OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

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OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:20 pm

DickCvr6mby.jpg
“Many claim Kalamity Dick was a fictitious character made up to frighten children from playing with mechanical objects. However, pictures of this mysterious fellow surface from time to time. Was he real?
As I heard it he was an itinerant tinkerer who traveled in his Raceabout from town to town throughout the West repairing old Fords and inventing contraptions for those in need.”
http://www.mtfca.com/discus/messages/82 ... 1546817020
BEWARE, Some of the facts and statements shown here MAY be erroneous due to rumor, poor reporting or downright humorous entertainment. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.
DicknHooey2b.jpg
You may recall that Kalamity Dick was called in to investigate spam smuggling in his later years. His triple wound gilderfluke could detect spam from up to 4 miles away even if sealed in it’s tin. Here he is shown with Inspector Krasswinkle planning a raid on gang members later that same year. The skirmish went off flawlessly and Dick hadn’t fired a shot. A commendation still hangs in Ernie’s Bar thanking him. Forensics experts from all over the western states depended on his techniques to solve tough cases. Sometime even just a six-pack.
Organized crime had put several hits out on the inventor but could not penetrate the security of Ernie’s basement. Inspector Krasswinkle had hired on as bartender and ran a pretty tight ship. Sadie was on guard 24/7.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:56 pm

Ah, yes. The Spam Smuggling Adventure. I recall it well. It seems certain pork-barreling politicians had opened a pipe-line from Mexico, bringing in the pork-bellies which were undermining the domestic spam trade. Kalamity contacted his old pal "Mad Dog" Maddox, who by this time had settled down on a ranch in Patagonia (Arizona, not Argentina) near the Mexican border. Kalamity sent messages via audio-telly-o-tally-o-graph (the device was another Klamitboffer first, pre-sageing the modern cell-phone) alerting Maddox to the spam smuggling crisis. Having adopted the "spanglish" border patois since moving south, "Mad-Dog" responded to Dick's request replying "? Porque ?" to which Kalamity replied, "Porque de pig." which cleared everything up.

Now fully understanding the importance of gathering intelligence for Kalamity Dick, Maddox dusted off his old-model flackerspoth guilderfluke, which worked very well to identify contraband hogs, although not at the extended range Dick's machine with its later improvements. Stateside spam producers went hog-wild with joy when the smuggling ring was broken up owing to Dick's efforts. Maddox received a gift certificate to the local Piggly-Wiggly in the amount of $1.68 for his part in the successful effort to end smuggled spam.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jan 10, 2019 3:10 pm

image.jpg
"Mad Dog" Maddox about the time of the spam incident on his paint mare "Demelza". The fabled zebra dun mule had passed away some years before.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:42 pm

Dick was often asked how one could detect Spam with a gilderfluke. It certainly wasn’t intended for that purpose. It seems the tuning fork mechanism wave length of the gilderfluke is so near the frequency of the reaction of the potato starch with the sodium nitrate in the Spam that a slight hopping action occurs. Attaching a vimbrometer gives both direction and distance readings. As I remember it is like taking a prime number, sanding it with 600 and then giving a light mist coat followed by a full wet coat.
I wouldn’t bring this up but the phone has been ringing off the hook with calls from the hall of sprimtoffrogaphy. I am glad to see the photo of “Mad Dog” mounted.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:45 pm

And we are OFF !!!!
Boy, one can say that again and again and again ---!

Did Dick ever use the Flintlock Flack Flinger deFensive oFFense Frusterator?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:14 pm

Wayne, I don't know if Dick ever had a use for a flintlock flack flinger, but I do know Cuthbert (Mad Dog) Maddox did convert one for use in eradicating gophers during the Patagonian Gopher Epidemic of '33. He utilized dessicated sodium nitrate and re-constituted potato starch from a confiscated load of contraband spam as a high explosive; the flintlock flack flinger mechanism was an inexpensive means of detonating the charges. Not very effective overall, but it was fun for the kids who were recruited to blow up the gopher mounds, and hell on the gophers.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by tmodeldriver » Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:54 pm

I am very relieved that the saga of Kalamity Dick was able to cross over the recent divide. ;)

I was told this for the truth so it probably ain't, that Mad Dog, in addition to his reward of $1.68 from Piggly-Wiggly, was also allowed to check the store room and help hisself to any dented cans of Spam he could find.

He was once accused of dropping a few cans and denting them on purpose but I'm pretty sure that was a bald faced lie made up by a jealous customer.

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:14 pm

Sorry Wayne. Flintlock Flack Flinger deFensive oFFense Frusterator did not come up on the encoder. A French Fluke Finger Flinger Fackenpoth was on display at the museum next to Ernie's. It looks brand new so probably not used by Dick himself. I will keep looking.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Thu Jan 10, 2019 8:56 pm

Finally! Fully FilisoFical Findings oF Facts!


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Grizwaldo » Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:50 pm

The torch has been brought forward and the conflagration is beginning ignite.


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by mtntee20 » Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:24 pm

I found this photo:
proxy.duckduckgo.com.jpeg
If my memory is in tact tonight, I believe this is the first big catch Dick found with his gilderfluke. The black market price of the haul was placed at something like $29.95. While "Mad Dog" go the contents for gopher control, what did they do with all the counterfeit cans? From the stories, I remember the cans were easy to identify since the text was in Spanish and the Minimum Adult Requirement data was off by 10%. Another dead giveaway was something about the contents smelling of jalapenos and wool. But, I guess there was a market for it here. I'm sure Dick didn't find ALL of the shipments and some must have been sold and eaten. Does anybody have any recipes for Spam from Dick or Cuthbert? Did those recipes use real or "imported" Spam? Sure am glad Dick and Cuthbert got that invasion stopped. Who knows what it could have led to?

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 11, 2019 10:42 pm

Jalapenos and wool was an attempt to distort the sonic wave given off by the potato starch and sodium nitrate. A slight vimbrometer adjustment suppressed that. The side arm of the agent in your photograph shows how serious this smuggling was taken. That is not a monkey wrench I assure you. The other two agents are squatting for cover as the shipment was heavily guarded. This time the henchmen had taken a wrong turn at Hupmobile Rock and never did catch up with the huckster. It's a fortunate turn of events as they were each equipped with the previous noted Flintlock Flack Flinger Frusterators. The eradication of inferior Spam was heralded as the salvation of the century by those who knew Spam as a delicacy. How ever you don't see mention of it in our history books for purely political reasons. Since this forum is not the place for that I will only say "Let them eat Turkey".
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:49 am

Not to deviate from our prime subject but here are a few of the smugglers that were brought up on charges. Some 12 volt and others 6. The judge was accused of cruelty but commended for creativity. Among them was a "Percy Kete" I'm sure no relation to our friend Perry. These fellows were sentenced to 20 years hard labor crushing counterfeit spam with sledge hammers. Three of them contracted spamitis and suffered horribly from it nearly til Groundhogs Day.
Just remember "Crime does not Pay".
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Jan 12, 2019 11:29 am

Not to worry. It's in the best interest of historical accuracy to follow up all these topics wherever they lead us. Usually they lead us right back to the adventures of Kalamity Dick. As in this case of the jail birds pictured above: identified left to right, Ruff Tumble, Jack Hupp, Tim Horn (top) Percy Kete (below) Lon Walker, Rhett Budd and Con Victor. (Do those horizontal stripes make them look fat ?)

Of special interest, Hupp, Horn, Budd and Victor had been members of Slug Spaydaford's outlaw gang before they disbanded, and obviously continued to lead a life of crime. Some folks never learn. Side note, the prison had run out of counterfeit spam by the following St. Swithin's Day, and the governor commuted the sentences of Tumble, Kete and Walker saying they had suffered enough owing to chronic spamitis. For some odd reason it appears Spaydaford's old cronies seemed immune. Who knows ? I sure don't.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Jan 12, 2019 12:17 pm

Just a side note for TV fans. It was pronounced Spam-a-tite-ass in the second season episode of the Spaydaford Wives series. How Dare They?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Jan 12, 2019 1:36 pm

:shock: Slug was a polygamist ?!? :shock:
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by mtntee20 » Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:07 pm

It hasn't been posted as to where that prison was located. Must have been an upscale jailbird house as the men are wearing suit vests, ties, and have pocket watches, with chains. Most prisons I know about, do not allow watches and/or chains. But then again, this prison was long before the modern pens of today.

Glad to see the Gov. commuted the sentences for some of the boys. Spamitis is nothing to be trifled with.

Yes, Slug was a polygamist. He could play 4 games of checkers at one time and usually win 3 out of the 4. It was a side effect of the spamitis.


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Jan 12, 2019 4:18 pm

Terry, a momentary lapse in recounting this history. The spam smugglers (also referred to in the newspaper accounts of the trial as the "smug spammers" - they were a cheeky lot, contempt of court was added to their infractions) were incarcerated in the Wyoming pen at Rawlins. Inmates loved being out "where the deer and the antelope play." See below
image.jpg
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by mtntee20 » Sat Jan 12, 2019 5:49 pm

Rich,

Thank you for the clarification of the prison the smug spammers were held in. In doing a little more research, I am afraid I have some terrible news. I found a photo that clearly shows the smuggling operation was a success despite Kalamity's and Cuthbert's expertise.
s-l225.jpg
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This photo clearly shows Bigfoot, captured in the Northwest (probably Washington state or perhaps Oregon state) with a can of smuggled spam. Evidently, the smuggling operation was much larger than any one of us could have imagined. With this evidence, what long term damage might have been done?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Jan 12, 2019 6:33 pm

Terry, we can only guess at the consequences. However, that explains this photo Cuthbert kept in a file marked "bottom secret". Notes explain he was able to surreptitiously snap the picture of a stock clerk in the Patagonia Piggly-Wiggly when he went to collect his bonus of dented spam cans. He never went back for more.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Jan 12, 2019 7:09 pm

There were rumors that strange creatures, even mutants were sighted roaming around Rawlins particularly near the crushing sites. Further stories were that Percy had trained some of them to run errands for him. Whereas Rawlins is tucked between the mountains lots of strange
occurrences were told of.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by mtntee20 » Sat Jan 12, 2019 9:15 pm

Now I know why I always got that eerie feeling of being watched when we stopped in Rawlins for gas and restrooms, late at night. Next time, I'll consider packing an auxiliary fuel tank so I don't have to stop in town. After seeing that mutant chicken, I'm not sure if a person could drive fast enough to get away from it flying after you. It could probably catch you by running if it had to. I had better get a bigger truck!


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sat Jan 12, 2019 11:02 pm

In an early log entry, Kalamity noted stopping in Rawlins BECAUSE of gas and mushrooms.
The proliferation of mushroom stands along the routes leading into Rawlins were an offshoot
of the feathered chaps industry, according to county records.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:32 am

Rawlins is a very nice place. Don't get me wrong. I visited my uncle there a couple of times and it was delightful. I do know the creepy feeling that we sometimes get for no particular reason.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sun Jan 13, 2019 8:18 pm

The high demand for parakeet feathered chaps did indeed spam uh, I mean spawn, some odd enterprises. Among them was the effort by a local chicken rancher name of Tex Rooster (pictured in Rich's post above) who led an unsuccessful attempt to popularize chaps made of chicken feathers. Tex periodically dressed in that chicken costume to promote his product. He would gather a crowd by handing out free cans of spam before going into his chicken dance. Likely some of the spam he gave away was the contraband product.

Tex came to a bad end on a promotional tour when he decided to ride his horse down Rawlins' main street dressed in the chicken outfit. He hatched the idea upon noting the considerable spurs on the costume's chicken feet, but he hadn't reckoned on his horse's response, however. As he mounted his horse, the animal became dangerously affrighted by the fluttering of Rooster's wings and impressive tail, and began bucking hard. Poor Tex was thrown high into the air, and a near-sighted pheasant hunter on the other side of the neighboring hedge shot him down. The hunter was acquitted of all charges on the grounds that it was a case of mistaken identity.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:35 pm

Period newspapers report Tex was also affected by a heavy bout of mushroom
gas at the time of the incident. Upon being shot, he exploded in a cloud of foul
(fowl?) unpleasantitude, leaving little behind but feathers blowing down the street.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Mindless Automaton » Sun Jan 13, 2019 10:34 pm

Fiction.

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Kaiser » Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:38 am

Fact is : 'There is no shine without fiction' :D
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by vwgary » Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:12 am

In regards to the contraband spam I recall an entry in the Old Yankee Meat Masters monthly that it was a ploy by the east coast scrapple barons to discredit legitimate spam. True or friction, I don't know. Just relaying info that may be revelant to the subjunct.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jan 14, 2019 1:38 pm

"Old Yankee Meat Masters" had many of Yogi's recipes as I recall.
One day while traveling through the badlands of North Dakota Kalamity came across a Rickenbacker that had strayed from the road. Upon investigation it had a lifeless fellow slumped over the tiller. It obviously was a case of Spamitus. Fortunately Dick had a Thermopographer he had been trying out for a friend and after a brief humexliction or two he had the fellow breathing and throwing up. He rushed the poor excursionist to the closest infirmary and sought proper treatment.
The victum turned out to be a well known golfer named Walter Hagen. He was so thankful he insisted Dick learn the sport. Dick didn’t become skillful at it but enjoyed the geometry and dynamics of it. During the week he installed several water pumps and fire extinguishers on the Rickenbacker and the two parted company. As it turned out Walter shared the St. Swithin’s Day birthday and celebrated with Dick and “Mad Dog” at Ernie’s a couple of times.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Jan 14, 2019 2:41 pm

This is exciting new territory to explore as we uncover more of Kalamity Dick's life and history. Many, no doubt, have an impression that Dick was all flackerspoth construction and confabulator theory. It is indeed heart-warming to read these vignettes which shed light not only on Kalamity's warm, compassionate and humanitarian nature, but on his athleticism, gamesmanship, and playful side. (One must read back into the 2018 accounts for the story of how he invented the game of five-man indoor squamish).

I'm not surprised Kalamity DIck enjoyed playing golf. Reminiscing on the "old days", Uncle Cuthbert once told me how he and Dick had whiled away many a happy hour playing pool in a saloon in Bozeman one winter. Dick would masterfully call his shots, and often end a game by sinking the eight-ball in the corner pocket of an adjacent billiard table. His keen eye and understanding of geometry came into play as he could bank the cue ball off the floor, walls and ceiling to run the table. The humorless bar-keep threw them out however, after a spectacular three-bank shot off of the chandelier landed the 15 ball in a customer's mug of beer. (Dick hadn't called that one.)

A footnote: It is possible the Cimarron Dove flew off with Walter in his RIckenbacker.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 18, 2019 8:17 am

Another one of Kalamity Dick’s more interesting friends was a Sousaphoneist named Duke Fitzellwitz. He was born with 6 fingers on one hand and 4 on the other. A medical mystery in itself. He and Kalamity met on the train from Dearborn. Duke had played with Jet Lexington and the Scheblers. “Can’t wait for a ring job” and “Careful with the brake band” were some of his best selling tunes. He made hundreds of dollars on the Bluebird and Brunswick labels. Later he played with some survivors at Ernie’s.
The lounge car they were riding in was full of rowdy waterpump salesmen. I don’t have anything against them but you know how they can be. At one point a salesman accosted Duke with unkind comments about his extra finger. The Sousaphoneist held his temper for as long as possible and then stood up and grabbed the intruders face. A finger up each nostril, one in each ear and on the other two in his eyes seemed to at least stop the insults. Kalamity calmed the rest of the crowd down with a round of Happy Sally and averted an ugly brawl for sure. Nimrod picked them up at the station in the new Reeves six wheeler and they built dinner back at the farm.
Dick built 4 and 5 cylinder versions of the Sousaphone for him. They became the best of friends and guess what day Duke’s Birthday was. Yes, the day just after St. Swithin’s day.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Fri Jan 18, 2019 10:54 am

Duke was also a champion ice picker fighter. Taking the State championship
5 times over 7 years. He supplemented his income throughout his life, operating
an ice pick fighters studio 3 doors down from Ernie's. His legacy in the sport is
reknowned.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 18, 2019 12:11 pm

Yes he was. Nearly 6 times but for the Spamitis spell. I fought several Champions over the years. Even more Splitdwarfs. I had wondered what that building held inside. There always seemed to be a line outside and I thought it might be a strip club but didn't want to wait.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Jan 18, 2019 2:06 pm

I wish I had a picture to show. Visitors to Virginia City Montana in the late '50s-early '60s may recall among the coin-operated player-pianos, violins, music boxes, nickelodeons and other antique arcade attractions, a superlative machine which played music on a bank of trumpet-like horns. Unlike the nickel and dime offerings, it took two-bits to play that one, and its volume overpowered anything else that was playing. Few realize the marvelous machine was a collaboration between Kalamity Dick, and the sousaphoniest Duke Fitzellwitz. (actually, the horns more nearly resembled automobile bulb-horns . . . hmm. I wonder . . . ?!?)

As for the sport of ice-pick fighting, there were detractors, but it was easy enough to get the point of it. Duke fought many, and laid them all out cold. Those Splitdwarfs always came up short when matched against Duke. Replacing plug wires might have helped them, though. This is just a condensed version.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by mtntee20 » Fri Jan 18, 2019 2:32 pm

You gentlemen do not know how close to home you have brought this one. I just can't believe Duke Fitzellwitz is actually connected to Kalamity Dick. Oh the memories...

I remember when my sister, brothers, and I were fight....er...playing while my mother would be making dinner. Seemed my father always had to work late so he wasn't there to enjoy the goings on. My mother would put on her favorite Duke Fitzellwitz album: The Finger Pinching Head, and turn the volume all the way up to 10. She must have really loved that sousaphone music. I often saw her cry while listening to Duke's music and cutting onions for dinner. I couldn't believe how hard it was to shout over the music to get her attention. When Duke would hit the really low notes, the windows would rattle and scare the bejebbers out of our dog.

Oh, the memories. Thank You gentlemen for the memories.

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 18, 2019 2:38 pm

Two of my favorites. Pop in a coin a watch the babies cry.
WurlitzerEct.jpg
Those monstrosities were more like Dick than he himself was.
I'm pretty sure Fitzellwitz inspired the phrase "Put up your dukes."
Did you know he had a parakeet allergy?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 18, 2019 4:06 pm

Sorry to bring tears Terry. It touched Heinrich too. He found these under the mattress next to the gramophone and set them over. I'm a little misty myself.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Jan 18, 2019 4:24 pm

Darn that Heinrich. A few years back I loaned him a few of my favorite 78's. He said he was going to digitize them into the Institute's archives. When I asked to have them back, he said "I'll sleep on it and let you know."

Back to the point of this thread, it's interesting to note Duke's instrument combinations on these two favorites. "Carb Fire" is noted "sousaphone and extinguisher", while "Old Non-Skid" was performed with "sousaphone and pump". Many folks are unaware that the legendary Spike Jones was inspired by Fitzellwitz's creativity. Jones' well known "Flight of the Bumblebee - played by a tuba-player with hay fever" was actually a "cover" of an original Fitzellwitz recording made when the Duke was invited to play in the National Aviary. His performance was legendary, in spite of his extreme parakeet allergy. Look up the original on the Oxford label . . . I did.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 18, 2019 7:33 pm

Lindley Armstrong Jones was named "Spike" for his prowess with an ice pick. Coincidence?
Heinrich is that way. I lent him a bottle of bubbly and he returned the bottle nearly empty. That was the day the dime novel cover appeared.
The ice truck is here, got to go.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jan 22, 2019 1:39 pm

Cleaviss.jpg
Little did Wilfred Cleaviss know when he invented his device that it could be used as a tuning fork in a device like the gilderfluke. He would have been disappointed with it being mis-splet in common use but pleased that collectors all over the world would find them so fascinating. The RAITPASSAIBON Museum has over 3,000 examples on display.
Dick discovered the size #701CC had the perfect pitch for most applications and the 5/16 thread fit well on the outsprig. With only two moving parts it would never wear out unless used in a brake linkage or some other abuse.
Many might remember Bevis Cleaviss from the TV series was inspired from the inventors adventurous past.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Tue Jan 22, 2019 8:49 pm

Was that show "Leave it to Beavis"?


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Tue Jan 22, 2019 8:53 pm

His brother was Wallis Clever , dad was Worried, mom May, Brother's friend I think was Eddy Hazardous ?

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jan 22, 2019 11:39 pm

It may have been "Leave us to Beavis". There was a friend "Lumby" also. It exemplifying the idealized suburban family of the mid-20th century. It ran for six full 39-week seasons (234 episodes). I liked the one where Wallis ran into a Graham-Paige full of water pump salesmen...."and then the chaos ensued."
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Wed Jan 23, 2019 12:28 am

" Leave us to Beavis"! THAT was it! I remember the episode where Beavis got stuck in the billboard "T" cup (keeping this "T" related)!
Beavis had a good friend named Whitey (any color you want as long as it is Whitey) that was always getting him in trouble.


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Wed Jan 23, 2019 9:52 pm

Kalamity was heard to mutter "Clevis, very clevis, but . . . not . . . quite . . . clevis enough !" as he replaced an item of inferior precision with an iconic model 701cc clevis. His gilderfluke performed flawlessly ever after. Notes in his moleskin on the project include the comment, "Wilfred is no butt-head". He may have been confused.

Later on, script writers for "B" movies made the phrase a household word.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Jan 24, 2019 8:47 am

saloon.jpg
I am sure Kalamity was in this place one or twice.


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jan 24, 2019 9:32 am

Herb, thank you so much for posting what very well may be the only existing photo of the interior of Ernie's bar in Medicine Bow. That's Ernie himself behind the bar.

This photo is of historic importance, as it shows Tarabella Nation and her little dog "President Hayes". Tarabella (wags called her "Tarnation") was the kid sister of Carrie Nation, the temperance movement radical. Tarabella was supposed to follow Carrie's lead, attacking saloons and destroying bars and bottles with a hatchet, by siccing her dog on barkeeps and saloon patrons, but she was a gentle soul, had a weakness for a dram of "Happy Sally", and adding to her disinclination to follow her sister's crusade, fell hopelessly in love with Ethelbert ("Suds") Terkel, shown downing a mug of beer in the photo. They later eloped and settled down in the Veedawoo on an antelope ranch.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Jan 24, 2019 11:03 am

Thank you Rich for the insight!
There is so much to learn about these Kalamitous events!

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 24, 2019 3:18 pm

That may have been a St. Swithens Un-Birthday party. Tarabella and a few others in town celebrated not having that day as a birthday. Medicine Bow was sort of a geographical oddity in that most residents had their birthday on St. Swithens day.
You may notice the tall fellow in the back. He looks very much like the poet, Remus Reimer. He was 7'3" and still growing.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 25, 2019 8:45 am

Regardless, that is a wonderful look at Ernie. Thanks Herb.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:20 am

The detail is wonderful in this enlarged view. We can clearly read the label on that bottle of "Happy Sally" on the bar, and behind Ernie on his left, we can see Hennessey Whiskey and "Montana Sheep Dip" easily identified by the shapes of the bottles. Clearly they were the most popular tipples in that establishment at the time. I sure miss the old brands, they were the best !

( I should add, however, that missing a brand isn't necessarily a good thing. Working the calves last year Huck slipped with the iron in hand and caught Slim on the seat of his pants as he was bent over to stretch out the calf. I sure hope things go better this spring !)
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:04 am

Now I see it. "Happy-Sally". Good eye.
I saw some Wranglers with the Lazy Clevis brand on them at the goodwill last fall.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by mtntee20 » Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:53 am

I am FAR from being an authority on adult beverages of the time. But, isn't that the rarest of the 1/2 gallon bottles of Happy Sally? I am under the impression that Happy Sally was almost exclusively bottled in 1 and 5 gallon jugs. Bartenders, like Ernie, all knew Happy Sally drinkers liked their choice of beverages and drank quite a lot.

Also, my eyes may be playing tricks on me or it may be a optical disillusionment but that appears to be a very rare QUAD shot glass on the bar. Which would make a lot of sense since it was probably being used for the Happy Sally. Is there any truth to the tales I've heard about the common practices related to drinking Happy Sally? Specifically referring to the practice of the bartender getting ONE glass out for the entire night and everyone buying Happy Sally using the same shot glass all of that night? There is another practice I've been told that the quad shot glass was filled to the brim, the first buyer would take one shot, the next guy would get the next shot, and so on until the glass was empty. Thus, the bartender would use the larger quad shot glass so he wouldn't have to fill it up so often. Is there any evidence that was true?

Somewhere, long ago, I had read a story about Tarabella and her dog. The story was about her drinking Happy Sally. When she got the glass to her lips, her dog would lick her cheek signaling her to start drinking. The dog would then stick it's tongue in her ear when she had drank a perfect shot. This led to many bar bets which she always won as they would line up shot glasses, she and her dog would do their thing, then the remainder of the first glass would be poured into the other shot glasses to measure if she had actually drank just ONE shot perfectly. She and the dog always won. It was told she bought that dress and apron with her winnings. She never spent her winnings on more Happy Sally. I can not figure out why that would be.

Thanks for the photos and the history. I never knew Remus was that tall although I have read some of his poetry. Some say his writing is better with a couple shots of Happy Sally.

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 25, 2019 12:51 pm

As I heard it Ernie bought Happy Sally in 55 gallon drums and filled old Sam Thompson bottles with it. Sometimes he would add a little Dr. Spillman's elixir to cut down on the bite.
As for Remus's poetry I think Darrel submitted some last fall.
Charlene sent this over from the Institute as Heinrich is in New Orleans for The Ice Pick finals.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Jan 25, 2019 3:22 pm

So much to ponder and absorb in these recent posts. Most historians of the old west are unaware that the clevis was a popular image in livestock brands after 1900. Thanks to Leland (stepping in for Heinrich at the Institute) for finding this page from the 1910 Wyoming Book of Cattle Brands. Interestingly, there are a number of familiar names on that sheet !
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 25, 2019 4:06 pm

Why of coarse, it all makes sense now.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Jan 25, 2019 5:01 pm

Back to Ernie's saloon, the question of what quantities of Happy Sally he purchased brings us full circle to the Model T forum. It appears Rich is correct, Ernie would purchase Happy Sally by the hogshead and decant it into empty Sam Thompson bottles. Sam never seemed to mind, though. This practice raises many questions, however. For instance, how could a Model T hogshead hold 55 gallons ? How did the distillers of Happy Sally keep it from leaking out ? (mind, this is long before the invention of the "O" ring). Perhaps the answer lies in the origins of the term "hogshead" ? It seems in midieval times, barrels of wine and liquor were branded with an ox head . . . "hogshead" is a corruption. Binford Stroschlap wrote an article on the subject in "Precision Machine & Ox-shoeing Journal" sometime in the 1920's but I have misplaced my copy.

Terry is correct that it was a widespread custom for saloon patrons to drink from one four-shot glass, and Tarabelle's prowess at winning drinking competitions was indeed famous throughout Wyoming. Curiously, Ernie resisted the practice, claiming it was "insanitary", which is odd, given that he never washed the Sam Thompson bottles before re-filling them with Happy Sally. Moreover, at 190 proof, Happy Sally was certainly an effective antiseptic. Could it be Ernie was watering it down ?

Rich, thank you for treating us to some fine examples of the lyric poetry from the pen of Remus Reimer. It is said none less than Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was an ardent admirer. He once attempted to shake Reimer's hand, but couldn't reach it.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Jan 25, 2019 5:38 pm

Like many creative types Remus often got lost in his work. One time Ernie had to organized a search party to find him. After a couple daze he was discovered in a gully between page 276 and chapter 24. He was still giggling to himself but was convinced to return. No harm was done and the party broke up at 2:15 the following morning.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sat Jan 26, 2019 9:18 am

This must have been a Kalamitous event. Perhaps another Family get together, or a Tent Meeting for the guys from the Saloon?
picnic.jpg
I think one of Kalamity's great nephews was named Norm Peterson who used to hang out at a bar in Boston.
Is one of these ladies perhaps his grandmother?

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Jan 26, 2019 10:11 am

Well I'm stumped Herb. Perhaps if we zoom in on the child someone will recognize her.
Thanks for the charming look.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by tmodeldriver » Sat Jan 26, 2019 10:36 am

That baby looks a lot like Maude Frickert.

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Jan 26, 2019 11:07 am

I believe you are right Robert. And isn't that Remus Reimer sitting in the back with the bowler hat?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Jan 26, 2019 3:45 pm

At first I thought that couldn't be Remus Reimer - too short. Then I realized he's sitting down. That sure looks like Stan Laurel on the left, holding up a bottle of Montana Sheep Dip. Could this have been the famous Jubilee Picnic at Massapiqua Springs that everyone has been talking about ?

(Rich, the lamp on the right is down about a half-pint. I topped it off with some Happy Sally, so be careful when you light it )
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Sun Jan 27, 2019 12:52 am

400 pages deep into recounting and discovering KD's life and no one has mentioned how he paid for it all.
Funkbunkler's Business Directory first lists KD's vestibule business in the 1913 edition. By 1915, through his
numerous design patents, the business had secured a solid 39% market share in both Calhoun County and
points west. A 1920 headline in the Pispacataquattimauken Review says a new 5 spur loading track has been
extended off the Devils Gulch, Hoodeedoo, and Western mainline, shipping as many as 12 carloads a week.
KD left much of the management to friends and family in Medicine Bow, but the monthly stipend allowed
Kalamity to move freely, without financial concerns.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:07 am

That's good to know Raoul. Where did you ever find a copy of Funkbunkler's Business Directory?
I dated a gal from Hoodeedoo for 9 months. That's another story.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Jan 28, 2019 9:59 am

Raoul, this is ground-breaking research shedding an entirely new light on Kalamity's finances and wherewithal. Prior, it was assumed he made a living as an itinerant tinkerer and repairman, building novel and effective inventions for specific applications needed by the farmers and ranchers he met on his rambles through the intermountaon west. It only stands to reason he had considerable means from some source aside from unprofitable and irregular itinerant jobs.

That said, the Pispacataquattimauken Review may not be a reliable source, as it was an organ of the DG,H&W RR. Its purpose was to inflate the importance of that trunk line by indicating more tonnage was moving over their rails than was actually the case. The DG,H&W RR failed after crooked investors attempted a merger with the Denver & Rio Grande which tanked after D&RG RR officials discovered multiple accounting irregularities.

A question aside, a look at patent records may indicate Kalamity Dick may have received payments and royalties from the popular KD line of Model T specialty tools. Hey, it fits !

(Rich, I couldn't shut the water off - handle on the south hydrant broke off in the last cold snap. I'm running the water into the swale, we'll be able to skate there in a week or two. Be sure to bring your ice pick !)
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jan 28, 2019 10:08 am

Kalamity Dick was also a monk it Tibet for 35 years. We haven't mentioned that either, possibly because it had no connection with the Model T Ford.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Mon Jan 28, 2019 11:10 am

Progaganda arm of the RR, or not, there is *some* intel there on par with all the solid
material we are making up here ! Uncle Rasmus left stacks of water stained and moth
eaten copies in the attic. It is a LOT of reading, but one tidbit details KD's chance discovery
of the keystone slide block, which revolutionized the parts cutting and assemply of the
theretofore tediously handmade vestibule. All he had to do was set up shop and it ran
pretty much by itself. Those he pursuaded to work on the project were pretty much set
for life, just taking orders and loading boxcars.

Wasn't the Tibetan monk thing a publicity ruse, performed by a hired stuntman/lookalike,
to draw attention away from KD's actual movements and doings ?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Jan 28, 2019 11:54 am

Raoul, my apologies for casting aspersions on the "Review". No doubt there was a wealth of valuable and factual information found therein, otherwise your uncle Rasmus would not have treasured his collection of publications. It is true enough NGP figures in that era show 90% of US vestibules were shipped from north-eastern Wyoming. It would also account for the huge water-wheel that was erected up Sawmill Canyon out of Medicine Bow early in the century. It was often recounted how so many of Dick's inventions ran themselves. Presumably he got the idea from getting free starts on his raceabout.

I know nothing about the Tibetan Monk rumors, the only connection I can make from scribbled accounts is that for a short period during an exceptionally rainy spring in the Bighorns, Dick wore a saffron yellow slicker, and never took it off. This was shortly before a hiatus in extant letters and communications makes a huge gap filling in the timeline of Dick's personal history. I'm willing tibet he never went to Asia, though.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jan 28, 2019 1:26 pm

My source on the monk issue is a little offended that his research was questioned. I have calmed him down and now he admits it may have only been 34 years. I myself will keep an open mind as I have so far in this inquisition. The story was that Dick's vow of silence made it difficult to convey instructions of how the other monks could make a windsnuffer form bamboo.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by REHelgeson » Mon Jan 28, 2019 2:08 pm

I've been digging deep into the Tibetan Monk theory as far as KD is concerned. What I've come up with is KD wasn't an actual Monk although for some time his head was as bald as a cue ball. KD was working on a combination Shampoo Drain Cleaner which as he put it would kill two birds with one stone. Since KD was fond of wearing robes in his leisure time, as he would say "it lets the boys swing freely". What ever that meant we aren't sure. Any way to get back on track the combination of being bald and wearing robes led some to believe KD was a monk. These are the facts as close as I can make them up.


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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Jan 28, 2019 2:52 pm

There are so many twists and turns when it comes to setting the record straight, it seems I must apologize once more for upsetting a contributor. However, I feel it's only fair to recorded history to carefully verify the fabrication of facts as they are presented. Rich, please extend my heart-felt apology to your source for ever having doubted him.

So far as the timeline of KD's activities have been presented, Kalamity Dick's history recounts approximately 150 years of his life through the period when he was most active (1890-1940) before retiring to the basement of Ernie's Bar. With some assistance from Dr. Emmet Brown, it has been possible to add in the additional 34 years, which does agree with our source on Dick's Tibetan Monk phase. The photo of the windsnufer constructed from bamboo very likely corroborates Dick's sojourn in the Himalayas. Wonderful stuff, this.

(Of possible additional interest, we found a 1925 Model T Ford Tudor sedan to be a vehicle much superior to a DeLorean for our purposes when the flux capacitor was activated. Dr. Brown reckons it's the vanadium. History was compressed using only two gigawatts of power, amply provided by interfacing a microscope with a modern 12V gel battery and a hamster on a wheel.)
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jan 28, 2019 2:57 pm

Thanks Robert, that makes more sense to me. There is a note in the Milhouse report of a shortcut to Tibet over the South Ridge of the Inyan Kara Mountain. I wouldn't rule out Dick's traveling freely between the two as it were.
I'm reminded of the salesman letting two bottles of hair tonic fall from his satchel into Beaver Creek and hair growing on the fish and creating problems.
I'll check on the toothpicks tomorrow.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jan 28, 2019 3:02 pm

Sorry Rich, I was comforting Sebastian when you piped in. I'll add you report to the tallamagriphone.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Jan 28, 2019 5:24 pm

Oh, heavens to myrtle! Rich, if I had only known it was Sebastian who put forth the Tibetan information, I would never have questioned the issue. Of all the researchers who have made massive contributions at the Institute, I know he is the most meticulous of all. Why, he even re-ties his shoe-laces before crossing the street. Please buy him a Baby Ruth and charge it to my account. I know he loves her best.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Mon Jan 28, 2019 5:40 pm

Wow!! Such a great bit of history. Never had heard of him being a Tibetan Monk, but I do recall some reports of old KD playing a Sitar in a Nepalese House of ill repute. Than again there were some tales heard in a bar in Kathmandu about some dalliance with a Yak herder's daughter in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:32 pm

That may be why the tale got fuzzy. That bar in Kathmandu did fog people's minds. I'll run it by Sebastian when he come to.
Thanks Thomas for that.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Mon Jan 28, 2019 7:58 pm

The mention of bamboo made me think about Roy Hinkley, he wasn't related to KD in some way was he?

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Jan 28, 2019 8:16 pm

Yes Herb, his book "Fun with Ferns" was at the top of Dick's bookshelf. "Build nearly anything from coconuts and bamboo". I once took a three hour tour of his home.
Thanks for mentioning it.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Mon Jan 28, 2019 9:37 pm

Not to accuse KD of being sly (in an ill-mannered way), we must remember the times and
take into account his shy nature and all the attention his work brought to him. He preferred
to stay in the shadows and let others take the stage. Ferd Farkle wrote in the 1934 edition of
the Calhoun County Historical quarterly that it was confirmed that KD had contacted Los Angeles-
based Zuhwiggins Reliable Imposter Agency from an ad in the back of the Funkbunkler Times, for
reasons that can only be speculated.

Combined with understanding KD's humble nature, and his subsequent disappearance from public
view (while being seen in far flung and wild-n-wooly places) might very well suggest a connection
of hiring said dopplegangers to throw an overzealous paparazzi off his trail. Even Sebastian may
have been duped, given his propensity for Happy Sally.

This leads me to another report of KD in the mists of history. In the 25th of July, 1913 edition of
the Review, it reports an out-of-character KD throwing a bit of a public disturbance at the Fecklersburg
Chihuahua Festival, when placing only 4th, for only eating 14 quarts on mayonnaise in the annual
competition. His beef was the top three finalists were all Crawford brothers, who had all been known
to cheat and break the rules by training with sand, thusly not giving a level playing field to KD and
others, who were strict adherents to the rules.

As a result, a month later, KD began research that ultimately led to his successfully marketing unburnable
fish sticks, manufactured from recycled mobile homes and asbestos. This became another of his going
concerns and made hundreds for him, by charging fees for asbestos disposal and the selling it back to a
waiting public as delicious and easy-to-prepare meals for overworked parents. By adding flavorings
to each in a 12-pack (caramel, peppermint, etc.) he built a small empire, before selling out to Ray
Kroc, who built the McDonalds chain around KD's premise that you could sell snow cones to the eskimos,
if you add enough seasoning.

Anybody else ever wonder how Happy Sally got that subtle flavor of road tar, sage, with a tang of urine ?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Jan 29, 2019 6:42 am

Well I can't argue with that Raoul. Ferd was about as thorough as anyone.
Heinrich returned from the Ice Pick Fights with only minor wounds. His theory is that Dick may have been making trips to Tibet to visit Nimrod. There was a Walmart parking lot in Thimphu that he liked very much. Even with the shortcut in the Raceabout it would have been an overnight trip.
I guess we still have some questions to make up answers for.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Tue Jan 29, 2019 11:35 pm

Was it Nimrod who brought the mushrooms back from the Tibetan Walmart to set up the mushroom stand
along the highway ? Who ended up with the 12 cylinder Fizzlenixxer KD built for use around the vestibule
factory ? Heinrich told Uncle Rasmus it was left in the shed after the supply of whale blubber dried up around
Medicine Bow. Could it still be there ? So many questions ...
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jan 30, 2019 12:15 pm

Raoul, It may have ended up at Dick's place. He lived here during the Plankenforth development. It had been replaced after the fire. It's true that whales became less prevalent in Medicine Bow after the hair tonic contamination. I wish I had more answers.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Wed Jan 30, 2019 9:58 pm

It is unfortunate that so many of the oldtimers are no longer with us, or unwilling to share the
facts, as they knew them. Uncle Rasmus used to take us kids up to the whale ponds above Fecklersburg.
The guys out on the boats, tending the whales, looked like Venetian gondoliers out there in their
red and white striped suits. It was a well-known local secret that the ponds were hyper-salted to
induce the whales to produce a thick, viscous mucus from the eyes, which was harvested and sold
to make Pringos, an artificial potato chip made from this and old shoes. When the manufacturer
figured out a way to produce a cheaper coagulant, the whale ponds became a thing of the past.
I never heard of any connection of this operation to Kalamity Dick, except that he did not approve.
I have a vague memory of these whales having hair. Do you suppose this is tied to the hair tonic
contamination crisis ? Surely some of the other researchers here have clues or information to share.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:38 am

Dick did build a place on Chugwater Lake for a time. It was one of those whale ponds. He protested violently but did enjoy the chips. Some say the hairy whales evolved into bison.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Tom Hicks » Thu Jan 31, 2019 7:12 am

It is sad, but not surprising, to see this thread and related posts on a Model T forum. It is telling of the times.

Deviant minds and thought processes are the direct result of government and private industry controlling the minds of the population. Some of these controls are actually beneficial to society, but what we are witnessing here are some of those whose government induced DNA changes went awry.

When Henry Ford found that the fumes from black paint would cause a slight bit of manic in his workers, accompanied by greater tolerance for the assembly line and a performance increase of 9% -15% in the average worker, he decided to paint all of his cars black. This did result in lower priced cars for the public along with higher profits for Ford, but was detrimental to the offspring of those workers.

Then the military, in preparation for WWl, found that through training and chemicals it could change soldiers personalities so they would not only do stupid things like go over the top and charge across a no-man's-land of mines, artillery fire, and machine gun crossfire.

By 1925 the government knew how to turn the average person into a sheep on the job or in the military, but they needed a way to do it that would effect the entire population.

I don't want to go into too much detail here, but fluoride is part of the equation. Fluoride is put into most public water supplies under the guise of preventing tooth decay, and if you have well water your dentist will suggest that you get fluoride pills. Fluoride by itself will not harm you, but look what else is added.

Have you ever noticed the contrails from jetliners? By adjusting the fuel different amounts of chemicals can be released during combustion. The National Weather Service works in conjunction with the airlines to determine the best method of evenly applying these chemicals to the population according to the prevailing winds on particular routes and even adjusting flight paths. Those chemicals work along with the fluoride from public water to adjust the thought processes of Americans.

And the military is still deeply involved. From the coarse chemical changes they caused in the '20's to very subtle changes now, the U.S. military controls the minds of a large segment of our population. Once these minds have been altered they do not go back to the norm, even decades after leaving the armed forces these veterans still can't think straight.

Of coarse this is much more complicated than the simple explanation I have tried to give, but the link to T owners is obvious which is why it is not surprising it showed up here on this forum.

Let us start with the "hoarding" complex that so many T owners suffer. Look at the piles of junk these guys accumulate, cluttering up every shed, barn, and garage space they have. Then piled outside under tarps. What possesses them? It truly is a disease and the basis is genetic change induced by the government and private industry for their own interests.

Or consider the wisdom (or lack of it) of driving a 100 year old car on modern roads. For the cost of a T one can have a good running vehicle which will easily and safely go up to 90 miles and hour, with heat, or AC, and airbags, stereo, and is a comfortable and smooth ride. Not only do T owners insist on driving dangerous, antiquated autos, but they usually own more than one, in many cases a lot more than one.

And cranky. Not ALL T owners have short tempers, but many realize their inferiorities and become curmudgeons, taking pride in being known for how little it takes to get their bowels all in an uproar over something silly. And once they get their butt up on their shoulders they just can't get it off, constantly carping about how things used to be better and now the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

Part of this can be attributed that Ford's black paint still has an insidious effect even after drying. Sanding it and breathing the particulate matter is not good, but just touching it can be enough to have an effect on those with a low tolerance level.

Breathing gasoline fumes has a negating effect on the government's plan to sheepleize the population, that is why when you refuel a modern car the fumes are captured. With Model T owners the gasoline fumes that crosses their nasal blood brain barrier actually helps to bring about clear thinking. But the EPA is proposing new chemicals under the guise of "cleaner burning" in order to negate the negating effect.

Reading the posts on this thread one can easily see that many T owners ain't right, there are sick minds screaming for help, and the blame can go back to Henry Ford.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Jan 31, 2019 8:14 am

colander.jpg
:D

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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 31, 2019 9:51 am

How right you are Tom. Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper spent much time studying the ill effects of fluoride. I myself have noticed vanadium can leach into the body and distort the senses. We must constantly be on vigil that we aren't being manipulated. Dick would have been pleased at the warnings.
Let's keep our heads on straight as Herb has shown.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Raoul von S. » Thu Jan 31, 2019 11:07 am

Interesting. The USMC exposure I endured has left me making my bed every morning
and keeping my AO squared away as much as possible, considering the conflict of gov't.
induced mind manipulation causing me to hoard old rusty metal and other old junk.

Gee, Mr. Obvious .... I never made the connection !

Rich, I remember Dick's place on the needle. Didn't he create something of a nuisance
of himself during the filming of the James Bond film The Man With The Golden Gun, creating
unwanted background visuals for the moviemakers ?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Thu Jan 31, 2019 1:23 pm

Tom, I believe the root of all of the problems is the tendency of the mass of the population desiring to live "productive lives". Once a person becomes infected with the desire to live in the past when times were easier and folks drove vehicles that were slow enough that they could see the world passing by, the urge to be productive slides away and people get happier and the Lord knows, the government dosen't desire a happy population.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Tom Hicks » Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:20 pm

A lot of truth in what you state. There was a time, back before the '80's, when a man could work on his own car without computer assist. To a large degree, when points disappeared, the ability to fix one's own transport mode disappeared. "Gearheads" today often know only how to get a local shop to put new rims on their wheels, thereby personalizing their rides.

This dumbing down of society concerning automobiles has taken decades, but has succeeded. For a vehicle owner to change a tire is out of the question, Ditto for anything that the man-of-the-house used to do around the house. Need a lightbulb changed? Best call an electrician. You get the picture.

This is largely the effeminitation of America, where every manual labor project has to be made easy for the fairer sex. Need your car fixed, plug in a computer, decide which board needs replacing, remove the board and put a new one in - off to the races. No need to understand anything about the internal combustion engine, just be computer literate and have the right computer. it is part of the government's long term plan for the sissification of America.

In order to see the goal of total simple minded female desire imposed on the male population, the government now wants autonomous vehicles so the "driver" and passengers can spend their time texting and watching Hallmark. When men and women think the same way he country can move forward as one. There are holdouts, but the government AND private industry are working on ways to get everyone on the same road headed the same way. For this to occur we must continue to get people to believe that lies are truth, that truth is not truth, that alternative facts are actual facts, and no one can be trusted. Conspiracy theory belief and acceptance of idiotic statements from people in positions of authority are needed for success.

Stay tuned!
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 31, 2019 3:20 pm

Kalamity felt the same way. That is why he preferred to live on his own out away from the maddening crowd. Though his charm ingratiated him to almost everyone it was always a strain to be polite. The government was always nipping at his heals. All kinds of people wanted things or for him to do for them. This shows how relaxed he was at his place in Pukwana. There he could spin up mechanisms and chase warthogs.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jan 31, 2019 4:19 pm

Conspiracy theorists might have a field day with this: there was hardly anyone more invested in the old ways than Cuthbert (Mad Dog) Maddox, yet in 1913 he did buy a Model T Ford. He rarely drove it, preferring to ride his favorite paint mare Demelza. It is interesting to note that in 1914 when all Model Ts left the factory painted black, that Cuthbert began wearing an aluminum colander under his hat, on Kalamity Dick's advice. Photo below of Maddox in his 70's shows he never abandoned the practice. Further, the blurry image cropped from another photo shows the sheep dogs on the Maddox ranch were also fitted with aluminum foil bonnets. Cuthbert would admonish his help, often saying, "Dammit Leland, don't you dare let them dogs into the pasture without their owl-ewe-minimum on !!"
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jan 31, 2019 4:23 pm

Forum difficulties. Hoping to attach images here
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Jan 31, 2019 4:24 pm

And this one
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:51 pm

The colanders did fend off cosmic rays and government sonic waves but seemed to attract Moths. I see I have 12 moths on my colander right now with February just about to pop on. Herb's mention of Roy Hinkley got me wondering how he would have handled it. As a world class botanist he had degrees from various schools (including USC, UCLA, SMU, and TCU) he would have been able to come up with lighter coverings with fewer straining effects. He did visit over the weekend at Chugwater Lake just after Rodney and James Bond had their falling out. They however mostly discussed the up coming pretzel festival. Both were to be dignitaries there.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by 46woodduck » Thu Jan 31, 2019 7:15 pm

While we are working on alternative theory. Has anyone got a good reason for the demise of carburetors and points and condenser ignitions other than being able to make sure that when your vehicle breaks down you will remain where they want you to be?
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Tom Hicks » Thu Jan 31, 2019 9:45 pm

There are several angles to this.

The owner could fix a carburetor. The owner could set points. The government does not want vehicle owners doing their own repairs, the goal is to have the public totally dependent, not capable of thinking or doing on their own.

I think you are referring to the following. Electronic ignitions allow the government to use electromagnetic pulse to shut down every car in the country at the same time.

And don't get me started on vaccinations and flu shots.
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Re: The Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Jan 31, 2019 9:54 pm

I will admonish each of us to be careful of the forces against us. We should not act paranoid but keep vigil of those out to get us. I am reminded of the incident almost two years ago to the day among our merry clan;
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Berger and several others up and disappeared soon after. Check carefully behind every rock.
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