OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

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Burger in Spokane
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Jul 30, 2019 11:09 am

All three burgs ran civic sponsored garden programs to develop the best means
of growing dental floss in the area. The wiry soil and constant wind made for ideal
growing conditions, but many thought improvements could be made and many
experimented with different ideas. It was during one of these experiments that
it was learned that bagpipe "music" killed many plants and caused brain damage
and stunted growth in children, a fact largely ignored today.
More people are doing it today than ever before !


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Wed Jul 31, 2019 4:27 am

Maybe that is what is wrong with me?
Gotta go listen to "Scotland the Brave" soon. And it is best followed by "Amazing Grace". Been at least a week now!


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Wed Jul 31, 2019 5:13 am

Okay. I feel better now. Both pieces were wonderful!

Now, maybe some Puccini. Turandot perhaps.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by tmodeldriver » Wed Jul 31, 2019 10:22 am

People tend to forget that the bagpipe is not a musical instrument but a weapon of war. It seems that back in the day an opposing army, at the sight of 300 or 400 men in skirts marching toward them with screaming pipes, would just have to go home, lie down and think about it for a long time.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jul 31, 2019 10:28 am

In a predictable turn of historic events, it was none other than a far distant
ancestor of our own Kalamity Dick who, in a long string of experiments to mechanically
replicate the sound of fingernails scraping on a chalkboard, invented the bagpipes
while inflating the bladder of a goat with air. Accounts vary, but credit Angus Klammitboffer
with the invention, and most date the event to some time in the mid-15th century.
More people are doing it today than ever before !

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Jul 31, 2019 1:13 pm

There is some evidence supporting that claim. This photo bears slight resemblance to the Klammitboffer clan. It was inevitable that eventually bags and pipe would come together.
Dickbag.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Wed Jul 31, 2019 1:51 pm

This may or may not have anything to do with the subject at hand, but when Ernie's Saloon in Medicine Bow was demolished in the early 1950s, a hundred year old bottle of imported single malt Scotch whiskey was discovered in the bottom drawer of his desk. The label was "Sally Toilichte". There was a shot or two left, apparently Ernie drank it very sparingly and only on very special occasions. Does anyone know what the Gaelic word "toilichte" means ?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Wed Jul 31, 2019 2:02 pm

Further research will be required.
Perhaps Dick Lodge can help?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Jul 31, 2019 11:37 pm

It was Diotheses that said "Be it from the hand of Satan that the bags and pipes
shall be given voice".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Duey_C » Thu Aug 01, 2019 7:20 pm

I just can't help it.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Since I lost my mind mind, I feel more liberated

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Kaiser » Fri Aug 02, 2019 10:53 am

Suspected a trap but still couldn't resist :
Scottish Gaelic[edit]. Verb[edit]. toilichte. past participle of toilich. Adjective[edit]. toilichte. pleased · satisfied, contented, gratified, content · cheery, happy · smug ...

I should have known :oops:
When in trouble, do not fear, blame the second engineer ! 8-)
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:15 am

Why Leo, I'm surprised :shock: A trap ? Here ? Surely not. Nothing but unverifiable facts and incredible anecdotes on this thread. The institute researchers thank you sincerely for the translation of the Gaelic word. Much appreciated. It seems, then, the favorite tipple in the tri-burg region back in Kalamity Dick's day had a high-end precedent ?
"Get a horse !"


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:21 pm

Heard on a Chugwater street corner:

What did the one flamboyant individual say to the other ?

"Gaelic", .... why, two of my favorite activities !"
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by CudaMan » Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:29 pm

Wow, over 1000 posts on this thread so far, that must be some kind of record! :)
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:34 pm

A lot of people interested when history is being made (up) !

:roll:
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Aug 02, 2019 1:06 pm

....and 24583 views. Not bad for an unpopular thread. Truth is stranger than fiction but fiction really ain't that bad.
Think what we could do if we put our minds to it.
Thanks to all and sorry to the rest.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Aug 02, 2019 2:56 pm

Burger in Spokane wrote:
Fri Aug 02, 2019 12:34 pm
A lot of people interested when history is being made (up) !

:roll:
When you think about it, ALL history is "made up". Depends entirely on who's lying to you about what. Dunno who said that, "history is written by the victors" but that's certainly true.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:17 pm

If the coach had only put me in in the fourth quarter, ... everything would
have different ! We would have won the game, gone to State, I would have
been a star and be sitting in a hot tub right now with my soul mate .... If
only the coach had put me in .....
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Mon Aug 05, 2019 3:22 am

Ah yes Burger, If only....
That has been the lamentation since the game was in it's infancy.
Here is a scene from a game Chugwater played in 1911 against Buffalo Gap.
Things could have been different if the guys from Ernie's had stayed off of the field!
football 1911.JPG
How did that game end?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:07 am

As can be seen in the center of the photo, part of the game strategy in those days
was to stand on your team mate's head. This was largely associated with the playing
of bagpipes, and was later banned by the governing bureau for obvious reasons.

Is it just me, or does anyone else notice the lack of regard given to obvious reasons
in today's society ?

Such a strange time we live in.
More people are doing it today than ever before !

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Aug 05, 2019 12:29 pm

Off coarse we all know Kalamity Dick's cousin Walter, twice detached, dabbled in the sport on the gridiron. Headstomping with cleats left him exhausted at games end. He did play for Buffalo Gap half a season but was discharged for running sideways. Seems a little severe to me.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Aug 05, 2019 9:36 pm

Rich,

Has Heinrich seen this photo ? If not, he is going to be ecstatic to see photographic
evidence of Chugwater's early ideas for toilet tissue, .... in this case, the solid cylinder
of paper, ... before they thought of putting the hole in the center for easier spin-off
of the layers on the roll. Hygiene was so greatly improved all across the Tri-Burg area
when the traumas of inconvenience were finally overcome.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Tue Aug 06, 2019 12:04 am

progress.JPG
What can I say that hasn't been said before?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:32 am

I can recall when J. C. Whitney became more plentiful than Montgomery Wards at our house. As they say, "the jobs not finished til the paperwork is done".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Grizwaldo » Wed Aug 07, 2019 12:05 am

I think some contributors have been out in the sun way too long and may need to seek shelter. Getting back to reality was the time Dick was riding the Yellow Coach bus from Rapid City to Cheyenne to catch a train on some sort of religious quest. He decided to stop off in the best saloon in downtown Gun Barrel Wyoming and have one last drink. Well,the only one in Gun Barrel and if you got there early you might get a chair,otherwise it was a crate or empty keg to sit on. He told the bartender he wanted the biggest beer in the house since it was going to be his last for quite a spell. Well,it was a big one and determined to put it down,took him two and a half days. The other patrons heard him talking about his quest and got worried about him missing his train in his unconscious state. Elmer and Sally Bruegman were headed to cavalry Fort D.A. Russell with a large load of hay behind a four horse hitch and stopped for a sarsaparilla. The folks asked them if there was any way they could take Dick on into town. They found a low spot towards the back and tied him into it. Took a couple days but they got the hay to the fort and Dick to the depot. Questions have remained as to just what Dick got and put down that day until bottle diggers found and excavated the old Gun Barrel can dump. What they found was this five or six gallon beer bottle from the Sicks Brewing Co of Salem Oregon. It was the only one of that size and there weren't even pieces of any others. Near by was the cap,a bit rusty but was the correct one for that bottle. This is believed to be the exact bottle that Dick drank from. How it survived the trip to Gun Barrel being shook up from the rough roads and not blowing up,not used for target practice ner nothin. The bottle diggers had no idea the prize they had found and sold it for just a few bucks since the label was all but gone. Yup,that's just the way it happened. Pictured with a one gallon can.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:42 am

What a find Steve. I recall Clarence Van Briggle telling the story almost word for word except for the part about the Grizzly.
Thanks for the account.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:09 am

Clarence provided the story and photos of the time Klaus Untervaager wandered
into town in a daze, unaware of who he was or how he got there, all covered in
schmutze. Chief Running Bear happened to be in town buying spatulas, and upon
looking Klaus over, proclaimed it "unworldly".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:40 am

Why was Chief Running Bear in town buying spatulas? Was he in on the upcoming craze for buffalo wing pizza? Kalamity was working on the tools to be use in the ovens:
spatulas.JPG


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Grizwaldo » Thu Aug 08, 2019 2:17 pm

Word for word except the GRIZ part huh,Rich? I'll be darned. Did ol' Clarence happen to mention they also found this Hoods sarsaparilla bottle out there that may have been the exact one caressing the ruby red lips of Sally Breugman that day?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Aug 08, 2019 10:25 pm

Just a sidenote, but to this day, the Calhoun County Ladies League for Debate & Exposition
offers the same word-for-word exchange program at all the area libraries on the first Thursday
of the week that was first instituted in 1901. This weeks two-for-one deal is made for any use
of "lemon pepper" in a sentence.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Aug 10, 2019 11:06 am

While we are waiting for the contestants to respond, the Ladies of the League send their best and thanks for all your support. Shown here with spatulas in hand.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Aug 10, 2019 6:22 pm

Clearly, some of these ladies were also members of the Trading Faces Club, another
civic group, whose selfless efforts allowed homely lasses to see the world through a
prettier face for a while, and allow those of better aesthetic blessing to know what it
is like to be born of more pug-like features. Both clubs still square off every Thanksgiving
Day for a 3 hour rugby match in Chugwater Park.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by tmodeldriver » Sun Aug 11, 2019 8:38 am

I like the girl in the back row center. She's so tall she could hunt ducks with a tater rake. Might even bring 'em down with that grin if it didn't tear 'em up too bad.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Aug 11, 2019 11:23 am

The women of Calhoun County were always known for their exceptional abilities.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Wed Aug 14, 2019 7:42 am

What is the meaning of this? And how does it relate to KD?
Ma and Pa.JPG
Massachusetts and Pennsylvania?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:25 am

It is most likely Cliffwillow District Park. We see the control sheds here for the wind tunnel feature. Manual Actuators and Precision Actuators were used depending on the number of viewers present. Interesting to see Rowena Rathbone's Doble Steam Car at right. Kalamity Dick had pressed some confabloator components into use on it which doubled the startup time. You might recall that Rowena had been the Yellow Jack Champion for 11 years nearly consecutive without a pickle in the bowl. Look it up in Ripley's. Most of her inspiration for her onomatopoeia came from the wind tunnel eruptions.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Wed Aug 14, 2019 9:20 am

It must be the design of the building but its been said you often hear thunder coming from those wind tunnels?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Wed Aug 14, 2019 9:22 am

Side note, alot of paperwork has been done in those small buildings.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:13 am

At the time, Rowena was Board President at The Institute. She was instrumental in
the decision NOT to archive the paperwork generated at the wind tunnel control stations,
claiming "hygienic reasons". The board agreed and such has been the case ever since.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:16 am

Dallas, correct on both counts.
The question I have is why have the two cousins sitting on the running-board buried Ringo the Clown (lower left) up to his waist? Some sort of school club prank?
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Wed Aug 14, 2019 11:21 am

Clowning around digging the basement for the control houses no doubt Rich.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Wed Aug 14, 2019 11:41 am

This brings up an interesting interlude in KD's career. Careful readers will recall a previous post regarding Cuthbert's confused meanderings in wilderness areas; (see photo)
Kalamity's efforts to assist his old friend landed him a consultant position with the Forest Service. His expertise was utilized to enhance scenic wonders which were under the care of the USFS, such as the "Thunder Caves" at Cliffwillow District Park". Another of his accomplishments at the time was the manual control valve on the steam line which ran from Old Faithful Lodge to the celebrated geyser, controlling its timing and pressure. The valve wheel and steam line were above ground and visible well into the 1960's. I wonder if the system KD worked on is still in place ? I haven't been back since '66.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:08 am

Here we see the manual control valve system in the late '30s. The basement also had perfect acoustics for late night kazoo concerts. Dignitaries from far and wide were treated to the Cliffwillow Five during the aardvark mating season and other special occasions. One of the cousins was particularly gifted on the Hydraulophone.
TnlCntrlz.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:35 am

Note the ultra-rare Eugswalloe Patent slide valve turbines in use here. These
are the early units with the compound adapter mounting. Later models had the
simple straight casting.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:51 am

That's Logston Q. Barnstable in the photo. He assisted Kalamity with the installation of the improvements. An able engineer in his own right, Barnstable came up the hard way as an apprentice in the skunk works at Stebanite.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:19 pm

Working in the basement of the control houses was fraught with peril. Notice Logston wearing a hat wich was required. They never knew what was going to drop on them and when. The lunch room was the only place that was safe. The sign above the lunch room door said " yesterdays lunch banned"

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:48 pm

As Dallas mentioned the lunchroom was a safe place and many spirited hands of Old Maid and Flinch were played there during the slow spells. Logston and his chief drain tester are chowing down in this snapshot. This was of coarse after the Eugswalloes were replaced.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Aug 16, 2019 4:44 pm

This photo proves rumors that Logston's chief drain cleaner was a satyr (half man, half goat) were true. His name is lost to history (at least as far as the Institute's archives are concerned) but hearsay accounts claim he concealed his differences by wearing long trousers and hobnail boots when off the job. Of course few persons ever saw him at work in the basement.
"Get a horse !"


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Aug 17, 2019 1:35 am

When Kalamity showed Logston the advantages to be had in utilizing a fragrant
mound condensor before treating the wind tunnel materials to the Eugswalloe
Patent slide valve turbines, Logston made a call to the Supt. of Operations for
authorization to install an experimental unit for testing. It was installed as soon
as Kalamity could procure the needed square jamb penticulators and do the necessary
rivet work. Apparently management was not as sure of a successful outcome as the
operations team, but soon all systems were converted. Although the controls were
made digital in 1992, the entire works remains as rebuilt in 1921.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Aug 17, 2019 9:30 am

This sketch shows the advantage of using the fragrant mound condensor. Froth skimmers set up disturbance in the crapping phase. Nodulated frill caps have been added (lower left) in place of the usual clam benders. Kalamity learned from years of confabulator adjusting not to over lean the hasbron sleeves. Thus eliminating the need for Marvin's Mystery Fluid or other additives. The peripheral rivets mentioned above have been omitted from this sketch for clarity. Something the drafters often did when working after hours.
Thanks
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:36 pm

That's excellent work, Rich. I've never seen a schematic that so clearly shows the
advantage, as well as the numerical breakdown of the parts. Did Heinrich pull this
from the files ?

On a side note, your mention of after hour omissions for drawing clarity was no chance,
or lazy affair. Union Rule 241, enacted in 1872 ultimately led to the Swanson Act, in 1898,
cordially requesting draftsmen working afterhours to cease all after hour EMISSIONS. However,
a typo or misreading of the intitial draft set into official policy something that was meant
to improve hygiene in the wind tunnel basement areas during the un-manned night shift,
but ended up keeping rivets from cluttering the schematic drawings.

Funny how things work out some times.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Sun Aug 18, 2019 5:58 am

Have either of you ever played the card game "fizzbin"?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:52 pm

Stook and gin and racehorse pitch, war and crazy eights, 21 and 31 and 747, if I don't play for money Wayne, will I still get to heaven ? Never heard of fizzbin though. :?:
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Aug 18, 2019 3:23 pm

I had to look up "fizzbin". It's a dangerous one indeed. We played a lot of crazy 8's at the sanitarium with the Abmbltoffs but Abner often dealt from the bottom. Games of chance were not in the cards for me. My Brother invented the game of "Schtock", a lunchtime game of potato harvest played with elements from the lunchbox. Salt shakers, carrots and cookies became the board pieces. Often the game ended when the winner got another players "Yawes in Steemen". A shorter game than chess but it kept the Farmer mystified into extra minutes at break-time. Bob was kind of a character back then.
Thanks for asking, Wayne.
As for the slide valve delineation it was in the Eugswalloe file under Kongromets.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Aug 20, 2019 12:08 am

It was our own Cuthbert Maddox that held the dubious honor of being the first
teenage boy down at the beach to be told that the potato goes in the front. He
was SO embarrassed !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Aug 21, 2019 12:18 am

Just a friendly reminder from the Chugwater Chapter of the CFAE

saveitfor.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Aug 21, 2019 9:14 am

Thanks for the reminder. I'll try to do better.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Aug 22, 2019 2:55 am

Thanks, Rich. It will no doubt be appreciated. Your name had come up repeatedly
at the monthly meetings.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Aug 22, 2019 11:22 pm

money man.JPG
I found a photo of Dick's manager.
This is the guy that Dick had to make sure he had enough money to keep him in Happy Sally.
I just can't remember his name.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Aug 23, 2019 12:52 am

Euclid Barnstormer was his name.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Aug 23, 2019 12:59 pm

Not only was Euclid an accomplished accountant but he packaged tailings from the avocado mill in his spare time. He shipped these to Baltimore where craftsmen sculpted them into works of art in the Clampainian district. A sect of hillbillies who had discovered oil on their properties and become extremely wealthy had settled there rather than Beverly Hills for obvious reasons. Acquiring the fondness for the special art consumed most of their interest and time.
Herb's photo shows some of these packages along with KD's laundry. Occasionally the packages would get mis-labeled and then the mayhem ensued.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Aug 24, 2019 12:58 pm

Just Gooble "Euclid Barnstormer" and you'll get hours of reading on his promotion
and packaging that paved the way for many of the 20th century's greatest accomplishments.

In 1901, E.B. had a vivid dream of space travel after seeing a 4th of July fireworks show.
He, like K.D., slipped into his "workshop" and began conjuring the foundational ideas for
what we know of today as computers and rockets and travel beyond our gravity-bound
existence. He and KD had a wire between their two places and sent lots of messages between
the two, comparing thoughts and ideas until some began to gel.

By 1904, E.B. was closing in on a heavier-than-air flying craft. By 1910 it was flying. In the
the same year he had perfected a horseless carriage. Working with German engineer Werner
von Swizzlestick, he had a working rocket by 1955 and primitive computers the size of boxcars
that could conjugate verbs and count into double digits. He named and founded his program
the "Apple-O Space Program". Today we know both Apple computers and the accomplishments
of the Apollo Space Program, and it all began in sorting ore at the Avocado Mine tailings dump.

So much to share about this man ....
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Aug 25, 2019 7:38 am

As with most cases there was a woman involved. Euclid made a visit to St. Louis to find some fireworks and met this young lady.
fireworks girl.JPG
fireworks girl.JPG (66.89 KiB) Viewed 1690 times
Being a patriotic fellow he spent a lot of time making a selection. Here is another connection, did you knw that this young lady is Von Swizzlesticks cousin? Also that there is a major street in St. Louis named Euclid!
It is remarkable how the tiny connections can make history.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Aug 25, 2019 2:12 pm

Gertie Queuetippe was indeed the "Fireworks Girl" and first cousin of Werner von
Swizzlestick. Gertie had already patented the Q-tip, and through licensing agreements
lived very well for her very long life. She came to Chugwater at the invitation of the
Grunda Fulpants, on behalf of the Uvula League, where she met and married Professor
Schittefromme Scheinola. She died in 1982, at the age of 112. Her grave is in the Odd
Fellows Cemetery in the Upper Terrace. You can see her unique headstone poking up as
you pass on Pisapacattiquattimawken Avenue.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Kaiser » Sun Aug 25, 2019 4:17 pm

She must have been one hot little firecracker by the looks of her :D
When in trouble, do not fear, blame the second engineer ! 8-)
Leo van Stirum, Netherlands
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Aug 26, 2019 10:50 am

Euclid Barnstormer led something of a double life. Guilt-ridden for leaving his aging widower father alone on the family farm as he pursued a glamorous white-collar career managing KD's many interests, he made amends by disguising himself and volunteering at Grange Halls all over the country as he traveled. Becoming somewhat notable in those circles as "The Lone Granger" he was accompanied at times by a French-Canadian side-kick known as "Tonneau".
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Dallas Landers » Mon Aug 26, 2019 4:52 pm

Who was that task man?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Tue Aug 27, 2019 2:28 am

This talk reminds me of my cheapskate Father, and his neverending ploys to pull a
fast one on the family to save a buck, and expect the hero accolades of having taken
us "first cabin".

Bob's Circus come to mind. From brown zebras to giant midgets, there was nothing
there to see that you could not see anywhere you went. When cable TV came about
(we lived in the country), we kids were eager to watch shows like Batman and the Lone
Ranger. Mother wanted Wild Kingdom. What Dad delivered was some 4th Rate cable
station that had Fat Man, ... some incredibly dull show about counting calories and
exercise, In our version of The Lone Granger, the protagonist was an itinerant silo and
rail car guy, miving from town to town, and as someone else mentioned earlier, Mild
Kingdom followed ordinary barn cats and goats and chickens through their daily motions.

I suspect he had a secondary motivation for dull, knockoff TV .... to get us out of the
house and checking fences, digging a new outhouse pit, or chopping firewood.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by tmodeldriver » Tue Aug 27, 2019 10:10 am

Ah yes, giant midgets, I see 'em all the time. On that note, if a stadium full of midgets did the WAVE would that be called a ripple?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Aug 28, 2019 9:54 pm

Would it be correct to assume that the reason for such quiet here, within this noble
research body, is connected to the Buy 12, get the 13th Free sale down at Spatula City ?

I'd be there myself, if I had not stocked up on spatulas at last year's big event.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:05 pm

As for the long and short of it, I believe many are waiting for the inevitable cabin fever that will be setting in all too soon. I have been storing my nuts away for the Winter months myself.
Stay tuned and best wishes.
Rich

A spatula is my favorite upholstery tool.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Aug 29, 2019 12:17 am

As you mentioned cabin fever, ... several studies have shown that many find spatulas
an essential marital aid to keep things on the up and up during the cold winter months.

And remember kids, one should never confuse a spatula for a flipper. The two are
distinctly different tools.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Thu Aug 29, 2019 4:19 am

Giant midgets do exist, at the same time as midget giants..
giant.JPG

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sun Sep 01, 2019 8:58 am

Father and son are pictured here. Bernie Latchgrommet (wearing tie) and his son Tyrone (in the Bukaroos) are proof that smoking stunts your growth and Grassfed Beef makes you taller. The Institute did both large and small studies with exactly the same results. This is undoutably time put to good use with KD activity in a lull at the time .
BigLittle.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Sep 01, 2019 4:12 pm

Bernie swore by his smoked beef, whereas Tyrone never got the hang of it, and settled for
what seemed like the inferior grass fed stuff. Both lived past 90 years old, but Bernie was
able to sleep in a violin case. Tyrone could barely fit one of his boots in that same case.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Sep 02, 2019 12:30 pm

The Latchgrommets were Gilsonite miners from Dragon. Their journals of life
along the U.Ry. have been a treasure to historians. Millions of tons of the stuff
went out over Baxter Pass to make black cars for some guy in far way Detroit
back in the day. Today, it is hard to find a trace of any of it.

Myrna Vunkloid was the last permanent resident of Dragon. Her son Mike lived
here in Spokane, and asked me to help clean up her place when she passed away.
Mike and I flew to Mack and drove over the pass to Dragon. It was a simple little
shack of a house. Up on pier posts, with sheer curtains in the windows. She slept
in an ornate cast iron bed frame. A beautiful chenille bead spread lay over the
perfectly made bed. It was like stepping through a time warp where it was still
1930. Pulling old boxes out from under the house, I found a lot of rattlesnakes.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Tue Sep 03, 2019 3:19 pm

That's a delightful description of Myrna's cozy home. A certain musty magic was about those places. Much the same was the nephews bedroom where Nimrod and Hennessy grew up. The fun and frolic shaped the wonderful young men they grew to be.
Rich
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Sep 04, 2019 12:36 am

Funny, but I have that exact same bed frame in adult size !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Wed Sep 04, 2019 5:51 am

Ah! But do you have the remarkable automatic child's rattle to go with it?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Wed Sep 04, 2019 10:57 am

For reasons I will never understand, I took a fancy to those sparkly glass things on
telephone poles before I turned 5 years old, and have been scratching around in the
brush and rocks and cañons ever since, right where the danger noodles like to hang
out, so my exposure to rattlesnakes has probably been higher than most all my life.
But no, I do not keep them around as a matter of "inventory" !

Anyone else here ever notice the odd, "inflating" sound that rattlesnakes make as
they coil ? If a person moves through areas where they might be with reasonable
stealth, the rattler will give up his position with this sound before it can rattle. A
good thing to know, when you are playing around in country where the danger noodles
dwell. I think they even teach this during spring quarter at The Institute as part of
Rattlesnake Month in Calhoun County
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by wayne sheldon » Thu Sep 05, 2019 4:47 am

"Danger noodles", I love that!

I find it odd for me. I may have grown up in the quintessential societal hive of San Jose Califunny, but much of my life has been in countryside and rural areas. I spent much childhood on my grandparent's ranch outside Modesto. My dad owned and operated Cable Television systems in small mountain towns. I used to hike in wilderness areas, camped for vacations, and for nearly fourteen years now live in the former Gold Country of the Sierra Foothills!
I learned very young on my grandparent's ranch to watch for dangers. By the time I turned two, I knew what a black widow spider was, I knew what its web looked like, and where they like to spin their webs and nests. I was also instructed about your danger noodles! I watch and listen for them. I really do. However, in my entire life, I have actually seen less than ten rattle snakes in the wild. Three of those (all babies!) were at my current home! That should mean that they are actually around here. I should be seeing the adults, and where there are three babies, there should be fifty of them! I tried to take pictures of one on a hike elsewhere in the Sierras. It was pretty well camouflaged but can be seen in one picture I took. It was a youth, but had two buttons on its tail. One, I actually found (dead) in a service box at a job-site of East San Jose near the foot of Mt Hamilton. It was within the city limits.

Tell Sebastian to be careful where he steps.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Sep 05, 2019 10:47 am

Why do you think Sebastian wears those thigh-high leather boots, Wayne ?

He told me himself, he HATES watching where he steps ! When he was dating
Myrtle Ostergaard, she saif he even wears those things to bed !

Sounds like you and I traversed some of the same ground back in the day. We
lived in Walnut Creek and I believe I can credit my mental disorder for liking all
things old and cool to the many trips we took to the Sierra foothill country. Between
the rusting hulks of old machines and vehicles to the old brick and falsefronted buildings,
to the hippie scene of old furniture and crafty stuff made of old junk, I was doomed
to a life chasing rust and quarter-sawn oak !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by perry kete » Thu Sep 05, 2019 8:51 pm

I thought Sebastian wore thigh-high leather boots so his legs don't get chafed when he pole dances on the brass pole at Ernie's Place. After a few Happy Sally's he was ready to go! :o :o
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Thu Sep 05, 2019 10:03 pm

The various Tri-Burg tabloids have carried stories of such a salacious nature about
many of the area citizens over the years. At one time it was asserted that Adolph
Hitler had somehow escaped capture and was making/selling his favorite streussel
around the mines above Silver Plume. When investigators fanned out across the area,
the only thing they found were copies of the Saddle String Enquirer with the story on
the front page. It was concluded that one can't believe everything they see in print.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:09 pm

So very true, Burger. The Saddle String Enquirer was probably the worst offender when it came to promulgating "fake news" back in the day. Take this headline for example :

"Quint Essential, bee-keeper from San Jose, gets stung on bogus Silver Plume mining shares"
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Fri Sep 06, 2019 7:18 pm

Say what you will about the Enquirer. While Snerdly Prangford was editor it was the only daily that stood up for Kalamity Dick during the Binford scandal or published factual information concerning the mushroom processors. The whole town may have fallen into chaos, confusion and possibly disorder if not for their level heads. Heck, had not Mosburg Spelsch donated his woodcarvings to the reservoir the the whole west side would have gone underwater. Smedly, second from the middle, took on the field games single handedly and his sister Myrth sold Chiclets to make ends meet. Put that in your five and dime and set it on fire.
STEnqur.jpg
Now I have that off my chest, there will be a meeting in the foyer at 11:00
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Fri Sep 06, 2019 11:12 pm

How did Mosburg Spelsch donate his wood carvings to the reservoir ? 40 years ago,
Marshall Toelle told me he buried many California two-piece tramps along the old
right of way before the river was dammed. Today, a nice example would easily bring
3-5 thousand dollars at auction !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Sat Sep 07, 2019 10:46 am

I went to the foyer at 11:00, but no one was there. The five and dime in Medicine Bow burned to the ground in 1928. Smedly Spelsch was accused of arson, but nothing was proved. The Saddle String Enquirer used ink made from coal dust and tobacco juice, byproduct of the paper's sideline businesses. For that reason the publication was always in demand as it made excellent kindling.
"Get a horse !"

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Sat Sep 07, 2019 11:23 am

The meeting was cancelled for safety reasons. Sorry you didn't get the message. Check the "IN" box.
Yes, they did try to retrieve some of the carvings with little success.
Dam.jpg
When did I do that?


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Sep 07, 2019 1:18 pm

WOW ! A photo of the Winner's Circle at the very first Celilo Falls 500 !
Not much has been said so far about Kalamity Dick's short, but very successful
time in automotive racing. Wanting to go out a winner, he swept the Double
Crown in 1921 and 1922, then stepped away from the sport to build the very
profitable river crossings. This photo remarkably captures KD's first trolley
crossing and the almost completed bridge upstream. Built on a hunch that the
mushroom stand business was going to be big, the bridge allowed the new mushroom
barns being contrusted above Celilo to have rail access, for both in-bound moss
delivery and outgoing mushrooms for the stands. KD's hunch paid off big, and it
is said that he netted a solid $25 in the first year alone.
More people are doing it today than ever before !


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:16 pm

A couple additional side notes ....

It was in a late-life interview with the aforementioned Saddlestring Enquirer that
Kalamity revealed it was a night of too much Happy Sally that provided the idea of
contrusting a bridge, as opposed to constructing a bridge, that revolutionized the
process, creating a far stronger structure, at greatly reduced cost, due to building
speed.

It has always been told around Calhoun County and surrounds that the communities'
gratitude for his civic contributions led him to never lack for want. Or was it want
for went ? Disirregardlessly, he never did, and as a result of this and his benevolent
nature, led to gifting most of his earnings from the river crossings projects to charity.
Our Lady of Pertpetual Sorrow church provided many civic services, including the care
of those orphaned by the 1931 punctuation storm and flood, thanks to the selfless
thoughts and actions of KD.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sat Sep 07, 2019 11:06 pm

A little known fact. Kalamity wanted to build that bridge but there was no river or falls nearby. So being of the inventive ilk he got to work building this machine:
dredging.jpg
There fore the river and falls came into being.
This same mentality is where the phrase "If you build it they will come" came from.
I wish that they would identify the people in the photo.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Sep 08, 2019 4:00 am

Herb,

What a coincidence !!! I was just happened to be reading the manual for this, and
one will note the triangle framing on this .... this is the Funkhauser Triangulator that
the Funkhauser boys built on license from KD. The group all worked together perfecting
the design, but amongst others, Funkhauser's had the unique triangle forward frame.

Confirming the argument, you will note that ALL the Funkhauser boys are present,
including Zebulon, Cyrus, and Oxnard, third from center. Oxnard, as we all know, went
on the other great things, like writing the song "Happy Birthday" and doing the nose
hair design on the faces of Mount Rushmore.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Sun Sep 08, 2019 10:05 pm

More news!!
There has been a discovery in a trunk in the loft of a barn in the Tri-Burg area.
What an important glimpse into the past doings in the area.
trophy.JPG
Alas again there was no notation to go with the photo.
I am speculating it has to do with the Pinochle tournament held annually, but I just can't be sure.


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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Sun Sep 08, 2019 11:34 pm

The pinochle tournament trophies were vertical, with a hand holding a card.
The bowl trophies were a big part of the Throat Warbling Jamboree and Tournament,
that goes back to 1860, when Eustus Buckwalter settled in the Chugwater Basin.
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Mon Sep 09, 2019 7:53 am

Well ok Burger I will go with that. I just didn't know and want to thank you for clearing that up.
Would that be a bottle of Happy Sally they are pouring into that trophy cup? Or is it some spurious spirit that invaded the area? The bottle doesn't look quite right. I wonder if back in that time the concoctors at Sally's used what ever bottles could be found?

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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Eagle » Mon Sep 09, 2019 2:56 pm

Well, the suppliers of Happy Sally improved their containers over the years to keep up with popular trends. Cliff Toshover, a world renowned bottle collector, displays 4 from his collection here. The bottle at far left was blown in a hinged mold leaving a vertical seam. With the long neck it may be the type in the recent photo.
You may recall the Hennessy worked for the Kliponsky works for a short time. They made the bottles used from 1926 to 1932 near Benkelman. He dated the foreman's daughter Zaideen but getting home late due to a fractured wrist-pin didn't go over well.
Cliff's collection of glassware also contains many podium sample beakers from the Coptic period. A display was recently shown at the Woonsocket Gallery. Smedly was late but got some fine pictures.
HpySlly.jpg
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Rich Bingham » Mon Sep 09, 2019 5:43 pm

Cliff Toshover's experiences collecting bottles would make an interesting book. Up the valley from here, Malachi Ofberg recalls the day he saved Cliff from a bevy of angry hornets. The pair had been dredging for bottles on the Flu River bottoms where the old St. Swithin, Idaho dump had been located. Cliff picked up a bottle in which angry wasps had begun building a nest. Quickly dropping the bottle, he ran for the river, and would have been badly stung many times if the wasps hadn't been attracted to the neon lettering on Malachi's "keep Nehi grape" cap, and altered their course, thus allowing him to reach the water ahead of the wasps. Malachi's heavy plaid jacket saved him from being stung most everywhere, save the end of his nose and the seat of his pants. " All's well that ends swell !" Cliff liked to quip, but Malachi seldom laughed when the story was related to fellow bottle collectors.

I wish the Woonsocket display had included Cliff's rarest Happy Sally bottle, a re-purposed 1896 gallon Heinz Pickle jar sporting the traditional Happy Sally label. I've been an avid bottle collector for years. It's a most relaxing hobby that takes my mind off the stresses of life. Unfortunately, my wife has a habit of throwing them out when they're empty. (?)
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Burger in Spokane » Mon Sep 09, 2019 11:11 pm

Let's not overlook that places like Ernie's would fill YOUR bottle, should you bring
one in. I think most of the Happy Sally ever made went out the door this way.

Also, the Klement Brothers spent MANY years supply empty bottles they scrounged
and cleaned, to reuse by the distillery, as did many others. Like the old deposit soda
bottles, I suspect many bottles made many trips back for a refill !
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Re: OT - Adventures of Kalamity Dick - Fact or Fiction?

Post by Herb Iffrig » Fri Sep 13, 2019 5:56 pm

I'm sure the was a need for more bottles even though most bottles did not sit around long when they were full.
This photo might explain how some of the bottles met their end, but not all of them were used this way.
riflr bottle.JPG
I think it is a dumb way to do target practice. You should hold the rifle tighter to your shoulder, you can get hurt that way.
I'm sure there is a story behind these two , but again there is nothing written on the back.

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