OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Kalamity Dick often said “the Road to success is paved with good inventions.” The institute’s Gyrokastroxiter has just been tuned up and is on display in the North wing for the foreseeable future. It has not been successfully frying eggs, but does nearly all the acreage chores and knits a nice kilt. Dressler windings were not available, but a nice set of insulated convolutions were spun at the Helix mill.
Ask Heinrich about the malted spindles.When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
I've often wondered if the treadle powered pea de-splitter has survived to modern times. What housewife couldn't use one these days?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
No news on the pea de-splitter other than pea de delivery from "Mr. Rogers".
This is one modern conversion though.
This is one modern conversion though.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
I wish I knew who that was.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
It's quite a story, Herb. Some background:
Slug Spaydaford (whom you'll remember from page one of these annals) had an equally ne'er-do-well nephew named Snively (pictured above with six-gun). While Slug was "the real deal" as western bad-men went, Snively was a sickly child, delicate of frame with a lisp, who preferred indoor activities and covertly played with dolls. When Slug was finally sentenced to 40 years of hard labor at Rawlins, Snively, whose criminal activity at that point had been limited to putting plug nickels in gumball machines, dealing marked cards, public drunkenness and vagrancy, decided to adopt a "bad-man" persona modeled after his concept of his Uncle Slug. Donning an out-sized sombrero, bandana, wooly chaps and gun belt, he swaggered around Chugwater, Mexican spurs clinking on the boardwalks. He soon attracted a "sidekick", Wembley Meltwater (on the right in the photograph) a frail, rather simple-minded, though harmless character who had grown up reading Beadle's Dime Novels, whose obsessive dream was to be a "real cowboy". Wembley dressed to match Snively, with ine minor difference - while Snively packed a real Colt .44 (although inoperable - its action was rusted shut) Wembley's holster was empty. It didn't bother him, he was deathly afraid of firearms anyway.
The "button shooting" episode in Ernie's came about as the result of the ranch hands and sheepherders at the bar taunting Snively, alternately poking jibes and feigning fearful respect for his "bad-man reputation". Constable Bram (Fats) O'Toole chose to humor Snively's tough guy act, evidenced by his good natured smile in the picture. Before Snively could become too abusive, O'Toole collared him and dragged him away for an evening in the drunk tank, much to the disappointment of the fun-loving crowd in Ernie's.
Slug Spaydaford (whom you'll remember from page one of these annals) had an equally ne'er-do-well nephew named Snively (pictured above with six-gun). While Slug was "the real deal" as western bad-men went, Snively was a sickly child, delicate of frame with a lisp, who preferred indoor activities and covertly played with dolls. When Slug was finally sentenced to 40 years of hard labor at Rawlins, Snively, whose criminal activity at that point had been limited to putting plug nickels in gumball machines, dealing marked cards, public drunkenness and vagrancy, decided to adopt a "bad-man" persona modeled after his concept of his Uncle Slug. Donning an out-sized sombrero, bandana, wooly chaps and gun belt, he swaggered around Chugwater, Mexican spurs clinking on the boardwalks. He soon attracted a "sidekick", Wembley Meltwater (on the right in the photograph) a frail, rather simple-minded, though harmless character who had grown up reading Beadle's Dime Novels, whose obsessive dream was to be a "real cowboy". Wembley dressed to match Snively, with ine minor difference - while Snively packed a real Colt .44 (although inoperable - its action was rusted shut) Wembley's holster was empty. It didn't bother him, he was deathly afraid of firearms anyway.
The "button shooting" episode in Ernie's came about as the result of the ranch hands and sheepherders at the bar taunting Snively, alternately poking jibes and feigning fearful respect for his "bad-man reputation". Constable Bram (Fats) O'Toole chose to humor Snively's tough guy act, evidenced by his good natured smile in the picture. Before Snively could become too abusive, O'Toole collared him and dragged him away for an evening in the drunk tank, much to the disappointment of the fun-loving crowd in Ernie's.
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
That speaks volumesWembley's holster was empty...

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Very rare, showing an ad for Happy Sally in this photo to the right on that building. I wonder how far away this was from Chugwater?
Probably one of Ernie's relatives.-
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Herb, Witten, South Dakota is 350 miles ENE of Chugwater. Thanks for asking.
It's a shame more of that bulletin on the wall isn't visible. Old Timers in Witten fondly recall the ad for Happy Sally included a very fetching (though risqué) portrait of a scantily clothed Miss Gunda Fulpants in the bloom of her youth. The ad was the work of Aldo VanPinksburg.
It's a shame more of that bulletin on the wall isn't visible. Old Timers in Witten fondly recall the ad for Happy Sally included a very fetching (though risqué) portrait of a scantily clothed Miss Gunda Fulpants in the bloom of her youth. The ad was the work of Aldo VanPinksburg.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
By carefully sliding the image to the left, we can see the image Rich has described. Sadly, it has faded a bit.
Thanks so much for bringing this up.
Rich Youngsters were encouraged to walk around the other side of the building on their way to school.
Thanks so much for bringing this up.
Rich Youngsters were encouraged to walk around the other side of the building on their way to school.
When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
She looks like she was VERY happy the night before!
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Tom Waits's "swizzle stick legs jackknifed over a naugahyde stool" seems to describe her very well.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Betty Boop's grandma?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Pat, Speaking of Betty Boop, notice the tie that KD is wearing in the St. Swithin's day parade.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
It had to have been an uncommonly cold July 15 for the paraders to turn out bundled up like that. This would seem to indicate the photo dates from St. Swithin’s Day, 1925, which holds the coldest recorded temperature for the Tri-burg Basin in well over a century. Wags quipped it was owing to the presidential campaign slogan, “Keep cool with Coolidge”.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Was this taken during the Regatta?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Herb, it may be some distortion of the camera lens. Here is a close up from a different angle. It appears to be a cranberry speckled Tom Trout on the hook. They are quite plentiful in Stinkwater creek near Killarney. That is where Chadwick Larkvonnet spent time during the season. You are right that it occurred during the Regatta.
The creel appears to be a Peterson-Swashburm as Chadwick often used.When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Rich,
I beg to disagree. I believe the catch was a rare "felineous odiferous post-mortimous". The very breed that gave Stinkwater its name. Hopefully, it was a catch & release situation, since they were out-of-season during the Regatta, as I understand it.
It's likely that the creel contained a bouquet of heliotropes, to offset the malodorous breezes.
I beg to disagree. I believe the catch was a rare "felineous odiferous post-mortimous". The very breed that gave Stinkwater its name. Hopefully, it was a catch & release situation, since they were out-of-season during the Regatta, as I understand it.
It's likely that the creel contained a bouquet of heliotropes, to offset the malodorous breezes.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Who is this guy?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Well he's obviously Dutch, what with the wooden clogs and "High Water Trouser legs" as they are still called here. He is showing off his new fangled sun glasses while sipping his imported Heineken. And he must have just robbed an old lady of her handbag, brandishing his fancy nickle plated sixgun.
He could well be the young Colonel Parker shortly after his immigration to the USA from the Netherlands.
This picture raises more questions than it answers !
He could well be the young Colonel Parker shortly after his immigration to the USA from the Netherlands.
This picture raises more questions than it answers !
When in trouble, do not fear, blame the second engineer ! 
Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
'23 Huckster, '66 CJ5 daily driver

Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
'23 Huckster, '66 CJ5 daily driver
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Studio portraits were all the rage and Fackrell's Studio, kitty corner from Ernie's, got more than their share of business.
You may recall that Klambauker was Chief Accountant at the Helix mill during the left hand wind years.
Rich
Spittford Klambauker had his done a number of times. Liquid refreshment was always at hand as the posing sometimes took a while. You may recall that Klambauker was Chief Accountant at the Helix mill during the left hand wind years.
Rich
When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
The left hand wind times were surely hard times, persistent wind from left or right (as in our days) is never a good thing.
When in trouble, do not fear, blame the second engineer ! 
Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
'23 Huckster, '66 CJ5 daily driver

Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Yes Leo, that is pretty much the yin and yang of it. And with the happy valley in the center of it all. Left to Right, Up to Down, and Spiral to Corkscrew.
Rich
What Colonel Parker didn't in one pocket, Spittford Klambauker had in the other. And that is only part of the reason they called Ernie's "Ernie's". It's just one of the wonderful miracles of those times.Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
That topographical map of Chugwater and the basin also accounts for the popular Wyoming expression, “. . . up the ying-yang . . .”
And while we’re considering linguistic conundrums, it’s worth pausing to reflect on the number of times Spitford Klambauker was asked if he was related to Kalamity Dick (Richard Q. Klamitboffer). The reply was always an emphatic “NO !” by both parties, for personal reasons which have not as yet been revealed. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Spitford spelled his surname with a “V” although no one else (including his relatives) did.
And while we’re considering linguistic conundrums, it’s worth pausing to reflect on the number of times Spitford Klambauker was asked if he was related to Kalamity Dick (Richard Q. Klamitboffer). The reply was always an emphatic “NO !” by both parties, for personal reasons which have not as yet been revealed. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Spitford spelled his surname with a “V” although no one else (including his relatives) did.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
This one leaves a lot of questions to be answered.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
It might be part of the father and son race after the Larkvonnet reunion picnic devilled Firecracker Frog's Feet eating contest to the outhouse. You may recall that it was cancelled for the following several years.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
I thought it might have something to do with escaping from what looks like a picnic in the background.
Who knows?
Who knows?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Bartholomew and the Institute staff easily identified the pair as Philo Finsterweisel and his son, Fliegle. The pair were extremely fleet of foot, and had a reputation for “buzzing” picnickers, often plucking tidbits from their fingers as they raced past. This photo may well be from the Larkvonnet reunion. Fliegle was especially fond of devilled frogs legs, and Aunt Granny Ida’s “Firecracker” recipe would have been especially tempting. No one ever beat the Finsterweisels to the outhouse !
Side note: Kalamity Dick did not attend the picnic that year, being so engrossed in the development of an improved thermocompulator valve for the model “Q” kaphistulator he didn’t leave the workshop for three straight weeks. Aunt Granny sent him a basket of firecracker devilled frog legs as consolation. Fortunately, KD had indoor plumbing.
Side note: Kalamity Dick did not attend the picnic that year, being so engrossed in the development of an improved thermocompulator valve for the model “Q” kaphistulator he didn’t leave the workshop for three straight weeks. Aunt Granny sent him a basket of firecracker devilled frog legs as consolation. Fortunately, KD had indoor plumbing.
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Thanks for mentioning the Model “Q” valve Rich. I was just reading the notes from KD's struggle with it and found this photo of him festering the stiltskin seat. It's not certain who took the photo but the lens flair suggests a number 36 movement.
Rich
I could go for some devilled frog legs right now.Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
A bear necessity.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
The recently mentioned Colonel Parker is not to be confused in
modern day recollections with the celebrated Colonel Porker, Chief
Ventricular Agent for the Hespidrome in Saddlestring. Col. Porker
told reporter Claude Grubwurm of Warts & Lesions Magazine in 1921
that the only reason he located the Hespidrome there was because
of the abundance of woonsocketry in the nearby area. Chugwater
having none at all. He said he preferred the ambiance and amenities
of the latter, including the close proximity to Ernie's and the direct
access to the Vestibule Factory, but all said and done, the shipping
of woonsockets would have doomed the venture in Chugwater. The
Pythagorian culture has always produced highly skilled woonsocketeers,
and many were settled around Saddlestring, eagerly bringing their
expertise to the production floors and making the Porker Woonsocket
Works what it is today. Col. Porker worked directly with Kalamity Dick
to modify the No.36 Movement to the now-familiar Morning No.2 Bowel
Movement, ensuring both comfort and increased productivity for the
company personnel.
modern day recollections with the celebrated Colonel Porker, Chief
Ventricular Agent for the Hespidrome in Saddlestring. Col. Porker
told reporter Claude Grubwurm of Warts & Lesions Magazine in 1921
that the only reason he located the Hespidrome there was because
of the abundance of woonsocketry in the nearby area. Chugwater
having none at all. He said he preferred the ambiance and amenities
of the latter, including the close proximity to Ernie's and the direct
access to the Vestibule Factory, but all said and done, the shipping
of woonsockets would have doomed the venture in Chugwater. The
Pythagorian culture has always produced highly skilled woonsocketeers,
and many were settled around Saddlestring, eagerly bringing their
expertise to the production floors and making the Porker Woonsocket
Works what it is today. Col. Porker worked directly with Kalamity Dick
to modify the No.36 Movement to the now-familiar Morning No.2 Bowel
Movement, ensuring both comfort and increased productivity for the
company personnel.
More people are doing it today than ever before !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Apologies for these latest posts being out of sequence. Col. Porker eschewed all forms of paperwork and its attendant need for office personnel and procedures. He trained a bear cub to answer the telephone and act as receptionist at the front counter. When the cub grew to full size, interruptions from outside enquiries were practically eliminated.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Col. Porker's success with the bear led to a much larger success
in dealing with aggressive car warranty scammers. Bears were
trained in IT and advanced methods of computer hacking, then
given free reign to exact their "price" upon those they showed up
upon the doorstep of. Endorsed by both the Uvula League and
the Board of Decency, the "Bear Team" so effectively dispatched
such purveyors of ill intention that 99% of their work is done out-
-side Calhoun County today.
in dealing with aggressive car warranty scammers. Bears were
trained in IT and advanced methods of computer hacking, then
given free reign to exact their "price" upon those they showed up
upon the doorstep of. Endorsed by both the Uvula League and
the Board of Decency, the "Bear Team" so effectively dispatched
such purveyors of ill intention that 99% of their work is done out-
-side Calhoun County today.
More people are doing it today than ever before !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
I think most of the rascals migrated to Texas. Unfortunately, bears are in chronic short supply here.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
I submit the following for your review and comment...
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Franz von Pillenwerfer, of Vaudeville fame?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
It is clear which of the famous Klamitboffer twins drew the short straw..
When in trouble, do not fear, blame the second engineer ! 
Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
'23 Huckster, '66 CJ5 daily driver

Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
'23 Huckster, '66 CJ5 daily driver
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Pistachio Klamitboffer was Kalamity Dick’s second cousin twice removed. He would have been three times removed, but he finally took the hint and joined Uncle Rutherford’s Burlesque & Vaudeville Review, first as a stage hand, and later as a ventriloquist act under the stage name “Franz Von Pillenwerfer”. Taking inspiration from KD’s prediction that he would never get ahead in life, his “dummy” was a convincingly life-like wax effigy of himself. He based his stage patter on his real-life persona, he was always talking to himself anyway, off-stage or on.
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Unconfirmed rumors suggest that Franz married a Dictaphone...
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Kalamity Dick took great interest in Pistachio's career. Here he is going over some of his many reviews.
Thanks again,
Rich
It bears mentioning that Herb's photo depicts an example of "Three Ring Service".Thanks again,
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
It is not generally known that KD was the inventor of the first upside down car wash, This was an idea that did not catch on very well for apparent various reasons.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
A three-dip pan with lock washers.
True it didn't catch on but was lots of fun.
Rich
True it didn't catch on but was lots of fun.
Rich
When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
The option to stay in your car during the car wash was quickly eliminated.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Another case of "Turns over but won't start"?
When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
The inverted car wash concept DID find terrific success for KD when
the idea was applied to the face workings at the Alphabet Mine. Using
reversed gravitation through an inverted spectrolator, the miners discovered
an entirely unknown ore body right there over their heads, unrecognized
due to being upside down to normal viewing perspective. Reluctantly, KD
accepted a .00125% royalty for the use of his idea, but the sheer volume
of gained mine yield over the next 50 years allowed Kalamity Dick to work
the rest of his life without want for funds, farkles, or the free flow of Happy
Sally at Ernies.
the idea was applied to the face workings at the Alphabet Mine. Using
reversed gravitation through an inverted spectrolator, the miners discovered
an entirely unknown ore body right there over their heads, unrecognized
due to being upside down to normal viewing perspective. Reluctantly, KD
accepted a .00125% royalty for the use of his idea, but the sheer volume
of gained mine yield over the next 50 years allowed Kalamity Dick to work
the rest of his life without want for funds, farkles, or the free flow of Happy
Sally at Ernies.
More people are doing it today than ever before !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
KD developed the same principal to drink Happy Sally from the bottle without tipping it up. Some, however, still preferred to drink it from a shot glass.
When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Where was Redwood Flats?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Avoiding bottle-tipping was widely practiced by thrifty persons during the war years with the aim of avoiding the odious "Tippler Tax", which was one of several wartime "nuisance taxes" imposed at the urging of the "Carrie's Nation" temperance organization.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Presumably Redwood Flat was (is ?) located in northern California. Photo looks like a tourist camp.
Not to be confused with “Redwood Fats”, a pool hall hustler who blew into the Tri-Burgs after he was run out of Crescent City. His signature move was to sink the final eight-ball . . . on an adjacent pool table. Ernie banned him from the saloon after he had cleaned out most of the locals. No one could afford another flagon of Happy Sally. Fats was definitely bad for business. It was rumored Kalamity Dick had put up the blueprints for the fifth generation improved kaphlopitometer in a final wager, and lost them to the intrepid Redwood Fats, who left town the same night. The Kaphlopitometer V was never built, so one can assume Fats didn’t have the means to profit from KD’s genius.
Not to be confused with “Redwood Fats”, a pool hall hustler who blew into the Tri-Burgs after he was run out of Crescent City. His signature move was to sink the final eight-ball . . . on an adjacent pool table. Ernie banned him from the saloon after he had cleaned out most of the locals. No one could afford another flagon of Happy Sally. Fats was definitely bad for business. It was rumored Kalamity Dick had put up the blueprints for the fifth generation improved kaphlopitometer in a final wager, and lost them to the intrepid Redwood Fats, who left town the same night. The Kaphlopitometer V was never built, so one can assume Fats didn’t have the means to profit from KD’s genius.
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Where IS Redwood Flat...
"Smithe Redwoods State Natural Reserve is a California state park in Mendocino County. In the early 20th century, the site was purchased by Mulford Miller and W. A. S. Foster, before passing into the hands of W. S. Ware and Lester Goble in 1940. Originally a site known as Lane's Redwood Flat, the area contained cabins, a store, a post office, and a bus stop during that incarnation. In 1963, the site was proposed to be sold to a logging company, but instead entered the jurisdiction of the California Department of Parks and Recreation. The South Fork Eel River passes through the park, which contains a waterfall, as well as sites for recreation on the river and picnicking."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smithe_Re ... al_Reserve
Oddly, no mention of KD in its history. A regrettable oversight to be sure!
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
This has me stumped !
When in trouble, do not fear, blame the second engineer ! 
Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
'23 Huckster, '66 CJ5 daily driver

Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
'23 Huckster, '66 CJ5 daily driver
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Is there any truth to the rumor of KD inventing an automatic, rapid firing, blunderbuss?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Jerry, none whatsoever. Firearms were anathema to KD.
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Wasn't CW Smutney related to one of the Mayors at Chugwater?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Charles Woolstenhume Smutney was Chugwater’s premier clothier and purveyor of men’s furnishings from 1872 until his death in1928. A fashion trend setter, the common wisdom is that he was responsible for encouraging Kalamity Dick to affect the top-hat that became his signature. His cousin Ignace P. Smutney was elected Mayor of Chugwater for three non-consecutive terms between 1885 and 1910. The consensus of opinion is that his successful bids for election depended mostly on name recognition and the prominence of C.W.’s haberdashery.
Ignace’s campaign slogan was simply : “Suits Me !”.
Ignace’s campaign slogan was simply : “Suits Me !”.
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Yes, as Rich mentioned, "the top-hat ... became his signature" as well as his many pearls of wisdom. Smutney handled several fine lines such as Stradlater, Comefort and Stromberg as well as some law suits. Had it not been for the mohair scare in '09, he would certainly be a leader in the field today.
When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Was this his wife or girlfriend?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
That was his cousin Minnie, from Grinderswitch! Maybe KD was related to her uncle Nabob?
Apparently, they shop for hats in the same place!
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
The Stromberg Homburg was a popular mens' accessory of impeccable quality around the turn of the century. Many old timers still shudder at the thought of the Goat Riots of 1909, when Eastern Unionists attempted to organize Texas Goats against the Wool Gatherer's Guild and Big Mohair. After two weeks, more or less, of intense civil commotion, and many bottoms brutally butted, it was determined that the goats were simply too capricious to ever be successfully organized, and once again, the mohair flowed.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Mohair floes were set for times between the big mushroom moss drives.
While the Chugwater runs slow and deep through most of its travel across
the basin, both uses of the river pretty much utilised its entire capacity for
the durations each took to get their product to its destination. Each industry
came to an abrupt halt during the Regatta (for obvious reasons), and it was
a good thing that the Captains of said industries were well invested in the event
and took kindly to the cessation of work to partake of the festivities.
While the Chugwater runs slow and deep through most of its travel across
the basin, both uses of the river pretty much utilised its entire capacity for
the durations each took to get their product to its destination. Each industry
came to an abrupt halt during the Regatta (for obvious reasons), and it was
a good thing that the Captains of said industries were well invested in the event
and took kindly to the cessation of work to partake of the festivities.
More people are doing it today than ever before !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
This said Circus performers on the back.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Them look like 'little people' with a big #ss house ...
When in trouble, do not fear, blame the second engineer ! 
Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
'23 Huckster, '66 CJ5 daily driver

Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
They may be Russian. Note the unusually high placement of the windows...
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
I agree with Jerry. "second floor". Maybe even third floor.
Is it an International?
Rich
Is it an International?
Rich
When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Mobile Munchkin Mansion?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Do you think they ordered some heads from a spurious parts supplier and got this?>
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
That appears to be a shipment of assorted Newsboy heads.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
It's a contest sponsored by Ernie's to see which one is "Jack" in the box
1922 Coupe & 1927 Touring
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Is that the Vaudeville act "New Kids in the Box"? A smash hit at the Chugwater Excelsior Theater and winners of the 1909 Festival of Excitement Talent Show, I believe! Who can recall their most popular number?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
“New Kids in the Box” was a popular vaudeville act comprised of newsboys from the Bronx. Their manager found it most economical to ship them by rail to various engagements throughout the country. When they arrived in Chugwater, Ernie made a bundle on side bets as to who could identify lead singer Jack Findlestrop who opened their show with a spirited rendition of “Cows May Come, Cows May Go, But the Bull Will Go on Forever”, #1 in sheet music sales for 1908.
Herb collaborated with the Institute to propose this historical puzzle, awarding an all-expenses paid week-long vacation trip to Chugwater for this year’s St. Swithin’s Day festivities. Congratulations to you three, Pat, Dennis and Jerry for providing all the correct answers. Contest judges decided to have the three of you share the prize !
You each will receive a bus ticket which will carry you one-third of the way from your homes to Chugwater. You will share accommodations in a room above Ernie’s saloon where you may sleep three to the bed (a little crowded, but doable) and meal tickets for one meal a day at Aunt Granny’s Bistro and Sausage Factory during your stay. Have fun, fellows, and again, congratulations !!
Herb collaborated with the Institute to propose this historical puzzle, awarding an all-expenses paid week-long vacation trip to Chugwater for this year’s St. Swithin’s Day festivities. Congratulations to you three, Pat, Dennis and Jerry for providing all the correct answers. Contest judges decided to have the three of you share the prize !
You each will receive a bus ticket which will carry you one-third of the way from your homes to Chugwater. You will share accommodations in a room above Ernie’s saloon where you may sleep three to the bed (a little crowded, but doable) and meal tickets for one meal a day at Aunt Granny’s Bistro and Sausage Factory during your stay. Have fun, fellows, and again, congratulations !!
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Rich P. Bingham wrote: ↑Fri Jun 21, 2024 10:03 amCongratulations to you three, Pat, Dennis and Jerry for providing all the correct answers. Contest judges decided to have the three of you share the prize !
You each will receive a bus ticket which will carry you one-third of the way from your homes to Chugwater. You will share accommodations in a room above Ernie’s saloon where you may sleep three to the bed (a little crowded, but doable) and meal tickets for one meal a day at Aunt Granny’s Bistro and Sausage Factory during your stay. Have fun, fellows, and again, congratulations !!

I hope Pat & Dennis do not snore...
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
If you have 3 guys and 1 bed, you take the bed apart. One gets the mattress, one gets the box spring and blanket, and one gets whatever is left over, like a sheet and a thick bed spread, if he's lucky. Lots can be drawn for the pillow or pillows. Of course, at Ernie's on a good night, a thin native girl or two might be available... Beyond that, diligent consumption of Ernie's house libations can make even a splintery bare floor comfortable by the time guests "hit the hay".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Let's not overthink this Pat.TXGOAT2 wrote: ↑Fri Jun 21, 2024 11:45 amIf you have 3 guys and 1 bed, you take the bed apart. One gets the mattress, one gets the box spring and blanket, and one gets whatever is left over, like a sheet and a thick bed spread, if he's lucky. Lots can be drawn for the pillow or pillows. Of course, at Ernie's on a good night, a thin native girl or two might be available... Beyond that, diligent consumption of Ernie's house libations can make even a splintery bare floor comfortable by the time guests "hit the hay".

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Similarly, was the "Band-in-a-Box" often ordered for the Pomegranate Festival Parade held a week before the Regatta.
Duke Fitzellwitz was not a part of this ensemble so not shown here, Also no sign of the woodwinds as the box wood was thought to be infested with mites.When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Do I see by the drum skin, that this particular Band-In-A-Box was none other than that of "The Loyal Order of Otters"?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Yes, Jerry. If we zoom in on Burnnie's hat emblem, I believe we see this.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Salvete luter nobilis, rex rodentorum!
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
On the otter hand....
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Roy Pounds saved me the time.
Rich
ThanksRich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Does 'OT' mean Otter Topic ? I am otterly disgusted at the turn this topic is taking, surely i'm not the only one, otter forum users must have the same feelings.
I hope the admin will put a stop to it, otterwise i'll have to look out for some otter forum to join..
I hope the admin will put a stop to it, otterwise i'll have to look out for some otter forum to join..
When in trouble, do not fear, blame the second engineer ! 
Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
'23 Huckster, '66 CJ5 daily driver

Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Kaiser, our apologies. You are not the only one who objected. The Loyal Order of Muskrats registered a serious complaint with the Institute Board of Trustees.
No doubt this lapse was owing to the absence of our Institute staff, who were on their annual St. Swithun’s Day vacation at the time. Incidentally, a belated happy St. Swithun’s Day (Monday last, July 15) to all our faithful contributors.
No doubt this lapse was owing to the absence of our Institute staff, who were on their annual St. Swithun’s Day vacation at the time. Incidentally, a belated happy St. Swithun’s Day (Monday last, July 15) to all our faithful contributors.
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Next it will be the National Woodchuck Registry...Rich P. Bingham wrote: ↑Fri Jul 19, 2024 10:17 amKaiser, our apologies. You are not the only one who objected. The Loyal Order of Muskrats registered a serious complaint with the Institute Board of Trustees.
No doubt this lapse was owing to the absence of our Institute staff, who were on their annual St. Swithun’s Day vacation at the time. Incidentally, a belated happy St. Swithun’s Day (Monday last, July 15) to all our faithful contributors.

Thank you for reminding me of St. Swithun's Day. The family and I had a picnic and swam in the old lake bed.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Don't forget the Woodchuck Registry is a formal affair
1922 Coupe & 1927 Touring
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Yes, yes, yes... But what of our old friend Kalamity Dick and his legendary exploits?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Thanks for asking, Jerry. You may recollect that KD and Tyronne were avidly involved in the otter hunts. Otter oil, as well as keeping he otters from squeaking, was a wonderful lubricant for the gasmotrisper fintler bushings. Although it degraded the snipple windings if let to migrate to them.
Don't forget the Instit6ute reunion on the 25th.
Thanks
Rich
Thankfully, no harm came to the otter if squeezed to only 35 milometer-pounds. Some however got a bit chewed up by the hounds. Don't forget the Instit6ute reunion on the 25th.
Thanks
Rich
When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
What is going on here?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Green energy is not a new concept. In the early days, coal was expensive and sometimes hard to get. In this photo they have stopped on shore and supplying feed for the horses inside the sphere of K. D's Experimental Equestrian powered Watercraft he nicknamed the Galloping Galleon. Unfortunately Aloysius Rockufella, coal baron and inventor of the sternwheeler, filed suit for patent infringement and campaigned with the local animal rights group to "Save the Horses, Buy Coal". It was the demise of the 2-E-W.
A detailed report will be available at the upcoming reunion.
A detailed report will be available at the upcoming reunion.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
KD applied to his good friend Cuthbert to supply horses for the “Galloping Galleon” knowing they would be sound, well-rounded horses. However, as willing and solid as they were, eventually they soured to the work, objecting to not being able to see where they were going. KD attempted to remedy the lapse with a System of interior mirrors, but the effect was like a dance-hall disco-ball. It made the horses dizzy.
Photo - Hyperion, asked to report for work says “neigh !”
Photo - Hyperion, asked to report for work says “neigh !”
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Rumors persist of a moose-powered Canadian version, but no evidence of such a vessel has come to light.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
I would expect the rotating mass of "horse exhaust" within the sphere may have also been a factor in the success/failure of the Galloping Galleon.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Jerry, it’s always amusing to note how invariably, many readers instantly focus on the scatological whenever the subject turns to horses. This phenomenon was dealt with in a monograph by Heinrich, the Institute’s chief researcher, who concluded a twofold cause: A. total absence of experience with, and/or, knowledge of horses, their management and habits; B. aberrations in the early toilet training of the subjects who participated in the study.
To address your assumption, the “Galleon’s” horses worked four-hour intervals, as is customary with draft teams. Breaks for food and water allowed the animals opportunity to attend to bodily functions. To put it short, entering the “Galleon” they were “house broke”. “Exhaust” never proved to be a problem.
To address your assumption, the “Galleon’s” horses worked four-hour intervals, as is customary with draft teams. Breaks for food and water allowed the animals opportunity to attend to bodily functions. To put it short, entering the “Galleon” they were “house broke”. “Exhaust” never proved to be a problem.
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Well, there you have it... Good ole Heinrich to the rescue.Rich P. Bingham wrote: ↑Fri Jul 26, 2024 12:00 pmJerry, it’s always amusing to note how invariably, many readers instantly focus on the scatological whenever the subject turns to horses. This phenomenon was dealt with in a monograph by Heinrich, the Institute’s chief researcher, who concluded a twofold cause: A. total absence of experience with, and/or, knowledge of horses, their management and habits; B. aberrations in the early toilet training of the subjects who participated in the study.
To address your assumption, the “Galleon’s” horses worked four-hour intervals, as is customary with draft teams. Breaks for food and water allowed the animals opportunity to attend to bodily functions. To put it short, entering the “Galleon” they were “house broke”. “Exhaust” never proved to be a problem.
In my case, I claim cause "A" for my mistaken notions of horse expulsions. Father used to exclaim, on several fitting and appropriate occasions, that, "a horse that sh..s fast, don't sh.. long". I'll have to see what Heinrich has to say about that. I would hate to further propagate these unfortunate myths & misconceptions, which leave the equine community among us in such bad rapport. Neigh, let it not be said that I would further trample on the downtrotten!
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Jerry, thank you for an astute and well-considered reply. Your father was a wise man, and a keen observer of equine traits. Indeed, that difference gave rise to other colorful quips from the horse-drawn era that remain with us to this day, such as, “pooping along”, “farting around”, and the ever-popular “that’s just horseshit !”.
In any case, we can be assured that KD most certainly considered this minor detail when he first conceived of the “Galloping Galleon”. Bartholomew tells us the main power sphere served as a cement mixer at the alphabet mine after the Galleon was decommissioned.
In any case, we can be assured that KD most certainly considered this minor detail when he first conceived of the “Galloping Galleon”. Bartholomew tells us the main power sphere served as a cement mixer at the alphabet mine after the Galleon was decommissioned.
Last edited by Rich P. Bingham on Tue Aug 06, 2024 10:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Get a horse !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
You may recall that the Twirling Galleon was the inspiration for the spirofinnigan in Kd's Gyrokastroxiter. Rumor has it that Aloysius was just horsing around when he initially designed it to be multi axial.
By the way, the reunion was a success. Several tipsy attendees were rolled down the hill afterwards.When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
Rich,Rich Eagle wrote: ↑Wed Jul 31, 2024 6:05 pmYou may recall that the Twirling Galleon was the inspiration for the spirofinnigan in Kd's Gyrokastroxiter. Rumor has it that Aloysius was just horsing around when he initially designed it to be multi axial.
gyro2.jpg
By the way, the reunion was a success. Several tipsy attendees were rolled down the hill afterwards.
I want to live in your world.

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
"I want to live in your world.
"
You are welcome to, Jerry. There is a lot of free space in there and you only have to lose part of your mind.

You are welcome to, Jerry. There is a lot of free space in there and you only have to lose part of your mind.
When did I do that?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
I think this was at the Regatta, but only one year.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?
I believe he is divining for water, while the ladies are doing a rain dance. Could this be the year that the Regatta was rained out? A.K.A., "The Great Dampening of 1913". A great many cattle were dampened at that time.