on knots KD was tying and reached much fame from ideas and encouragement given them.
One thing they all had in common was a love of Yaritza Straddlekaster,s mangosteen pie. She claimed it was the fructose that kept them coming back for more.
Yaritza slept under a Studebaker for several years herself.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Sun May 17, 2020 3:26 pm

Ah yes, the wonderful Slumberbanker. Nothing better than a Slumberbanker under which to bank one's "Z"s.And Studebaker built the best.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sun May 17, 2020 9:22 pm

Wasn’t there also a model they called the “Strudelmaker” ?
But we digress.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun May 17, 2020 10:43 pm

Yaritza found that on cold nights she could run the motor a while and then snuggle up to the crankcase to keep warm. Her Grandfather's oilcloth raincoat kept the grime from soiling her pajamas. She also had hot or cold running water via the radiator petcock. The exhaust pipe and muffler were a hazard but she learned to stay away from them. Setting the hand brake and removing the distributor rotor insured any rude awakenings from someone moving the car. Among her favorites were six-cylinder dreams.
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Mangosteen Strudel was within her talents also.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Mon May 18, 2020 12:55 am

1927 (more or less). The final year of the originally produced model T Fords! Also the year of my Paige sedan, and the final year for the Paige-Detroit Automobile Company.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon May 18, 2020 3:10 am

The Detroits lived on the bluff, above the Upper Terrace. Paige Detroit was
born with no skin and lived in a shoebox until it finally grew in. KD oversaw the
operation as an advisor.

Paige grew up to be quite a siren. Tommy Schleppington was an obsessive
creep, by most accounts, and was a real problem for poor Paige until she caught
Tommy across the kisser with a 9 iron. Tommy lived out the rest of his days with
the top half of his head held down with burlap strips and mailing tape.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon May 18, 2020 12:21 pm

Trelve pages after the Bank adventure KD mentions the fishing trip he and the Nephews went on. It was a Saturday so no school was missed. They had been using redworms with moderate luck. Larkvonnett Creek was a little high for that time of year. They had just finished lunch when that marauding group of waterpump salesmen barged in on them. For years they had invaded the valley high-pressuring the fine folks of the Tri-Bergs into buying waterpumps for their Fords and other thermosyphon equipment. People often bought them just to get rid of the vexing clowns and often used them as candlesticks. KD had bought some and reversed the cup of the impeller vanes to produce extra torque to the motor from the tremendous thermosyphon force. Their leader grabbed Hennessy by the collar and threatened him with a 1/2" ratchet unless KD paid the six pence fee. As luck would have it along came a blackbird and snipped off his nose. Not an uncommon occurrence for that part of the creek. Bleeding profusely the crooked vendor vanished into the trees with the remainder of the gang close behind. KD was pleased with himself for sharing oatcakes morsels with the bird earlier in the day.
Seven Clutchfish had been hooked lined and sinkered in all, wedged into the creel and ready for Yaritza to bake into a pie.
I may add that is was 1927 or 1928 when the Slumberbanker was given up for the Gun Safe.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon May 18, 2020 1:05 pm

The pages reveal many fascinating details. Miss Prudence Ramcootie taught all nine grades in the one-room school house KD attended for three years.

Her diary entry for September 4 :
“. . . It’s an absolute delight how quickly young Richard Klamitboffer has grasped the concept of turning pages in a book with his right hand. I will begin to teach him the difference between front and back covers tomorrow. He shows all the promise of becoming page adroit.”
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon May 18, 2020 9:41 pm

People overlook it, but he still holds the record.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon May 18, 2020 11:42 pm

Only related to this recent discussion by the lunch trolley to Ernie's, my mother
and grandmother dropped by today with this photo, that they thought I might share.
This is the 1880-built lattice bridge over the Pispacattiquawttimauken, as the line
left Saddlestring for Chugwater. Grandma's Grandma lived in the little white house,
and was an avid underwater bicycler. We see her race bike leaned up against the
telegraph pole.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue May 19, 2020 12:17 pm

Yes, if we zoom in a little we can just make her out getting ready for a ride.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Tue May 19, 2020 12:44 pm

Few people know how instrumental great great grandma Burger was in the development of the self contained underwater breathing apparatus (SCUBA). She often complained to Jack Crustacean who worked the seed beds at the moss plantation how trailing the “hard hat” diving suit air hoses and gear lanyard severely limited the extent of her cycling trips. Using the cascade compressor from a decommissioned kaphistulator, a used prestolite tank and components from a bee-keeper’s hood, Jack fashioned the first SCUBA gear, giving Granny infinite range on her underwater cycling trips. The development went unnoticed and without any credit to Crustacean until the eponymous Frenchman claimed the invention as his own during WW II.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed May 20, 2020 2:01 am

Grandma also had this photo of Jack. Jack often tried to pass himself off
as his brother, Pink. Grandma said Jack once told her that he met a German
girl in England, who was going to school in France. She said they did the Mississippi
at an Alpha-Kappa dance. The Sheriff even got involved. Jack denied it.

KDJcrust.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Wed May 20, 2020 10:59 am

Jack was a kind soul who often fed the pigeons in Chugwater Park on his lunch break. The birds loved him for himself, and would sit in his lap and perch on his arm to get the moss seed he brought them.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed May 20, 2020 11:40 am

Yes, he must have been easy for the pigeons to spot him wearing that magenta beret.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Wed May 20, 2020 2:05 pm

Curious how that magenta beret brings us back to our main subject, the adventures of Kalamity Dick:

In his early school days, KD had a very close friend, name of Chad Plackett who affected a beret. The two shared many happy after-school hours, fishing for mud puppies on Upper Chugwater Creek, and combing through the city dump for usable bolts and screws. Sadly, Chad and his family moved away long before granulation. KD then took up wearing a beret as a fond reminder of his old friend.

When he first assembled his raceabout, KD found the unique head gear was well suited to high speed runs over the sagebrush plains, but uncomfortably hot, as his powerful brain began coagulating the complex principles of mechanical contusion which resulted in his first marvelous inventions.

Shortly after completion of the first kaphistulator prototype, he hung up the sweaty beret for good, and adopted the iconic top-hat he wore throughout the rest of his career. The high crown of the top-hat afforded ample air space which allowed the thermo-siphon effect to cool his cerebrum, keeping it fully functional in the heat of deep concentration.

Fortuitously, the high crown also saved his life when Alfredo the Dark took malicious aim in the Boggs Bank holdup attempt. The .45 caliber hole from Alfredo’s Thompson actually improved air flow and cooling.

Jack Crustacean had been an admirer of KD and his inventive talent since those days in Miss Ramcootie’s school house. He wore the beret as homage to a superior intelligence. Magenta was optional, but the pigeons loved it.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by OilyBill » Wed May 20, 2020 11:30 pm

I can verify by personal association the success of Kalamity Dick's Fingerfrother Doodad, or whatever it was called.
My father was there, and witnessed it! Not only was everything here TRUE, but he also said that Kalamity Dick was able to pull in broadcasts of the "Amos and Andy Show" at least 25 years BEFORE the first airing of the series. That's how powerful it was.
My father was tire salesman for the "Diablo Tire Co." They were well known from 1909 to about 1909 and 1/2 for their tires, which were designed to go flat on the TOP instead of the BOTTOM, thus allowing the hapless motorist to keep driving. I have one of the last remaining existing sets on my 1914 Runabout. They still work perfectly, even as old as they are!


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by OilyBill » Wed May 20, 2020 11:37 pm

Rich Bingham wrote:
Sat Jan 12, 2019 1:36 pm
:shock: Slug was a polygamist ?!? :shock:
No! That's what people thought. But recent analysis has showed he was actually an Intersecting corbel!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu May 21, 2020 12:21 am

I think the confusion was Slug posing as a phlobotomist by day, and a lobotomist
by night. It paid the bills, but he was always tired. Terrible gas, too.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu May 21, 2020 11:10 am

Wasn't Diablo Tire Co.just West of the bakery were the Aardvarks were inflated? That would have been just prior and just after 1909 according to my schedule.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu May 21, 2020 7:01 pm

The Diablo tire patent was devilishly clever, and would have revolutionized pneumatic tire technology for years to come had Biff Huffingpuf, inventor and founder of the company, been independently capitalized. Alas, he made a “deal with the devil”, and launched his tire enterprise with financing from the Monkey Fingers Corp., well established manufacturers of tire patches. Sensing the threat to their business, Monkey Fingers quickly squeezed Huffingpuf out of Diablo Tire in a hostile take over, and ended production on the spot.

Sad, isn’t it ?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri May 22, 2020 1:04 am

Biff forever suffered the fallout of his brother Buff, who epitomized the
stereotypical "evil twin". The archives of all the Calhoun County tabloids
and fish wrappers are filled with Buff's trail of mayhem and scoundrelism.

Film at eleven.
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Test, just a test

Post by Scottsab » Fri May 22, 2020 11:12 am

В магазине представлены сухие корма для собак и кошек торговых марок Acana, 1st Choice, Hill's, Royal Canin, ProPlan, Pronature Original, Nature, Trainer, Advance, OptiMeal, клуб 4лапы, Lara.
Консервы и влажные корма представлены марками Schesir, GimDog, GimCat, Vibrisse, Tobias, Baskerville, Butcher's, TOMi, Gourmet, Felix, Optimeal, Royal Canin.
Широкий выбор игрушек, лакомств и витамин, мисок, наполнителей для туалетов, средств по уходу, аксессуаров и амуниции.
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Test, just a test

Post by Scottsab » Fri May 22, 2020 11:33 am

В магазине представлены сухие корма для собак и кошек торговых марок Acana, 1st Choice, Hill's, Royal Canin, ProPlan, Pronature Original, Nature, Trainer, Advance, OptiMeal, клуб 4лапы, Lara.
Консервы и влажные корма представлены марками Schesir, GimDog, GimCat, Vibrisse, Tobias, Baskerville, Butcher's, TOMi, Gourmet, Felix, Optimeal, Royal Canin.
Широкий выбор игрушек, лакомств и витамин, мисок, наполнителей для туалетов, средств по уходу, аксессуаров и амуниции.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri May 22, 2020 11:43 am

That's easy for you to say, Scottsab, but the actual schematic shows кошек торговых on the left kitsmetak. When KD sent the manual off to the printer he specified linguine be served instead.
As an Intersecting corbel he was struck by a flying buttress while changing the antenna. While it didn't kill him he was never able to play the balalaika again.
According to Heinrich's chart Slug bought 2 pair of brown socks on June 25th 1921.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri May 22, 2020 12:10 pm

Rich, that’s correct. He didn’t change them until January 4, 1936. They were still brown. Slug always was a snappy dresser, but he wouldn’t have had to wear two pairs of socks if he’d worn the right size boots. (14 triple “E”)
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri May 22, 2020 2:14 pm

Actually, the straw that broke the monkey's back was the "Monkey Grip Tread" which gripped the road so tightly that it absorbed 37.6% of the cars power to break loose from the grip in motion. Gas mileage went to heckk and cost of repairs to the drive train tripled. KD had warned of this but confidence in his tire expertise had dwindled since the creamed chutney tire experiment.
Gripp.jpg
Of coarse Huffingpuf went on to construct the 5-wheeled baby buggy used in the chowder theft over in Roxenburg just after Collaboration Day.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Fri May 22, 2020 6:20 pm

Rich,

When I see your homemade ads to jive with what the current thread drift is I often wonder how many of them will show up in someone's history report on antique auto accessories as actual vendor ads. I can see it now, someone getting into a fight defending their report because they found the ad on the internet on the Model T Ford site! :lol:
1922 Coupe & 1927 Touring


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Fri May 22, 2020 9:10 pm

Thanks Mr Kete. Now I have tell everyone I was wrong about Monkey Grip Tires being real! :D

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri May 22, 2020 9:18 pm

I can see that this Kalamity Dick thing could lead to a lot of problems adding to the miss-information on the internet. It's bad enough that we give our opinions on the Model T side that may be dangerous or misguiding. Your comments have brought me to the realization we should discontinue this thread immediately.
Thanks
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Sat May 23, 2020 5:26 am

Brenda's cousin enjoyed using the monkey grip tires on the baby's perambulator as well as her sneakers and pushing the baby and carriage along the walls. All went well until she took a left turn onto the ceiling and the bay fell out.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Sat May 23, 2020 7:29 am

Rich,

That was not my intent to have you discontinue this thread I ENJOY IT and I HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO IT also. I'm sorry I brought it up. I find this entertaining reading. :oops:
1922 Coupe & 1927 Touring

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat May 23, 2020 11:42 am

Don't ever take anything I say that seriously Perry. I have enjoyed your humor for ever. Please keep joining in the FUN.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat May 23, 2020 12:45 pm

In a recent study, scientists from all over the world unanimously concluded that
there are stupid people, regardless of color, gender, ethnic background, or world
wide location. This is in direct corrolation with all 12 of the studies done by the
Institute since 1884. It was thusly concluded that pressing forward with the immensely
important task of documenting the questionable history of a fictional location is of
paramount priority for all concerned, and funding and archival space guaranteed by
order of the authorities in perpetuity. The latter doubled from the previous directive.

In a statement given after the announcement, the commission said that "You can lead
a horse to water, but you can't make him fish. If those of lesser sensibilities towards
reason and humor are unable to discern between hard fact and solid absurdity, let them
be the ones to set the record straight. The scholarly efforts of the greatest minds ever
went into building this edifice of granite-like nonsense, and we aim to carry forth the
mission laid out by those who came before us."

Please, .... make a note of it.

Scientists:

KDscientists.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat May 23, 2020 1:46 pm

Of particular interest to me is Iggnacius Xaucerman, second to left of Milburn Flatacaster, with his hand in his coat. He isn't reaching for his Nickle plated Iver Johnson Hammerless .38 S&W with ivory grips as it might look but his daily record of "granite-like" quotes from various meetings and speeches. Having a granite-like Uncle from Cleveland and a great Aunt with a granite-like chin and biceps, he collected anything to do with granite-like.
At any rate it's good to see the boys gathered before treats at Ernie's and a trolley ride.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sat May 23, 2020 2:33 pm

OK that's the guys. I found a photo of the Ladies.
Mary's friends.JPG
If you ask me it looks like the ladies are getting more done!

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat May 23, 2020 6:58 pm

My Goodness, it is lovely to see the Ladies. They have their sharpening machines out giving the pruning needles perfect points for the weekend. How appropriate? Too bad Mylinda has that cough.
Thanks for the photo.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Sat May 23, 2020 10:50 pm

The ladies had some fancy footwork but the singers were quiet. Looks like moss nets used in the basin are being made.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat May 23, 2020 11:23 pm

Leave it to the ladies to combine science with "getting things done". Going the
extra mile was always a hallmark of that group.

------------------

In this 1920 photo, we see the Gumwort factory in the early months after completion.
Before any trimeculite could be mined, milled, and brought to market, an agreement
between an unwieldy assortment of often contentious groups had to be reached. These
included the Upper Terrace tumblers, the American Nutmeg Producers Association, The
Chugwater Xylaphone Society, the Uvula League, the Water Bureau, the Potimken Valley
Streudelers, Triumvirate Yoga, the Cheesehandler's Union, Local 2112, the Chugwater
Cattle Co., Irma Swenson, 7 Feathers Tribal Casino, , The Melvins, First National Security
& Trust, the Worm Bureau, and the trolley operators. Also mentioned in the 12 page
summary was a Bridge & Building Dept., the Steam & Mist Division, the Home for Unmat-
-riculated Yodelers, Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow Church, and the Smudge People.

After the agreement was reached, C&N tracks were laid up Pispacattiquautimawken
Creek to a point behind Swenson's outhouse, and construction began in earnest. KD's
lattice-strung overhead kaphistulator was still in place when this photo was taken. It
would later be employed as a septic emulsifier at the renunciation plant in Saddlestring.
Gumwort remains one of Calhoun County's largest exports.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun May 24, 2020 9:12 am

Great photo of that location. The C&N shortline was supervised by Hedgeman Frothingcap (no relation) and run like a roquefort watch. I understand that engine 6 was used right up until the brewers rebellion. What are the chances?
Shrtln.jpg
I'm glad you mentioned the Smudge People as they are often left out. Without their support the emulsifier might have scummed to the same fate as the other plantiguins of that neighborhood.
Hedgeman sold his gold watch to three of the plant workers and they were never late to work from then on.
Sally Wandamaker wrote two songs about it but I don't recall which one was first.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun May 24, 2020 10:28 am

Old No.6 was built for, and remained on the Gumwort Works site, BECAUSE of the
Smudge People. That was their demand in the initial negotiations. Stubby Smudge
was the engineer, and his half-size brother Shorty was fireman. They worked around
the clock, across the calender, sleeping on the special cots, hung on the tender. They
only took enough time off on St. Swithen's Day to participate in the parade, running
Old No.6 down the trolley tracks to the wharf and back.

Heinrich feels that not enough has been written about the aforementioned groups
and their previously divisive ways. Something that drove a lot of what made Chugwater
history in the early days, and (of course) how it was all negotiated out in the Gumwort
deal ... something that had lasting effects for Chugwater and the entire basin. He
points out that bringing the American Nutmeg Producers to any sort of agreement with
the Steam & Mist Division or the Melvins seems an impossible proposition in a 1910
historical perspective.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Sun May 24, 2020 10:50 am

How right you are Burger. A photo just arrived last evening at daylight. I think this is a photo of the Steam & Missed division. This may have started the disagreement ? Melvin wanted the stop inside the factory !!! The engine stopped right on time but they were ahead of schedule.
2cf102b36e708ded469ee629720f5a7f.jpg
In their free time the team played cribbage. Is that KD in the window?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun May 24, 2020 1:41 pm

Wow, that takes care of the new paint job.

I can't remember Stubby's brother's name but they called him Hydrant. Either because of his build or the number of times he hiked back to the privy.
He did keep that fire stoked despite the bunions.
StbysBro.jpg
I heard that St. Swithin visited Ernie's several times before it existed. That was a miracle in itself to my way of thinking.
On the short side a mayonnaise jar just might work.
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