Lost my Mom today

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Bob McDaniel
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Lost my Mom today

Post by Bob McDaniel » Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:38 pm

Very few here know what the last 6+ years have been like for us and this may explain why I never do much with my cars and just can not ever take a long trip. It started in 2012 with my wifes father falling and needing 24 hour care for the next 4 years till he passed away at age 91. Then after we took care of his estate my wife got cancer and had emergency surgery on Christmas day 2016 followed by over 3 months of therapy. Then just when life almost began to return to normal and we drove the 27 touring on its first out of town trip to see how well the dog would do in the back seat, I got a call from my Mom and she needed help. It was all down hill from that point and after doing everything I could she had to go into assisted living where she stayed till about 2 weeks ago. They moved her to the nursing home where she would get more care and was then placed with hospice. We had been caring for her 2 dogs age 17 and 13 till the 17 year old died a few days before the Richmond tour so we took the 13 year old and our own 13 year old dog with us and left them at the campground while on tour. We have made it a point to visit our parents every other day to keep an eye on the level of care and just try to give them some visit time when no one else could be bothered. We decided to go the auction about a 45 min. drive from here and saw Steve Jelf and a few others there but I got a call from hospice before the sale was over that she was not doing very well so we headed back before the sale ended to check on her. As my Mom began to fail more we stepped it up to every day and most times we took her dog to cheer her up and yesterday was the first time I had seen her smile in some time when the dog got exited to see her and barked a few times. I knew things were bad but found out at 5 am today that yesterday was my last visit. Now the real work begins with her house and what ever needs done before we can maybe return to normal, what ever that is............

This is why I have been slow to respond to some things and hope anyone that thought I was out of mind will know why. 2 hrs of sleep is not much help either. If you don't see me here for a while now you know the rest of the story.
Give an old car guy a barn and he won't throw anything away.

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Henry K. Lee
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Henry K. Lee » Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:47 pm

So Sorry to hear Bob, may peace be with you and yours.

All the Best,

Hank Lee and Family

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Oldav8tor
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Oldav8tor » Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:51 pm

So sorry... the care you have shown your mom does you credit though not without a personal toll. Take comfort in the fact that you were there when she needed you. No mother could ask for more.
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otrcman
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by otrcman » Sat Sep 07, 2019 10:01 pm

It's a tough time in our lives when we lose a parent. Now you and your wife will need some time to heal. Don't feel bad about having let other things in you life slip for a while. You did what was important. Our Mom's unfailingly saw to our needs when we were too little to do for ourselves. Now you have repaid the debt as best as anyone can.

Dick Fischer

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JTT3
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by JTT3 » Sat Sep 07, 2019 10:21 pm

Bob my heart goes out to you & family, you have always been there for your mom. I remember us talking about the loving obligation we have to our folks that took care of us when we were small & unable to. In their dotage we owe them that same love and caring. You’ve fought the good fight. Be at peace my friend.

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Jugster
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Jugster » Sun Sep 08, 2019 12:02 am

Terrible news. Sincerest condolences on so significant a loss.


Wayne Sheldon
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Wayne Sheldon » Sun Sep 08, 2019 3:32 am

So sad to hear this. But good to know that you did such a fine job where it is most important. Get some rest. You have earned it.

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Ruxstel24
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Ruxstel24 » Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:06 am

Sincere sympathies Bob.
I am about in the same situation, mom will be 89 this week. A fall last year left her with a broken arm and dementia has made her unsafe to be alone. It's very hard to watch loved ones lose their abilities.

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Belliott3
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Belliott3 » Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:26 am

So sorry for your loss, Bob; I know it's been a difficult time for you and your wife but your mom is finally at peace and you did your absolute best to make her life more comfortable while she was with you. Still, she was your mom and the pain is deep; I know.

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GEmering
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by GEmering » Sun Sep 08, 2019 11:18 am

Bob,
Please know that you and your wife are in my daily prayers.
God Bless your mother's soul and may God grant you the peace that comes from fighting the good fight.
May your faith carry you through the coming days.

Gene
Gene Emering
Newton, New Jersey


Dave Frost
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Dave Frost » Sun Sep 08, 2019 3:25 pm

Condolences to you and your family. Hopefully the memories of the good times will help you through this difficult time.


Bills Auto Works
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Bills Auto Works » Sun Sep 08, 2019 9:02 pm

So very sorry for your loss, Bob & Marilyn.

The fact that you took her dog to see her recently gave her much comfort I am sure & was an amazing thing to do for her & the dog

Our thoughts & prayers are with you folks during this time.

God Bless
Bill
Your QUALITY Model T Transporter in Business Since 1983 & Still Going Strong

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Duey_C
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Duey_C » Sun Sep 08, 2019 11:50 pm

Your mom rests now. I'm glad you took the pupper to see her. That simple act eased her mind.
Take care of you and your lady now.
Since I lost my mind mind, I feel more liberated


KeithG
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by KeithG » Mon Sep 09, 2019 10:19 am

Bob, You have our most sincere sympathy.

Keith
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Dom Denio
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Dom Denio » Mon Sep 09, 2019 11:48 am

Bob,

May the pain of such a great loss be surpassed by the joy of memories made and shared sooner rather than latter. Know this time frame is different for each individual and that the emotional roller coaster works all too well but is normal. God bless you and your family.

Sincerely,
Dom Denio


lesvonnordheim
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by lesvonnordheim » Tue Sep 10, 2019 1:28 pm

Bob,
I'm very sorry for your loss

Les

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Topic author
Bob McDaniel
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Re: Lost my Mom today

Post by Bob McDaniel » Tue Sep 10, 2019 10:46 pm

Thanks to everyone for the support at a time when it was needed most. We had a small grave side service today with family and friends and even had her little 13 year old dog there to let her know why she wont be seeing her mom anymore. (I have had 3 little sisters since I moved away from home) The dogs replaced me as an only child over the years. It has been a few days since I have been on the computer and this is the first time since my first post on this I had time to even check back in. One good thing came from all this, my son and 2 grandkids came to the house and we got to spend the day with them for the first time in what feels like forever. I only wish we could have got the family together while she was still around to join in and enjoy the day.

While it has been a bumpy roller coaster ride the past few years I feel the ride is about to let us off for a while and maybe I will be able to get things sorted out and begin to play with the T's a little for a change while I work to get the house ready for winter and finish the kitchen we started to remodel 7 years ago. My Mom is with my Dad now and my job is done other than small items she left behind that will be easy to take care of after the hell we have been through since 2012.
Give an old car guy a barn and he won't throw anything away.

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